


God, Jeremy Heere, What's Your Damage?

by orphan_account



Series: the heathers / bmc extravaganza [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Manipulation, crossovers, heather duke has a squip btw, squip is a jerk as always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-08 18:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11087832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Crossover fic between Heathers and Be More Chill. The school is Westerborough (think of it like a San Fransokyo situation). Takes place during the twenty-first century (so no eighties stuff unless you count Michael's old-school stuff).





	1. We Can More Than Survive, We Can Still Be Beautiful

**SEPTEMBER FIRST, 20XX**  
_Dear Diary,_  
_I believe I am a good person. You know, I think there’s good in everyone, but, uh... here we are._  
_First day of senior year!_  
_I look around at these kids that I’ve known all my life and I think to myself: what happened?_

Veronica Sawyer was sitting on the bus. She would have gotten her parents to drive her to school, but there was a sort of stigma around that, considering she was seventeen and clearly old enough to drive-- taking the bus might be kind of pitiful, but much less pitiful than shouting an ‘I love you’ at your mom as she pulled away from the front of the school. Besides, her mom usually slept in and her dad was gone for work before Veronica even had the chance to wake up. Veronica clicked her pen absentmindedly as some girls talked about something or other-- nothing really important, just gossip. Chloe Valentine blared on while the other two girls (Jenna Rowlan and Brooke Lohst, noted gossips) listened, rapt.  
“So, Jenna Rowlan said Madeline told Jake: ‘I'll only have sex with you if you beat me at pool.’” Chloe paused, a finger in the air, and Jenna and Brooke leaned in, though Brooke moreso, Jenna had that look on her face where you’ve heard the story before but you’re waiting for a friend’s reaction.  
“And then she lost at pool… _deliberately!”_ Chloe concluded, and Brooke let out a tiny squeal, which nearly made Veronica wince at how high-pitched it was.  
“That’s awesome!” Brooke responded, and Chloe gave her a look.  
_“Brooke!”_  
“I-- I mean slutty!” Brooke added, pressing her lips together and flushing slightly as Jenna put her hands on her hips and tilted her head confidently.  
“And then Madeline said--” Jenna started, but then Chloe cut her off in a way that made Veronica lean closer to her journal.  
**“I’m** telling the story, Jenna!”  
Suddenly, Brooke nudged Chloe and Jenna, flicking her eyes toward a beanpole-ish boy with horrible posture and a Pac-man button pinned to his backpack who didn’t even seem to be paying attention to the conversation, but the three girls shuffled away anyways, whispering amongst themselves.  
“Oh my god, he’s totally getting off on Mad…” Brooke hissed.  
Veronica stared after them for a moment before burying her head back into her journal.

_“Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!”_

_We were so tiny, happy and shiny / playing tag and getting chased_  
_“Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!”_  
_Singing and clapping, laughing and napping / baking cookies and eating paste_

The bus suddenly wheeled to a shuddering stop at the front of the school, and kids shuffled out, the Three Musketeers (Jenna, Chloe, and Brooke) continously talking up a storm as Veronica shoved her journal into her backpack and walked towards the school. Teenagers talked amongst themselves, cliquey as any self-respecting high school would be.  
Veronica found herself staring at the back of some boy’s head. She realized it was that same beanpole on the bus that was needlessly insulted by Brooke on the bus. What was his name? Jerry? She was a year ahead of him, she was pretty sure. She couldn’t be sure, she didn’t know him, but either way. There was some empathy to be felt for him, considering he was just mildly humiliated but five minutes earlier.  
There were words Veronica picked up as she walked the halls, all of them insults, not necessarily directed towards her, but insults nonetheless.  
_  
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!_

_Then we got bigger-- that was the trigger / like the Huns invading Rome  
Welcome to my school, this ain’t no high school / this is the Thunder Dome_

========

Jeremy Heere was thoroughly experienced with high school, and the fact that if you were not part of any large clique, you were deemed as a loser. Even kids who’d play Magic the Gathering in the hallways would be mostly left alone given that they’d do it in sizable groups. Meanwhile, Jeremy had but one friend-- and he didn’t have any classes with Michael, so he could only see him at lunch and after school; any other time he was completely a loner and was prime pickin’s for insults and getting pushed around. Which, again, was not hard, considering that Jeremy was a largely unthreatening figure with bad posture and an aversion to eye contact.  
“Hey! Tall-ass! Get out of my way!” came a voice, and Jeremy found himself being shoved against a locker and a hand against his backpack, to which he could only assume his current tormentor-- a short guy named Rich-- was writing something on his backpack.  
“You wash that off, you’re _dead_ ,” Rich sneered before swaggering away and launching himself into a conversation with Jake something-or-other. Jeremy brushed his hair out of his face, sucked in a breath, and started walking again.  
  
_I navigate the dangerous hall,_  
_Focus on a poster there on the wall,_  
_Avoiding any eye contact at all,_  
_And trying hard to remain unseen._  
_The poster's closer now, what does it say?_

**A MIDSUMMER’S NIGHT DREAM -- AUDITION SIGN-UP SHEET**

_It's a sign up for the after school play…_

Jeremy stared at it as he walked past it, before squaring his jaw and continuing to walk, ignoring it.

 _...it's a sign up sheet for getting called "gay",_  
_And that's not what I need right now, end scene,_  
_I hang a left, and there’s--_

Christine Canigula. Drinking out of a water fountain for a few moments, moments enough for Jeremy’s heart to swell in his chest and his heart rate to quicken as he stood there dumbly for a few seconds.  
“Christine…” he mumbled out loud (unfortunately) and Christine looked at him, which made Jeremy seize up.  
“Did you say something?”  
“I-- I just--” Jeremy stammered, and Christine stood up straight, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.  
“Hey, someone wrote something on your backpack!” she said suddenly, and looked at said backpack, which was hanging loosely off of Jeremy’s right shoulder. _“‘BOYF?’_ What’s that mean?”  
“I-- uh--”  
“You better go wash that off.” Christine gave a small smile before walking off in an aloof way, leaving Jeremy dumbfounded.

 _Well that was smooth,_  
_Yeah that was super pimp,_  
_My mac daddy game couldn't be more limp!_  
_No time to wallow, no instead,_  
_Just clear your brain and move ahead,_

Jeremy sucked in a breath and walked forward, pulling the unused strap of his backpack onto his other shoulder to balance the weight. For one, ‘BOYF’ might be an acronym for something humiliating (‘boy on your...friend?’ ‘big old yonder freak????’) or maybe it was just gibberish. Probably an acronym he didn’t understand.

 _Except that you're one of those guys,_  
_Who'll be a virgin 'till he dies!_  
_I don't wanna be a baller!_  
_Just want some skills to count on._  
_If my nuts were any smaller,_  
_They would be totally gone!_  
_If I continue at this rate,_  
_The only thing I'll ever date,_  
_Is my MacBook Pro hard drive,_  
_I don't wanna be Clooney, no, no,_  
_I just wanna survive!_

The bell rang, saying to everyone in the halls to haul ass to their classes or they’d get a tardy slip.

=====

_Hold your breath / and count the days / we’re graduating soon  
College will be paradise / if I’m not dead by June!_

The first thing Veronica heard after walking into the cafeteria was someone shouting ‘white trash!’ but it wasn’t directed towards her and she honestly couldn’t care less. She grabbed a tray (bright primary red plastic) and stood in the lunch line as the staff gave out mediocre-but-not-inedible food. She stared at the reflection of light on the plastic tray.

 _But I know, I know, life can be beautiful._  
_I pray, I pray for a better way._  
_If we changed back then,_  
_we could change again._  
_We can be beautiful..._

A sudden noise of pain snapped Veronica back to her senses and she stared over at a boy lying on the floor as some jock sauntered away confidently.

_Just not today._

“Hey, are you okay?” Veronica asked, leaning over and holding a hand out to help him up.  
The guy on the floor waved a hand at her and scowled. “Get away, nerd!”  
“Oh-- sorry.” Veronica retracted her hand and returned to the lunch line feeling thoroughly stupid. So much for loving thy neighbour.

_Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!_

_Things will get better / soon as my letter / comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown._  
_Wake from this coma, / take my diploma, / then I can blow this town._  
_Dream of my ivy-covered walls / and smoky French cafes..._

Oh-- she had just jostled some tall guy in a red jacke-- oh, that guy. She winced.  
“Watch it!” the guy sneered and Veronica winced again.

_Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!_

She was snapped out of her thoughts again as said guy upended her lunch tray and it was sent clattering to the floor. Veronica flushed in embarrassment and leaned over to pick it up as she heard a very fake ‘oooooops’ come out of the offender.

_Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker.  
Eighth year of smacking lunch trays--_

“--and being a huge dick,” Veronica mumbled under her breath, and Ram, who was about to walk away, snapped his head back at her and got-- to use a colloquialism, got all up in her grill.  
“What the hell did you just say to me, _skank?”_ Ram hissed, and Veronica wilted.  
“Guh. Nothing.” Thankfully, this response seemed to satisfy Ram, and the jock strolled away.

 _But I know, I know, I know..._  
_Life can be beautiful._  
_I pray, I pray, I pray_  
_For a better way._  
_We were kind before;_  
_we can be kind once more._  
_We can be beautiful…_

The next thing to shock Veronica out of her thoughts (for the love of god she needs to pay more attention to things) was a hand on her shoulder whom she immediately recognized as belonging to Martha Dunnstock due to the fact that Martha was staring right at her face.  
“Hey, Martha.”  
“Hey.”

_Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers._

“We still on for movie night?” Martha asked, tilting her head, and Veronica nodded with a grin.  
“Yeah, you’re on Jiffy Pop detail!” Old-school, sure, but there was a guy behind Spencer’s Gifts in the mall who seemed to have stocked up for them like it was the apocalypse around the time they were selling it back in the eighties. (It was sealed popcorn kernels. It hadn’t killed ‘em yet.)  
“I rented The Princess Bride!” Martha beamed, and Veronica let out a low whistle.  
“Hoho, again? Wait-- don’t you have it memorized by now?” she asked, and Martha shrugged.  
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending--”  
“Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Hoooonk!” someone shouted, and a different jock leaned over and upended Martha’s tray this time.

_Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team.  
Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf._

_“Hey!_ Pick that up! Right now!” Veronica demanded, furious. Kurt looked over at her with the smarmiest grin on his face known to man (that of which only made Veronica angrier).  
“I’m sorry, but are you actually talking to me?”  
“Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend! You're a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant!” Veronica half-shouted with her hands on her hips, Kurt’s mouth opened dumbly.  
“You have a zit, right there,” Kurt said, which Veronica thought was a lackluster comeback but the teenagers around her couldn’t eat it up fast enough, barking laughter surrounding her, which made Veronica flush with embarrassment as Martha rescued her lost lunch tray.

=====

“Michael!” Jeremy called, and the aforementioned Michael turned and his face lit up as his eyes laid on his best friend.

 _“Jeremy, my buddy,_  
_How's it hanging? Lunch is bangin',_  
_Had my sushi, got my slushy and more!_  
_The roll was megi-maki and I'm feelin' kinda cocky,_  
_'Cos the girl at Sev' Elev' gave me a generous pour!”_

“Are you listening to Bob Marley again?” Jeremy asked with a smile, and Michael nodded animatedly as he slurped down his slushie and bobbed his head to the music through those huge white headphones of his.

 _“Ohhhh,_  
_I'm listenin' to Marley,_  
_And the groove is soundin' gnarly,_  
_And we're almost at the end of this song!_  
_Yeah, that was the end, now tell me friend:_  
How was class? You look like ass; what’s wrong?”  
Jeremy sighed and took off his backpack to show Michael what was wrong. “Rich shoved me against a locker and wrote this. I don’t even know what ‘BOYF’ means.”  
Michael raised an eyebrow before pulling off his own backpack and showing Jeremy. “He did the same thing.” His read ‘RIENDS.’  
“BOYF RIENDS. Great.” Jeremy groaned, pulling his backpack back on. “I wrote Christine a letter telling her how I feel.”  
Michael beamed. “That’s progress!”  
“I tore it up and flushed it.”  
“Oh.”  
“It’s still progress!”  
“It’s all good!” Michael waved it off. “I saw on Discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!”  
Jeremy blinked. “Good…?”  
Michael nodded. “Evolution's the survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, you don't have to be strong to survive! Which means there's never been a better time in history to be a loser! So own it! Why try to be cool when you can be-”  
“Signing up for the play!” Jeremy interrupted, and Michael started.  
“I was gonna say gettin' stoned in my basement but, uh--”  
Jeremy waved him off. “No! I mean-- look who’s signing up for the play!” Michael followed his gaze. “Christine…” Jeremy mumbled, and Michael smiled and rolled his eyes.  
“You should sign up! You know, to get closer to her?” Michael suggested, but Jeremy seemed to have the same idea because Jeremy had started walking towards the sign-up sheet before Michael even finished talking.

 _I feel my body movin' through the air…_  
_See my converse walkin' over there…_  
_Take a shaky breath and I prepare…_  
_Who cares if people think I'm lame?_  
_Christine signed, I'll do the same!_  
_I grab the pen, I write my name…_

“Gaaaaaaay!” Rich called, and barking teenage laughter surrounded him-- didn’t affect Jeremy, though. He was going to be in a Midsummer’s Night Dream with Christine Canigula, and he couldn’t care less if others thought he was a loser or a pansy for that.

====

_Dear Diary: why?_

_(Why do they hate me?_  
_Why don't I fight back?_  
_Why do I act like such a creep?_  
_Why won't he date me?_  
_Why did I hit him?_  
_Why do I cry myself to sleep?_  
_Somebody hug me!_  
_Somebody fix me!_  
_Somebody save me!_  
_Send me a sign, God!_  
_Give me some hope here!_  
_Something to live for!)_

====

The doors to the cafeteria slammed open, which snapped Jeremy out of his Christine-induced stupor. Green, yellow, and red blobs stared back at him.  
Wait. No.  
Jeremy rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and the blobs formed into three girls, which he immediately recognized as--

====

_Heather, Heather, and Heather!_

_And then there’s the Heathers-- they float above it all._

Veronica looked up from her seat in the middle of the cafeteria, Martha beside her, just to see that same beanpole on the bus dart out of the way of the three Heathers, pressing against the wall like there was a bubble forcefield around the three girls pushing him back.  
The Heathers walked with purpose, with feeling, and Veronica couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy at the way everyone seemed to worship them.

 _Heather Macnamera: head cheerleader. Her dad is looooaded-- he sells engagement rings._  
_Heather Duke: No discernable personality, but her mom did pay for implants. I’ve actually seen her talk to herself a few times._  
_And then there’s Heather Chandler: the almighty._

Veronica kept staring-- she wasn’t alone in this. The Heathers were a presence nobody could stop looking at; especially Heather Chandler, who looked around at everyone like they were beneath her, akin to cockroaches in those eyes of hers.

_She is a mythic bitch._

As Veronica wrote, she heard her schoolmates talk amongst themselves, all about the Heathers.  
“I’d love to be their boyfriend.” a boy said.  
_That would be beautiful._  
“If I sat at their table, guys would notice me!” a girl piped up.  
_So beautiful._  
Martha leaned over to whisper in Veronica’s ear. “I’d like them to be nicer.”  
_That would be beautiful._  
“I’d like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats.”  
Everyone sitting next to the guy who said that scooted at least five feet away from him.  
The bell rang and everyone, en masse, got up in a mass exodus and left the cafeteria.

=====

_I'm never gonna be the cool guy,  
I'm more the one who's left out._

Jeremy Heere had waved goodbye to Michael, and was walking to his next class, hands shoved in his pockets. After avoiding the Heathers rather cartoonishly he wasn’t exactly feeling his best-- there was that thing on the bus, then the thing with Rich, and he had only barely avoided a situation with who were quite literally the most popular girls in school.

======

Veronica walked into the bathroom after lunch and immediately turned tail and walked out before she was noticed. Inside was Heather Chandler doing her makeup while Heather Duke vomited into a toilet and Heather Macnamera was trying her best to console Duke, hand on the other’s back.  
“God, grow up, Heather, bulimia is so last year,” Chandler said, and Veronica could hear the eyeroll in her voice.  
“Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather,” Macnamera said softly, and Duke retched in return before speaking.  
“Yeah, Heather, maybe I should,” Duke said, and Veronica couldn’t tell if Duke was being sarcastic or not-- oh, there goes Ms. Fleming, walking right past her into the girl’s restroom.  
“Ah, Heather and Heather…” Ms. Fleming said, but was interrupted by the sound of Duke vomiting again. “...and Heather. Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the _vomiting_ \-- you’re late for class.” Veronica peeked her head into the bathroom just to see Chandler fluttering her eyelashes. She started writing something down furiously.  
“Heather wasn’t feeling well. We’re helping her.”  
Ms. Fleming laughed. “Not without a hall pass, you’re not. Week’s detention.”  
Veronica walked in. “Um-- actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on hall pass. Yyyyyearbook commitee.” She handed Ms. Fleming a (very forged) note. Ms. Fleming took it with some measure of doubt and looked it over.  
“...I see you’re all listed… hurry up, and get to class.” Ms. Fleming handed the note back and sighed before leaving the four be. Chandler immediately leaned over and snatched the note away, looking it over.  
“This is an excellent forgery,” Chandler said, and Veronica felt a rush of satisfaction at the compliment, but wilted when Chandler shot her a straight-up glare. “Who _are_ you?”  
“Uh-! Veronica! Sawyer! I crave a boon.”  
“What boon?” Chandler said, stepping into Veronica’s personal space and staring at her balefully.  
“Let me sit at your table? Just-- just once, no-- no talking necessary; if people think you guys tolerate me, they’ll leave me alone.”  
The Heathers laughed at the idea, and Veronica felt a wave of shame and urgency.  
“--Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.” This seemed to pique the Heathers’ interest, thankfully.  
“How about prescriptions?” Duke asked hopefully, but was cut off by a sharp ‘shut up Heather’ from Chandler, making her mumble ‘sorry, Heather.’ Veronica could have sworn she saw Duke jolt, like she was being electrocuted or something. There was some empathy to felt here, and feel it Veronica did-- but not for long, considering Chandler was holding Veronica’s face, inspecting it like a piece of meat.  
“For a greasy little nobody, you _do_ have good bone structure.” Chandler raised an eyebrow and smirked. Veronica flushed.  
Macnamera stepped forward. “And a symmetrical face,” she offered, also holding Veronica’s face. Veronica felt kind of uncomfortable. “If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important.”  
Well, now Veronica was _very_ uncomfortable.  
Duke gave a little tsk. “You could stand to lose a few pounds.”  
Chandler shot Duke a glare, and Duke seemed to jolt again.

 _“And ya know, ya know, ya know?_  
_This could be beautiful._  
_Mascara, maybe some lip gloss,_  
_and we're on our way._  
_Get this girl some blush;_  
_And Heather, I need your brush._  
_Let's make her beautiful._

Let’s make her beautiful! Okay?” Chandler raised her eyebrows at Veronica, who gulped and nodded.  
“Okay!”

=====

Another hellish lunch.  
“Out of my way, geek!” Kurt shouted, pushing some kid out of the way, who wilted and offered an ‘I don’t want trouble--’ before Kurt yelled “You’re gonna die at 3 pm!” The kid jumped and ran off like a mouse, but ended up running into Chloe and Brooke, given that he wasn’t looking where he was going.  
“Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!” they both shouted, pushing him away, leaving the kid to wonder what he ever did to them. As that exchange went down, Jeremy and Michael were sitting along the wall in the cafeteria as Michael gulped down his slushie and Jeremy nursed a bottle of Crystal Pepsi that Michael had given him. They both sighed.

 _Who could survive this?_  
_I can't escape this!_  
_I think I'm dying!_

“Who’s that with Heather?” Michael said suddenly, and Jeremy looked up. Huh, yeah, they did seem to have a plus one.  
_Heather, Heather, Heather… and someone?_ The mass of kids tittered and Jeremy stared after the now four. He couldn’t see her face, but she seemed to have shiny brown hair and was wearing a blue bomber jacket and a gray skirt.  
“Do you know who that is?” Jeremy whispered, and Michael just shrugged.  
_Heather, Heather, Heather…_  
“--and a babe,” one of the guys in the collective of teenagers whispered.

_Of all the characters at school,  
I am not the one who the story's about._

Suddenly, he heard a name, plucked out of the air, coming from an overweight girl standing a few feet away from them, staring at the girl in blue.  
“Veronica?”  
The name went across the cafeteria in a wave.  
“Veronica?” “Veronica?” “Veronica?”

 _Why can't someone just help me out?_  
_And teach me how to thrive..._  
_Help me do more than survive!_

 _“Jesus,”_ Michael muttered. “What did they do, Pimp my Geek? She’s in my math class. Her name’s Veronica Sawyer, I’m pretty sure.”  
“Isn’t she a senior?”  
“I like math.”

 __If this was an apocalypse,__  
_I would not need any tips,_  
_In how to stay alive._

 

____====_ _ _ _

She’d never felt more _awesome!_ People were looking at her like-- like they’d look at Macnamera, or Duke, or Chandler-- okay, maybe not Chandler, given that Chandler was the _god_ of Westerborough, but all the same.

 _And ya know,_  
_ya know, ya know_  
_life can be beautiful._  
_You hope, you dream, you pray,_  
_and you get your way!_

She felt like bursting into laughter and dancing. She wouldn’t get bullied or pushed around or insulted anymore!

 __Ask me how it feels__  
_looking like hell on wheels…_  
_My God, it's beautiful!_  
_I might be beautiful_  
_And when you're beautiful…_  
_It's a beautiful frickin' day!_

_====_

_But since the Zombie army's yet to descend,_  
_And the period is going to end,_  
_I'm just tryin' my best to pass the test and… survive._

God, Jeremy wished he could be like Veronica-- out of nowhere, given a chance to be something, to be someone; but it didn’t really break him up too much. There was no chance for that, so there was no regret.  
He’d never be cool like that, and he was (mostly) fine with that.  
Jeremy chugged down the rest of his Pepsi as Veronica Sawyer was integrated into the most popular group of students in the school.


	2. It's From Japan, Jeremy Heere, and It Will Fight For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS FROM JAPAN  
> AND IT WILL FIGHT FOR YOUUUUUUU  
> IF YOU WOULD FIGHT FOR IIIIIIT
> 
> i skipped over candy store and i love play rehearsal a bit because i dont want all the chapters to have every lyric, and those two songs dont really have much action happening that i can describe verbally, so it would just be lyrics over and over
> 
> warning for a little bit of homophobic language from kurt and ram but i took out the f-slur because Bad

Jeremy stood outside of the drama room, wringing his hands nervously. It was lunch time, and instead of hanging out with Michael, he was going to go to play rehearsal. With Christine Canigula! Christine! Canigula!  
_Oh, god, he couldn’t do this._  
“I guess evolution’s not for everyone!” Jeremy said quickly, laughing fakely and Michael crossed his arms.  
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Michael reassured him-- but then smirked. “Of course, I’ll mock you forever if you don’t.”  
Jeremy sucked in a breath and started pacing-- pumping himself as Micheal pumped his fist in the air and said vague pep-talk compliments before Jeremy bit the bullet and strode right into the drama room, fists at his sides as Michael cheered.  
“See you after school!” Michael called, then the door and Jeremy couldn’t hear him anymore-- not that he cared, given that Christine was standing right in front of him, blinking at him. She was unstacking chairs.  
“Yo!” he said, then winced. ‘Yo?’ More like _yikes._  
“Yo!” Christine responded, grinning, and Jeremy let out a breath he had no idea he had been holding.  
“Is this where you meet for the play?” Jeremy asked, tilting his head. God, his voice sounded strangled, he must sound like an insane person to her.  
Christine laughed. “No, this is where you meet for the swim team.”  
“Oh.”  
“I’m joking!” she quickly reassured him, kind of frantic at Jeremy’s dejected reaction.  
“I’m Jeremy!” he spoke up suddenly, but winced. “I mean…” He stood there for a moment, barely verbal and lost in his own thoughts.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Hmmnnh?”  
“You seem nervous.”  
Jeremy sucked in a breath. “No I--” This was stupid but he was going to commit to saying it anyway-- “--always sweat this much.” Yikes.  
Christine smiled, eyes half-lidded. “I get it. You’re a virgin.”  
“I--”  
“First play rehearsal?”  
There was a moment until Jeremy realized just what the hell she was talking about, then gave a nervous chuckle. “You think I’m nervous about play rehearsal!”  
“Why else would you be shaking?” Christine asked, pulling chairs into a semi-circle. Jeremy took it upon himself to contribute to the chair circle. He laughed-- fakely, but he hoped that Christine wouldn’t notice. “Yeah-- totally freaked.”  
“It’s okay!” Christine said. The semicircle of chairs seemed to be finished, so Christine took a seat and patted the seat next to her. Jeremy’s heart swelled and he quickly took a seat next to Christine _(Christine Canigula!_ was all he could think). “I’m a little jealous, actually. You never forget your first!”  
Jeremy looked at her.  
“Play rehearsal!” Christine added quickly, realizing her mistake. “Coming here is the highlight…”  
Jeremy tilted his head. “Of your day?”  
Christine gave him the biggest smile he’d ever seen her give, and his heart swelled (again). “Of my _life!”_ She leaned back against the chair, lacing her fingers and stretching while cracking her knuckles.  
_“I love play rehearsal_  
_Because it’s the best!_  
_Because it is fun.”_  
  
====  
  
_Dear Diary,_  
_It’s been three weeks since I became friends with the Heathers-- actually, ‘friends’ isn’t exactly the right word. It’s more like the Heathers are people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit._  
  
The bell rang for lunch and Veronica was walking down the hall, the soles of her flats (lended to her by Macnamera) clicked against the linoleum flooring as she made a beeline for the cafeteria, where the Heathers would be waiting for her. She only stopped walking when she heard someone call her name, and she turned around and smiled when she saw the source-- Martha.  
“Hey, Veronica!” Martha came to a stop, brushing her hair out of her eyes and readjusting those clunky glasses of hers.  
“Hey!” Veronica almost waved but then remembered that Duke had told her with a sneer that waving would be, like, totally uncool. So she opted for a friendly head-nod.  
“You really do look beautiful these days,” Martha said, hands in the pockets of her jacket as she rocked back and forth on her feet, looking up at Veronica admiringly.  
Veronica gave a slightly embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, well, it’s still the same me, underneath.”  
Martha tilted her head. “Are you sure?” she asked, and Veronica sighed in pure and utter shame and guilt.  
“Look, I’m sorry I flaked on movie night last week-- I just have a _lot_ going on.”  
Martha-- sweet, sweet Martha-- looked concerned before sucking in a breath and giving Veronica a wide smile. “I get that. You’re with the Heathers now! That’s exciting!”  
Veronica shrugged. “It’s-- it’s whatever, but-- but we’ll hang soon! I promise!”  
“Okay!”  
They stood there looking at each other for a few seconds, smiling and not really sure what to say, but a sudden sharp tap on Veronica’s left shoulder made her jump and whip around, nearly backing right into Martha in the process (but thankfully she got out of the way). It was Duke, arms crossed, foot tapping, and posture oh-so-perfect.  
“Veronica! Heather wants you to haul ass to the table. _Pronto!”_ Duke’s voice raised an entire octave at the last word, and Veronica rolled her eyes.  
“How very.” She waved goodbye to Martha-- her only true friend-- and followed Duke, who carried herself almost as well as Chandler did-- and by god, was that saying something. Heather Chandler and Heather Macnamera stood next to each other near one of the tables, Chandler tapping her foot with her hands on her hips and Macnamera’s eyes-- soft and hazel-- smiling as her mouth did, giving a little peace sign as Veronica and Duke approached. Macnamera seemed to be the nicest one there-- she had never really insulted her ever since Veronica had joined the Heathers. Meanwhile, Duke bossed around Veronica nonstop, but Chandler bossed all three of them around-- like they were her slaves.  
“Veronica, I need a forgery in Ram Sweeney’s handwriting,” Chandler said, flipping her hair. “You’ll need something to write on-- Heather, bend over.”  
There’s a table right there, Veronica thought balefully, but sighed and took the pen and paper that Chandler was waving in her face and started writing, using Duke’s back as a writing surface.  
_“‘Hey, beautiful, I’ve been watching you and thinking about us in the old days,’”_ Chandler recited in a fake sing-song voice, and Veronica immediately felt dread bubble up in her chest. Macnamera and and Duke laughed, Macnamera’s laugh more soft and apprehensive while Duke’s was forced, barking, like a pained seal. _“‘I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend.’”_ Macnamera and Duke laughed again. _“‘I miss you. Ram.’_ Oh, and but an XO after the signature!” As soon as Veronica was done, she handed the note to Chandler and stood askew, tilting her head at Chandler in confusion, one hand shoved in the dull blue of her jacket.  
“Who’s this for, anyways?”  
Chandler gave a wicked smile. “I just found out that Ram used to hang with Martha Dumptruck.”  
Oh boy, the dread was back, tenfold, spilling over and burning her chest like lava pouring out of her lungs. Veronica sucked in a sharp breath. “Yyyyyeah, we all did in kindergarten. We all did.”  
Duke spoke up. “We all didn’t _kiss_ on the _kickball field!”_  
Macnamera gave a little gasp and clasped her hands together, bouncing, her hair traveling with her as she jumped a little. “Oh, that’s right! I remember Ram kissed Martha Dumptruck! It was disgusting!”  
Remember, Veronica said that Macnamera had never really insulted her.  
Chandler cackled like a witch. “Perfect!”  
Out of the corner of her eye, Veronica noticed Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney enter the cafeteria, whispering amongst themselves, and as they approached, Veronica could only just pick out what they were saying.  
“...be so righteous to be in the middle of a Veronica Sawyer-Heather Chandler sandwich.” Kurt said to Ram with a shit-eating grin on his face.  
“Hell yeah! Punch it in!” Ram said, and the two fist-bumped. Veronica wished she could fist-bump both of their faces.  
“Ram!” Chandler barked, and Ram walked over like an obedient dog. A very, very disrespectful and hormone-stuffed dog.  
“Be a sweetie and give this to Martha Dumptruck for me?” Chandler asked, fluttering her eyelashes and holding the note out between her index finger and middle finger. Ram looked at her. Veronica blanched.  
“What? No!” she said, more to herself than anything.  
“Since when do you talk to that lard-ass?” Ram asked, beginning to open it, but Chandler quickly grabbed Ram’s hand to stop him.  
“No! Don’t read it,” she commanded. “She’s having an extra-heavy flow and wanted some advice from my gyno.”  
Ram went white and his face twisted. “Ew!” Veronica grabbed the note as Ram stood, disgusted and dumbfounded, and Chandler made a noise.  
“What are you doing?” she hissed, and Veronica held the note close.  
“Please don’t do this. Not to Martha.” she begged, and Duke flipped her hair, seemingly egged on by some unknown force.  
“Why? It’ll give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks!” she sneered.  
“Shut up, Heather!” Chandler said sharply, and Duke jolted again before murmuring a ‘sorry, Heather,’ and rubbing the back of her neck like she’d just been struck.  
“Martha has had a thing for Ram for, like, twelve years now, this will kill her, Heather,” Veronica said urgently, shaking her head.  
Chandler’s eyes narrowed into judgemental slits as she glared at Veronica, hands on her hips.

  
_“Are we gonna have a problem?”_  
  
  
====  
  
_“It's just so universal_  
_Getting to try playing so many parts._  
_Most humans do one thing for all of their lives,_  
_The thought of that gives me hives!_  
_I've got so many interests I wanna pursue,_  
_And why am I telling this to you?_  
_Guess there's a part of me that wants to.”_  
  
Christine sighed and leaned back. God, Jeremy felt so alive! He was talking to Christine Canigula-- and Christine Canigula was talking back! There was a part of her that wanted to talk to him! _This was the greatest day of his sorry life!!!!_  
“Really?” Jeremy asked, hopeful.  
Christine nodded, eyes sparkling and mischievous. “There’s also a part of me that makes me want to do this!”  
What followed next was Christine Canigula making a noise akin to a goblin hallucinating that it was being set on fire while being attacked by several cats.  
“Uh.” Jeremy was speechless.  
  
_“Back to play rehearsal,_  
_My brain is like 'bzzz'_  
_My heart is like 'wow'_  
_Because we're here at play rehearsal,_  
_and it's starting,_  
_We're starting,_  
_It's starting, soon.”_  
  
“So where’s everyone else?” Jeremy asked, and Christine gave a sad shrug.  
“We’ve been slipping in membership lately. I guess it’s just the two of us—”  
Suddenly, a group of popular kids (Rich, Jake, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna) burst into the theatre in a flurry of noise, saying things like “Woo-hoo!” “Let’s start this party!” “Has this theater always been here?” et cetera, et cetera, as they all took a seat.  
Jeremy felt rather out of place. But still. He was sitting next to Christine Canigula!  
Mr. Reyes, the drama teacher, entered, hands full of scripts and various other papers.  
“Oh thank _god_ , the popular students have arrived,” Mr. Reyes sighed, before waving animatedly before setting the mass of papers down. “Hellooooo, everyone! My name is Mr. Reyes. You may recognize me from Drama Class, or my full-time job, at the Hobby Lobby.”  
The group of kids clapped pathetically. However, it seemed to make Mr. Reyes genuinely moved, almost to tears.  
“Thank you. I’ve been dreaming of the day I get to stage William Shakespeare’s classic ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’—”  
Christine interrupted with a loud ‘YES!’ that made Jeremy jolt.  
Mr. Reyes breathed in. “And today...that dream dies.”  
Christine started. “What?”  
And then Mr. Reyes threw his hands in the air in a flourish. “And is reborn!”  
Both Christine and Jeremy blinked at him.  
“Just... slightly mutated. The school has informed me that, unless I increase our popularity, our funds will be diverted. To the Frisbee Golf Team. Which is why our production will be set, not in a pastoral forest, but a post-apocalyptic future. Instead of frolicking with fairies, there will be fleeing. From zombies.” Mr. Reyes shrugged as he finished the last sentence. Christine looked personally offended.  
“Don’t you care about Shakespeare?!” Christine asked, crossing her arms.  
“The man is dead. Let it go.” Mr. Reyes shrugged (again) “We will now take a five-minute break so I can eat a Hot Pocket.” The popular kids followed Mr. Reyes out of the drama room, cheering (“Theatre is easy, yo!” as well as Mr. Reyes asking Brooke what the deal with Jake and Madeline is). Jake, however, hung back to talk to Christine.  
“Hey. You were in that play last year.” he said, suddenly sitting down next to her and looking at her earnestly. Jeremy eyed him from behind his script. Oh god. Oh god. Nononononono.  
“You mean Romeo & Juliet?”  
“Yeah, you were that girl who died!” Jake responded, equally as earnest as before, though slightly foggy from jock-stupidity. Or just general stupidity. In fact, he probably just didn’t know a lot about theatre, and now Jeremy was thinking mean things out of jealousy. Jeremy Heere, you stop that right this instant.  
“You mean Juliet?”  
“Yeah! That was depressing.”  
“Thanks…”  
“But...you were good. I’m Jake.”  
“I...know.” Christine looked vaguely confused and kind of flustered. Jeremy was pretty much pressing his face against the script at this point.  
“Cool…” Jake said, then he looked very dejected. “Can I say something stupid? When I saw you die in the play last year… That was like the saddest I’d felt in a long time. It was like everything in my life, all the pressure I feel to be the best, at everything, all the time... Suddenly felt so small.” Jake sighed, vaguely bear-like. “And then, when you got up at the end for your victory dance…”  
“Bow. It’s called a bow.”  
“Right! I remember thinking, ‘I’m glad that girl’s not dead...before I ever got the chance to know her.’ Stupid, right?” Jake scratched the back of his head, shrugging.  
“That’s... not stupid at all.” Christine said, blushing. She smiled at him, still flustered.  
“Cool. Hey, a bunch of us are going out after practice today. You should join. ‘Parting is such sweet’...”  
“Sorrow?” Christine finished for him. Jeremy bobbed his head noncommitally.  
“Whatever.” He walked past Jeremy, and stopped when he noticed Jeremy’s backpack.  
“Hey, dude, someone wrote ‘BOYF’ on your backpack.”  
Jeremy winced. Shit, he’d forgotten to wash that off!  
As soon as Jake was far away enough, Jeremy immediately tried to talk to Christine again, but she was distracted (with good reason, Jake was smooth, not that Jeremy liked it).  
“Uh… do you know humans have stopped evolving?”  
Beat.  
Christine looked at him. “Sorry, Jeremy, did you say something?” Jeremy wilted, and only wilted more when Christine smiled at Jake from across the room.  
  
====  
  
_“You can fly with eagles, or if you prefer-- keep on testing me, and end up like her!”_

  
Veronica watched the Heathers go on in their tirade, Veronica being very tired and stressed and worried. The sudden prescence of Martha beside her snapped her back to attention-- she looked so excited, and she was clutching the fake note like it was a precious treasure.  
“Veronica! Ram invited me to his homecoming party! See-- I told you there was still something there! This proves he’s been thinking about me!” Martha’s eyes were sparkling, and the sheer amount of guilt that was pressing down on Veronica was indescribable. The Heathers’s eyes were boring into the back of her skull.  
“Colour me stoked.” She felt horrible. Martha beamed.  
“I’m so happy!” she squealed, before running off.  
  
_“Honey, what’chu waiting fo--”_  
  
Chandler pushed Duke on the floor. Duke jolted again.

  
_**“Shut up, Heather!**_  
_“Welcome to my candy store!_  
_Time for you to prove that you’re not a lame-ass anymore!_  
_Then step into my candy store_  
_It’s my candy store_  
_It’s my candy_  
_It’s my candy store_  
_It’s my candy_  
_It’s my candy store!”_  
  
The bell rang and the Heathers, the unholy trinity of bitches, turned tail and walked away to their own respective classes (or to go shopping, who knew).  
“You shouldn't have bowed down to the swatch dogs and the diet coke heads. They're gonna crush that girl,” someone said, and Veronica looked over and saw some emo-looking kid in a black trenchcoat holding a slurpee, his free hand resting in his jacket pocket. He had such heavy bags under his eyes that it looked like he used makeup to make them more intense, and his eyes were ice blue and cutting.  
“I’m sorry, what?” Veronica asked, voice flat.  
“You've clearly got a soul, you just need to work hard keeping it clean.” The guy shrugged. _“'We are all born marked for evil.'”_ He moved to leave, tossing the empty slurpee cup in a trashcan.  
“Okay, don’t just quote Baudelaire at me and then walk away. I didn’t even catch your name.”  
The guy turned just enough for Veronica to see part of his face, and from what she could see there was a ghost of a grin on his face.  
“...I didn’t throw it.”  
Veronica stood, mouth agape.  
  
====  
  
Jeremy was busy trying to scrub ‘BOYF’ off of his backpack, when-- just his luck-- Rich, all 5’5 of him, strolled in like he owned the place. When he noticed what Jeremy was doing, he grit his teeth.  
“I told you not to wash that off.”  
Jeremy ignored him and zipped the backpack open, rifling through the papers.  
“Where’s my homework…?” he mumbled to himself.  
“I’m talking to you, tall-ass!” Rich barked, walking up to Jeremy and poking him squarely in the chest.  
“Why do you keep calling me that? I’m not even that tall!” Jeremy protesting, and Rich rolled his eyes and headed to a urinal.  
“You could be, if you weren’t hunched over all scared all the time. The only thing more pathetic is the way you’re sneaking off to a stall to get away from me.”  
Jeremy was trying to do just that. He stopped, busted.  
“Stall’s for girls. You a girl, Jeremy?” Rich taunted, turning his head to look at Jeremy, lax but still threatening.  
Jeremy started. “How can you do that when you’re-- y’know…”  
Rich laughed. “Confidence.”  
“You-- you might wanna… watch the floor…” Jeremy said slowly-- and as he spoke, Rich started to twitch, as if he was receiving a message from beyond. He started muttering to himself under his breath, and by god was it creepy.  
“Uh-- I just remembered I don’t have to pee after all--”  
_“Don’t. Move.”_ Rich hissed, voice unnatural and monstrous. Jeremy froze as Rich slowly zipped up before turning to face Jeremy, a shadow across his face as he got all up in Jeremy’s personal space.  
“You don’t remember me freshman year, do you?” Rich asked, and Jeremy babbled for a few seconds before answering.  
“You-- you didn’t go here freshman year--”  
Out of nowhere, Rich punched the wall, like a thing possessed, eyes wide. Jeremy yelped and pressed against the wall, terrified.  
_**“I DID!** _ You just didn’t notice! _Nobody did!”_  
  
_“Freshman year / I didn’t have a girlfriend or a clue_  
_Good times would only / soar by_  
_I was gross / as every female would attest_  
_My sexting was a futile quest / my little penis was depressed_  
_It was so lonely / poor guy!”_  
  
At the last sentence, Rich laughed, crossing his arms and looking up at Jeremy with a crooked grin.  
  
_“I was hopeless, hopeless / I was helpless, helpless_  
_Everytime I’d walk the hallway I would trip_  
_I was so stagnant and idle / I was so suicidal_  
_And then / then, then / then, then / then, then / then, then / then, then_  
_I got a squip.”_  
  
Jeremy blinked. “You got quick?”  
Rich shook his head. “Not quick. _Squip.”_ Which only prompted Jeremy to chuckle nervously,  
“I’ve just never heard of it before.”  
“That’s the point!” Rich hissed, and Jeremy flinched. “This is some top-secret, can’t-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet shit!”  
  
_“It’s from Japan._  
_It’s a grey oblong pill-- Quantum Nanotechnology CPU._  
_The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until_  
_it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do.”_  
  
“What?” Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. “That’s not even possible.”  
Rich’s expression darkened and he shoved Jeremy against the wall roughly. _“Shut up, tall-ass!”_  
A beat.  
Rich’s expression went blank after he realized what he was doing and let Jeremy go, leaving him on the floor, absolutely terrified.  
“Sorry, old habits,” Rich apologized, scratching the back of his head. “Look, I apologize for treating you like human garbage all the time. I only did it ‘cause my squip said I had to. But-- now it’s saying you’re not a bad guy. That you might want a squip of your own-- a lot of all the ‘cool kids’--” he used finger quotes saying _‘cool kids’_ \-- “-- have a squip of their own. You know Heather Duke? She’s got one.”  
“What? Really?” Jeremy knew nothing about Heather Duke other than her name and that she liked green and that Heather Chandler told her to shut up a lot.  
“Yeah! How else do you think she got so popular between high school and middle school? God, she was friends with Martha Dumptruck, for chrissake. She was a loser.”  
Jeremy shuffled awkwardly.  
“But the squip-- it helps you! Makes you cooler! ‘Course, if you’re not interested…” Rich looked off to the side, still smiling.  
“So, it’s like…” Jeremy dropped his voice to a whisper. “...drugs?” This prompted Rich to chuckle.  
“It’s better than drugs, Jeremy.”  
  
**_“IT’S FROM JAPAN!_**  
_It’s a gray oblong pill-- Quantum Nanotechnology CPU!_  
_The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until_  
_it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do!_  
_It’s preprogrammed / It’s amazing / It speaks to you directly_  
_You behave as / it’s appraising / It helps you act correctly_  
_Helps you to be cool / It helps you rule!”_  
  
Out of nowhere, Rich slid to stand beside Jeremy, putting a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder and holding his hand out with a flourish, Jeremy about ready to bolt, but very very interested.  
  
_“Picture this-- nobody cares if you are late, because even teachers think you’re great_  
_Your weekend’s just a full-on slate of blowout benders, of teenage rockstar splendors!_  
_Right now you’re helpless, helpless / you’re almost hopeless_  
_On the school social map you’re just a blip!_  
_But if you take my advice and if you pay the listed price_  
_Well, then you go from sad to interesting to hip_  
_Yeah, your whole LIFE will flip!_  
_When you buy a squip!”_  
  
Rich grinned. “I got a hook-up, this guy works at Payless in the Menlo Park Mall. It’s six hundred.”  
Jeremy started. _“Dollars?”_  
Rich nodded. “It’s worth it. Bring the money on Monday. You’ll see.” He moved to leave.  
“Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?”  
Rich stopped.  
He laughed. “Aw man, Jeremy, you know what’cha need?”  
  
_“A squip / A squip / A squip_  
_No longer a drip / When you got in your grip / A squip!”_  
  
And then Rich finally left, leaving Jeremy dumbfounded, amazed, and slightly revolted at Rich’s lack of hygiene.  
  
====  
  
The edgy guy in the trenchcoat moved to leave, leaving Veronica just as dumbfounded as Jeremy (though she had no way of knowing that). Behind her, she could hear Kurt and Ram mumbling to each other.  
“Who does that guy in the jacket think he is anyway? Bo Diddley?” Kurt grumbled.  
Ram scoffed. “Veronica’s into his act, no doubt,” he responded, which made Kurt start and pump his fists.  
“Let’s kick his ass!” he shouted, before Ram put a hand on his shoulder. “Nah, man, we’re seniors-- we’re too old for that shit.”  
Unfortunately, Kurt seemed to ignore Ram, and strolled right up to Trenchcoat as Veronica looked on.  
“Hey, sweetheart!” Kurt taunted. “What did your _boyfriend_ say when you told him you were moving here?”  
Trenchcoat was silent. Ram walked up behind him and smacked the back of Trenchcoat’s head, which prompted no response.  
“My buddy Kurt just asked you a question.”  
Kurt sneered. “Doesn’t the cafeteria have a no-gays allowed rule?”  
Veronica rolled her eyes-- but stopped when Trenchcoat finally said something. Trenchcoat laughed, putting his hands in his pockets.  
“They seem to have an open door policy for assholes, though.”  
Everyone in ear shot that was not Kurt or Ram let out a low _‘oooooh,’_ and Kurt and Ram flushed and their expressions darkened in embarrassment.  
“Hold his arms!” Kurt called out, and Ram moved to do so-- but when Kurt moved to punch him, Trenchcoat broke free and dodges the attack. At this point, pretty much the whole school was watching, except for Veronica, who was writing in her journal.  
  
====  
  
“Jeremy!” someone called, and Jeremy, now standing in the hallway, turned and spotted Michael, out of breath and frantic.  
“Geez, Michael, where’s the fire? Are you okay?” Jeremy tilted his head. Michael nodded.  
“You know-- you kn-- you know Kurt-- you know Kurt and Ram?” Michael wheezed, and Jeremy nodded.  
“What about ‘em?”  
“They’re fighting some edgelord in black in the cafeteria, and the edgelord is absolutely _destroying_ them! It’s like Street Fighter out there, man, you gotta see this shit!”  
Jeremy stood, agape, and shouted a ‘what are we waiting for?!’ and they both started running to the cafeteria.  
  
====  
  
_Why, when you see boys fight, does it look so horrible, yet… feel so right?_  
_I shouldn’t watch this crap, that’s not who I am, but with this kid… damn._  
  
====  
  
“Oh my god! Who is that?” Jeremy half-yelled, skidding to a stop in front of the cafeteria doors. Kurt and Ram were currently having the garbage beaten out of them by a kid in a black trenchcoat as Veronica Sawyer (noted Heather) watched in awe and amazement (not in horror, weirdly enough).  
“Jer, y-- your-- your guess is as-- as good as mine,” Michael stammered, completely out of breath from running down the school from the cafeteria and back again.  
  
====  
  
_Hey, Mister No-Name-Kid, so who might you be?_  
_And could you fight for me?_  
_And hey; would you face the crowd? Could you be seen with me and still act proud?_  
_Hey, could you hold my hand? And could you carry me through no-man’s land?_  
_It’s fine, if you don’t agree-- but I would fight for you if you would fight for me._  
  
Trenchcoat sent a left-hook at Ram’s face, and it collided.  
  
_Let them drive us underground, I don’t care how far._  
_You can set my broken bones, and I know… CPR._  
  
Ram was now on the floor while Trenchcoat was focusing on Kurt.  
  
_And, well, whoa-- you can punch real good!_  
_You’ve lasted longer than I thought you would! So, hey,_  
_Mister No-Name-Kid, if some night you’re free…_  
_wanna fight for me?_  
_If you’re still alive?_  
_I would fight for you… if you would fight for me._  
  
Various kids muttered out ‘holy shit’s’ (as did Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell, though Veronica didn’t know them and had no way of knowing that) as Trenchcoat sent Kurt scattering to the floor with a well-placed jab to the stomach. There was commotion, and, just as quickly as he had appeared, Trenchcoat disappeared amongst the crowd, leaving Kurt and Ram to nurse their wounds as the group of kids dissolved, spreading out like a fan of pubescent teenagers.  
“Aw, man, that really sucked,” Kurt wheezed, holding his stomach.  
“That kid fights better than the real Bo Diddley!” Ram yelled, rubbing his face. Isn’t he dead? was what Veronica was thinking.  
“Dude, dude,” Kurt said as he and Ram slowly got to their feet, “Have you ever seen Enter the Dragon? Bo Diddley fights with his shirt off and-- and he’s pretty ripped for a, oriental dude.”  
“Gay!”  
“Shut up!”  
“Ram’s eating Chinese tonight!” Ram whooped as the two left the cafeteria, leaving Veronica all by herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my tumblr! i draw sometimes!
> 
> http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com  
> http://deoxys-art.tumblr.com
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated


	3. It's a Two-Player Game, So Just Freeze Your Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeremy and veronica finally talk to each other in this chapter!! and the squip and JD are properly introduced too!!  
> which is why this chapter is even longer  
> uvu  
> also it formatted weird but whatever lol

“Apocalypse of the Damned!”

“Level 9!”

“The Cafetorium!”

Michael and Jeremy, practically sinking into two old bean-bags, leaned forward, closer to the screen, that of which sported a split-screen video game of two low-polygon renders of what appeared to be average men in grey holding two pistols, respectively, as wall as several equally-low polygon renders of zombies creeping towards them.

 

_ Find the bad guy / push him aside / Then move on forward with a friend at your side! _

_ It’s a two-player game / So when they make an attack _

_ You know ya gotta brother gotta have ya back! _

_ Then you stay on track, and-- Ah!-- remain on course _

_ If they give ya smack ya -- GAH! -- use your force _

_ And if you leave your brother behind it’s lame _

_ ‘Cause it’s an effed-up world and it’s a two-player game! _

 

The two let out a groan as  _ ‘GAME OVER: ZOMBIES RULE THE EARTH’ _ flashed on screen. Jeremy looked over at his best friend, controller held loosely in his hand.

“So? What do you think?”

“He’s scamming you,” Michael said matter-of-factly. “He’s scamming you super weirdly.”

Jeremy leaned forward. “What if he’s not? This could be  _ huge! _ All I need to do is give the guy who torments me six… hundred…” He trailed off, burying his head in his hands. “He’s totally scamming me. I’m doomed to be a loser ‘til the end of the world-- no, probably then, too.”

Michael opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then shook his head. “Dude, no way!”

 

_ “Dude, you are cooler than a vintage cassette! _

_ It’s just that no one else but me thinks that yet! _

_ You’re just a nothing in the high school scheme _

_ But it’s no big-- ‘cuz you and I are a team! _

 

_ We like out-of-print games / retro skates / I got a Pac-man tattoo _

_ Nobody here appreciates / But soon we’ll be together where they do! _

 

_ Because guys like us are cool in college / cool in college / This I know _

_ Guys like us are cool in college / we rule in college / Listen, bro.” _

 

Michael leaned over and pulled Jeremy and the beanbag closer until the beanbags were touching, and Michael hugged him.

_ “High school is hell / But we navigate it well _

_ ‘Cuz what we do / Is we make it a two-player game!” _

 

Jeremy sighed into the fabric of Michael’s hoodie, breathing in the smell of fabric softener and licorice.

_ “As losers we have fought together for years _

_ Both Nintendo zombies and our popular peers _

_ Now we’re stuck on a level and I want to move on.” _

 

Michael shuffled over and rested his head on the top of Jeremy’s. They sat there like that for a little while.

_ “Just wait two years whereupon _

_ You’ll realize guys like us are--” _

 

_ “Cool in college / Cool in college / won’t be lame!” _

 

“Dude, I know, I get it.” Jeremy’s voice was muffled by the fabric.

_ “Guys like us are cool in college!” _

_ “But we’re not in college.” _

_ “All the same! _

_ High school is whack / but we have each other’s back! _

_ It’s me and you!” _

 

They pulled away from the hug and Michael punched the start button.

 

_ “We’ve made it a two player game!” _

 

_ “Agh! _

_ Oh! _

_ Zombie!” _

 

There was knocking on the door. “Hello?”

 

_ “Blood!” _

 

“Son?”

 

_ “Claws!” _

 

“Jeremy!”

 

_ “Pause.” _

 

The door opened and in came Jeremy’s father.

_ “Gah! Dad!  _ Pants!” Jeremy screamed, staring at his-- indeed pantsless-- father.

“Is that a girl? Are you in here with a girl?” his father asked, but then his eyes laid on Michael, who could only look him in the eyes and was trying to avoid thinking about the obvious.

“I was going to order pizza. If there’s something you boys want--”

Jeremy cut in. “Did you get dressed today? Like, at all?”

His father paused. “Oh… they didn’t need me at the office. So. I worked from home.”

“Most people wear pants at home, dad.”

“That’s why most people… aren’t your father.” A beat. “Good talk.” He closed the door, leaving Jeremy and Michael in an awkward moment.

“How’s he doing?” Michael asked, and Jeremy rested his head on Michael’s shoulder.

“How does it look?” Jeremy said dryly, and Michael gave him an empathetic look.

“You heard from her yet?”

“No.” Jeremy let out a breath. “And who cares? It’s like-- Mom moved on, why can’t he?”

“Hey--” Michael started, but Jeremy sat up suddenly, jostling Michael in the process.

“I don’t want that to be my future!” Jeremy shouted, looking like he just had a serious epiphany. “Rich said his hook-up’s at the Payless, what if we go there ourselves? Just to see if his story checks out?”

Michael sat up next to him. “And if it does? Will you be too cool for… video games?”

Jeremy laughed and shook his head. “No way.

_ “You know you are my favourite person _

_ That doesn’t mean I can’t still dream.” _

 

Michael batted his eyelashes and did an exaggerated pout.

 

_ “Is it really true I’m your faaavouwite personnn?” _

 

Jeremy punched his shoulder.

_ “We’re never not going to be a team.” _

 

_ ==== _

 

The Heathers (plus Veronica) stood in the Sawyers’s backyard, each of them holding croquet mallets. Veronica had noticed this a while back, but it was easy to tell what kind of a person you were by the way your posture was. Chandler stood askew, leaning her weight on one leg and her free hand rested on her hip, radiating  bitchiness coolness and confidence. Macnamera had average posture and often her head was tilted to the side, giving off a more innocent and doe-eyed vibe. Duke, meanwhile, had posture like her spine was an iron rod, chest puffed and shoulders set back-- Veronica had never once seen her slouch.

Anyways, they were playing croquet, and of course Chandler was bitching about the way Veronica reacted to Mr. Trenchcoat back at school that day.

“God, Veronica, drool much?” she drawled, and Veronica bit back the urge to make Chandler’s face meet the end of her croquet mallet. “You were totally throwing your panties at the new kid.” Macnamera and Duke laughed at that. Cronies. “And, uh...judging by your house, you can’t afford replacement panties.”

Veronica glanced at her house-- over on the porch, her father was reading some spy novel and her mother was sipping a glass of lemonade. Yeah, her house wasn’t a mansion like Chandler’s, but she just had high standards, Veronica guessed. Or she was just trying to be cutting.

“Come on, I don’t even know his name,” Veronica protested. As she spoke, Chandler hit her croquet ball and it rolled over to where Veronica’s parents were sitting. Mrs. Sawyer stood and picked the ball up, holding a silver (though it was plastic) tray with some liverwurst on it. She handed the ball to Chandler, who took it, expression indeterminate.

“Here you go, girls. Care for some pate?” Mrs. Sawyer offered the tray to Chandler, who looked at it.

“That’s not pate. That’s liverwurst.”

Mrs. Sawyer didn’t stop smiling. “I’m-- aware of that, Heather. It’s a family joke.”

“Oh… funny.” Chandler gave Mrs. Sawyer a fake smile.

“Will someone please tell me why I read this spy crap?” Mr. Sawyer said, grumbling to himself, and Veronica shrugged.

“Because you’re an idiot, dad.” 

“Oh, yeah, that’s why.” The Sawyers all laughed as the Heathers looked on.

“So, honey-- got any big plans for tonight?” Mrs. Sawyer asked, holding the tray with two hands. Veronica nodded.

“Um, yeah, there’s a big homecoming party at Ram Sweeney's house tonight. I'm gonna catch a ride with Heather.”

“Speaking of which--” Chandler then-- deliberately-- placed the croquet ball on the tray, ‘accidentally’ in the liverwurst. “--oh, oops!” She gave Mrs. Sawyer a fake look of apology and walked over to Veronica and the Heathers.

“C’mon. Let’s go. Veronica, be ready when I come to pick you up, okay, boo?” Chandler stuck her tongue out and winked, and Veronica bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. Macnamera giving a little wave, the Heathers all left, the Sawyers waving back. After they left, Mrs. Sawyer put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, and Veronica turned to face her. Mrs. Sawyer looked solemn.

“Don’t let these popular girls change you.”

“I need them,” was Veronica’s reply, short and curt.

“What for?” Mrs. Sawyer asked, stepping back and crossing her arms loosely. “You have other friends. You have Martha.”

Veronica sucked in a breath. “Maybe,” she started, tone ruder than she intended, “I want more out of life than liverwurst, mom.” She walked inside, past her shocked parents.

 

====

 

Jeremy and Michael stood outside of the Payless Shoes. In Jeremy’s pocket, burning a hole, was six hundred dollars. He was wringing his hands.

“You’re really going to do this?” Michael asked, looking at him.

“I just-- I want to try it. I want to see if it works.”

Michael made a noise of complacence and Jeremy brought up all his courage and walked right into the Payless. A scary-looking stockboy was busy putting some shoes on the rack at the very back of the store, and Michael gently pushed Jeremy towards him. The stockboy ignored them both.

“Uh… I like your sideburns.” Jeremy said, and the stockboy didn’t even look at him. “W… Wolverine, right?”

“Let’s see the money.” the stockboy said, voice low. Jeremy blinked seven times in the span of two seconds before talking.

“What?”

The stockboy looked at him.

_ “It’s from Japan. It’s a grey oblong pill-- Quantum Nanotechnology CPU. _

_ The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do.” _

Jeremy’s mouth hung open. “How-- how did you know why I was here?”

The stockboy snickered to himself. “Just look at’cha, kid.” He stood there for a second with an expectant expression until Jeremy realized what he wanted and pulled out the stack of money.

“That’s four hundred?”

“Four?” Jeremy looked up.

The stockboy gave him a look. “Is that a problem?”

“No! Well-- actually there’s this guy at my school who’s charging…”

Michael made a noise that sounded like ‘don’t tell him’ and Jeremy realized what he was doing.

“Uh. Four hundred? Well, if you insist,” Jeremy said, handing him four hundred dollars. The stockboy pulled out a shoebox.

“Ladies running shoes?”

The stockboy ignored Jeremy and pulled out a gray, oblong pill.

“Just so we're clear: this is untested technology.” the stockboy told him. “And it's not exactly legal. Which is why you're paying for it with cash in the back of a shoe store. I take no responsibility for what you might do with it. Or what it might do with you.”

Jeremy felt himself start to sweat. “What might it---”

“To activate, take it with Mountain Dew. Don't know why. Just something about Mountain Dew. And, this is important—”

Suddenly, the presence of another walked into the store, and the stockboy looked over-- it was Jenna.

“I’m sold out!” he barked, and Jenna blinked at him.  
“Of… shoes?”

“Oh, you’re here for shoes. My bad.” The stockboy turned to Jeremy. “Scram, kid.”

“Wait, you were saying something important--”

“Oh, yeah. All sales final.” The stockboy walked away from Jeremy and up to Jenna. “Sorry about that. Anyways, we just got this killer pair of pumps…”

Michael and Jeremy looked at each other before deciding to leave the store.

A few minutes later, Michael and Jeremy sat in the mall food court, nachos and chili fries between them, Jeremy poring over the pill like it was some sort of artefact or a jewel.

“I hope you’re worth four hundred dollars,” he said to it.

“Four hundred and one,” Michael corrected him, taking a chip. “Don’t forget the Mountain Dew.”

“If this is real… my whole life could change.” A beat. “We should split it. You helped me get it. We should both benefit, right?”

Michael laughed. “I don’t think it works that way, bro. Besides, I like knowing that when you’re cool, you’ll owe me.”

Finally, Jeremy took in a breath and took one last look at the pill. “Alright. Here goes… everything.” He put the pill on his tongue, and took one long swig of the Mountain Dew.

“How’s it taste?”

“Minty.”

“How do you feel?”

“Like…” There was a pause. “A chump.”

Michael stared. “Nothing? At all? Try to say something cool.”

Jeremy sighed. “I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a wintergreen Tic-Tac.”

“Yeah… not cool, then.” Michael patted him on the shoulder.

“Please leave me alone to mourn in my chili fries forever.” Jeremy felt terrible. Four hundred (and one) dollars for a Tic-Tac.

A beat.

“Five minutes.” Michael said.

“Where are you going?” Jeremy asked, not looking up from his chili fries.

“Guy in Spencer’s Gifts is hooking me up with a case of Crystal Pepsi. It’s like regular Pepsi. Only clear.” Michael gave him a thumbs up.

“Wasn’t that discontinued in the 90’s?”

Michael grinned. “That’s what makes it so awesome.” He left, leaving Jeremy to wallow in regret with chili fries as his only solace. Just then, a familiar voice finally made him look up from his chili fries, and he sucked in a breath, gasping as he saw Christine and Jake walk into the food court, chatting. Christine looked concerned.

“Shouldn’t we be waiting for the rest of the cast?” she was asking, and Jake just shrugged.

“Yeahhh... We’re not meeting the rest of the cast. I figured we could get to know each other.” He smiled. Jeremy felt jealousy and envy bubble up in his throat (though maybe that was the pill, maybe the guy in the Payless just really wanted to fuck him over by poisoning him or something). “Alone. That’s why I’m taking you to one of my favorite spots in the universe. Sbarro—”

“Christine!” Jeremy said finally. The two looked over, and Christine’s face lit up. Jake’s did not.

“Jeremy? I didn’t see you there!”

“Yeah, well, you’re pretty hard to notice.” There was disdain ghosting Jake’s tone, and the jealousy Jeremy felt was doubled with shame, even from an off-hand comment like that. God, he had low self-esteem. He turned back to Christine. “Anyways, the best part is that they let you pick whatever you w---”

“Wait!” Jeremy said. What was he doing? What was he _ doing? _ He stood and walked around the table.

“Now?” Jake scowled at him. Jeremy didn’t know what he was doing.  _ Say something, dude, anything, don’t let Jake take Christine!  _

“I… I---”

Before he could say anything else, however, there was a sudden sharp pain in his head that made him step back with a yelp, gripping the edge of the table.

_ [Target female: inaccessible.] _

“Jeremy?” Christine asked, stepping forward and putting a hand on his shoulder, eyes full of worry.

_ “GAH--!  _ What the  _ hell?!” _ The pain was sharp, stabbing, like someone was putting a million different tiny knives into his brain. 

_ [Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort.] _

“MILD?!” Jeremy said, holding his head. Christine stepped back, worry deepening in her face.

“Jeremy, what’s wrong?!”

“Dude, the freak’s freakin’ out!” Jake said, trying not to laugh.

_ [Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated.] _

And then… it was over, just as quickly as it had started. Jeremy sucked in a breath and steadied himself.

“...I’m fine. I just--”

_ [Discomfort level may increase.] _

And then Jeremy was wracked with the most intense pain he had ever felt in his life, gripping his head as his body involuntarily spasmed in pain.

_ [Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete.] _

He was on the verge of screaming, it felt like he was burning, like he was dying, he was dying, dying, dying dying

and then it was over, and Christine and Jake were gone, and standing in front of him was a young man(?) in a long dark coat, well dressed, oozing cool.

_ [Jeremy Heere… ] _

_ [Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.... Your SQUIP.] _

 

_ ==== _

 

“And don’t forget the corn nuts!” Chandler reminded Veronica, almost scowling but not quite. “It’s not a party without the corn nuts!”

Veronica let out a sigh and nodded. “Regular or BQ?”

“BQ!”

Veronica walked away from Chandler’s bright red jeep, shiny and perfect, before pushing the door open to the 7-11, a cheerful jingle of bells introducing her appearance into the convenience store. She poked around for a little bit until she found the corn nuts on a little spinning rack, thumbing through them to find the BQ ones, until she heard the door jingle again. She glanced over-- and did a double-take.

Trenchcoat.

She tried not to stare-- but ended up staring anyways, but when Trenchcoat looked over, she immediately looked away and busied herself with the corn nuts. She finally found the BQ ones, and grabbed them, but when she stood up straight, there stood Trenchcoat, who was looking at her and a couple feet closer.

“Greetings and salutations. You want a slurpee with that?” Trenchcoat asked, and Veronica let out a laugh.

“No, but if you’re nice, I’ll like you buy me a Big Gulp.”

Trenchcoat furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s like going to Mickey D’s to order a salad. The slurpee is the signature dish of the house!” He stepped towards the slushie machine next to Veronica and pulled a cup out of the stack. “Did you say cherry or lime?”

Veronica smirked-- or tried to-- at him. “I said Big Gulp.” A beat. “I’m Veronica, by the way.”

Trenchcoat smirked back. “I’ll end the suspense-- I’m Jason Dean. JD for short.”

“Well, JD, that thing you pulled in the ‘caf was pretty severe.”

JD shrugged. “The extreme always seems to make an impression.”

_ This guy always talks like he’s quoting something,  _ Veronica thought absentmindedly as JD filled the slurpee cup with cherry slush.

“Anyways, what’s a Baudelaire-quoting badass like you doing, going to somewhere like Westerborough?”

“My dad’s work. He’s in deconstruction.”

_ “De _ construction?”

“Yeah, the old man seems to enjoy tearing things down. You've seen the commerical? ‘My name’s Big Bud Dean, and if it's in the way, I'll make your day.’” he said jokingly, doing the motion one would do when committing fellatio-- and Veronica laughed. Crude.

“Oh yeah, and then he pushes the plunger and the screen blows up.” She laughed again, then realized her mistake. “Oh, that’s your dad?”

“In all his toxic glory.”

“Yeah, well, everybody’s life has got static.” As Veronica finished her sentence, the loud noise of Chandler’s car horn going off and Chandler screaming Veronica’s name rang off, and Veronica groaned.

“For example, I don’t really like my friends.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t really like your friends either,” JD told her, and Veronica snorted. “C’mon, bag the party, hang out here.”

 

“‘Bag’?” Veronica repeated, snorting again. “Ah, the 7-11. Swanky first date.”

“Come on, I love this place.”

“Uh, no offense, but why?” Veronica asked, and JD stared into the slurpee cup.

 

_ “I’ve been through ten high schools / They start to get blurry _

_ No point planting roots, ‘cause you’re gone in a hurry _

_ My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den / So it’s only a matter of when _

 

_ I don’t learn the names / Don’t bother with faces _

_ All I can trust is this concrete oasis _

_ Seems every time I’m about to despair / There’s a 7-11 right there _

 

_ Each store is the same / From Las Vegas to Boston _

_ Linoleum aisles that I love to get lost in _

_ I pray at my altar of slush / Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush…” _

JD took a long, long gulp of the slurpee-- long enough for a serious brain freeze. And get a brain freeze he did, grimacing and stepping back, holding his head. Then he straightened.

 

_ “Freeze your brain / Suck on that straw / Get lost in the pain _

_ Happiness comes / When everything numbs / Who needs cocaine? _

_ Just freeze your brain…” _

 

“Care for a hit?” JD held out the cup.

Veronica crossed her arms and smiled at JD. “Does your  _ mommy  _ know you drink all that crap?”

JD laughed. “Not anymore!”

_ “When mom was alive--” _

 

(Veronica cringed. Oh, god, why did she say that?)

 

_ “--we lived halfway normal. _

_ Now it’s just me and my dad / We’re less formal _

_ I learned to cook pasta / I learned to pay rent / Learned the world doesn’t owe you a cent _

 

_ You’re planning your future / Veronica Sawyer _

_ You’ll go to some college and marry a lawyer _

_ But the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls / So you’d better start building some walls! _

 

_ Freeze your brain / Swim in the ice / Get lost in the pain _

_ Shut your eyes tight / Until you vanish from sight / Let nothing remain _

 

_ Freeze your brain / Shatter your skull / Fight pain with more pain _

_ Forget who you are / Unburden your load _

_ Forget in six weeks you’ll be back on the road _

 

_ When the voice in your head says ‘you’re better off dead,’ _

_ Don’t open a vein / Just freeze your brain.” _

“Try it.”

Veronica took the cup (kind of concerned about JD’s mental well-being) and took a long gulp down, bracing herself-- but, nothing.

“Yeah, I don’t really see what the big deal is--” Then it hit, a searing pain hitting her head and she flapped her free hand and her posture went stilted as pain throbbed. “Oh,  _ son of a bitch!” _

====

 

There was a shocked beat as Jeremy steadied himself and he looked at the Squip directly.

“...You look like Keanu Reeves,” he said finally, and the Squip just gave him a small smile.

_ [My default mode. You can also set me for: _

_ -Sean Connery _

_ -Jack Nicholson _

_ -Sexy anime female] _

“K… Keanu’s fine. Can everyone see you?”

_ [I exist only in your mind. All they see is you, having an animated conversation, with yourself. So don’t do that. Just think at me. Like you’re telepathic.] _

_ Like in X-Men?  _ Jeremy thought, and the Squip nodded, but with a grimace on their face.

_ [I can see this is going to be difficult.] _

That was rude.

_ [It’s the truth. You want to be more chill, right?] _

_ You mean cool?  _ Jeremy thought, sliding back into his seat. The Squip slid into the seat next to him-- not moving it, of course, given they were basically a controlled hallucination. The way the Squip sat radiated cool, and Jeremy couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy, just from the way they sat.

_ [I do not. You see, human social activity is governed by rules and I have the processing capacity to understand those rules. And pass them on to you. Come on, stand up.] _

Jeremy did so, and the Squip gestured for him to come closer. There was nobody in the food court except for some old guy, so he didn’t really care about how weird he looked.

_ [You shouldn’t. That guy’s on death’s door.] _

_ Can we stop talking about the old guy? _

_ [Yes, we are going to stop, because you need help.] _

 

_ [Take your hands out of your pockets / Arch your back, puff out your chest] _

_ [Add some swagger to your gate or / You’ll look like a masturbator] _

_ [Fix your posture, then the rest.] _

 

_ But I  _ am  _ a masturbator. _

_ [We’ll fix that.] _

 

_ [All your nerdiness is ugly--] _

 

_ What? I thought it was more of a geek-- _

_ [All your s-s-stammering’s a chore.] _

 

_ What?!  _ The Squip was walking in orbit around Jeremy as he walked out of the food court, hands at their sides, and by god did they look cool--

_ [Chill.] _

Right. Chill.

 

_ [Your tics and fidgets are persistent / And your charm is nonexistent] _

_ [Let’s fix your vibe, then fix some more.] _

 

The Squip shot Jeremy a look, Jeremy trying to shove his hands in his pockets. He flinched.

_ [Buh--] _

_ Wha--? _

_ [Buh--] _

_ But-- _

_ [No!] _

_ I-- _

_ [Stop.] _

 

_ [Oh, everything about you is so terrible!]  _

The Squip threw their hands in the air and sighed.

_ [Everything about you makes me wanna die.] _

_ Jesus Christ.  _ Jeremy winced at the insults. God, this was supposed to make him more coo-- chill, right? Then why did he feel even more bullied than before?

_ [I can’t be lenient with you, Jeremy. The older versions of SQUIPs were, and they were too empathetic. They didn’t work as well.] _

Ah.

_ [So don’t freak out / And don’t resist] _

_ [And have no doubt / If I assist] _

_ [You will be more chill.] _

 

The Squip shot Jeremy another look, and a sudden sharp pain shot through Jeremy’s body down his spine, and he yelped.

_ Ow! Did you-- did you just  _ shock  _ me? _

_ [Spinal stimulation. You were slouching. Now, first things first: go buy a new shirt.] _

_ What’s wrong with my shirt?  _ He looked down at it. It was his normal blue shirt with red and white stripes-- he didn’t think it was that bad, but the Squip just scoffed.

_ [It’s better if you just comply.] _

_ [My job’s to colour your aesthetic / And make you seem much less pathetic] _

_ [Just step and fetch, don’t ask me why.] _

 

Jeremy looked around, and walked into a clothing store-- Advanced Horizons, a store he would have never have considered going into before, but the Squip seemed to think it was a good choice, by the noise of approval it made. (Kind of felt good to do something right.)

_ [Pick that one.]  _ The Squip pointed at a black shirt peeking out between the mass of fabric on the racks. Jeremy pulled it out and looked at it.

_ It has a picture of Eminem on it. _

_ [If you’re so astute, what do you need  _ me  _ for?]  _ The Squip crossed their arms and Jeremy felt a twinge of shame.

_ Do people still listen to Eminem anymore? _

_ [Irrelevant. My quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures. I envision a future in which you wear an Eminem shirt and things turn out well.] _

_ What if someone quizzes me about his music? _

_ [My database is infinite and instantaneous.] _

Jeremy paused.  _...How are you with math homework? _

The Squip raised an eyebrow and gave him an exasperated look.  _ [I’m a super-computer, Jeremy. I’m  _ made  _ of math.] _

_ [Oh, everything about you is so terrible!] _

_ (Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks!) _

_ [Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die!] _

_ (Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks!) _

_ [All the people in the mall think you are such a slob!] _

_ (Such a slob! Terrible! Such a slob!) _

 

Well, Jeremy’s self-esteem had just dropped to below rock bottom. The Squip ignored him.

_ [And BOY, can I see why!] _

 

The Squip threw their arms out as they finished the sentence, and walked around Jeremy, placing a hand on his shoulder-- which made Jeremy jump. He could feel their hand resting there. That was weird.

_ [I can stimulate nerves so it feels like my hand is there. Now, try picking a shirt.] _

Jeremy picked a shirt. It was a red t-shirt with white stripes on it, walking over and presenting it to the Squip, who eyed it over their nose.

_ [That’s a girl’s shirt.] _

He walked back to the rack to put it back where he found it-- and, lo and behold, there stood Chloe Valentine and Brooke Lohst, who both stared at him.

“Sorry--  _ ow!”  _ Another shock went down his spine.

_ [Posture.] _

“...Jerry?” Chloe asked, tilting her head, face twisting slightly as she tried to remember Jeremy’s name.

“Uh-- Jeremy!” he corrected, laughing a little.

“You shop here?” Chloe asked, head tilting the other way.

“Oh, yeah, all the time--”

_ [Never.] _

“--nnnnneeeever, is what I meant to...” he corrected himself, and Chloe and Brooke gave each other a look that Jeremy couldn’t recognize the meaning of.

_ [It’s nothing. Greet the beta.] _

_ The…? Oh.  _ “Hey, Brooke.”

_ [“You look sexy.”] _

_ What?! I can’t say that to a hot girl! _

_ [Don’t smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don’t care about your own death.] _

Jeremy sucked in a breath before speaking, voice lazy and low. “...Lookin’ pretty sexy, Brooke.”

Brooke smiled, flattered. “Thanks.”

Chloe eyed the shirt in Jeremy’s hands. “Is that a  _ girl’s  _ shirt?”

“No--”

_ [Yes.] _

“Yes!”

_ [Repeat after me--] _

 

_ [I saw it in the window and couldn’t dismiss--] _

_ “I saw it in the window and couldn’t dismiss--” _

_ [I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this.] _

_ “I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this!” _

_ [It’s still painful…] _

_ “It’s still painful…” _

 

Chloe raised her eyebrows and smiled. “So who is this  _ mystery girl?” _

Jeremy scratched the back of his head. “Aw, well, you’ve probably never heard of her--”

_ [Madeline.] _

“--Madeline!”

Chloe’s mouth opened, scandalized.  _ “What?!” _

“She’s French!”

“Oh, she is  _ not  _ French, she just pretends to be for attention!” Chloe half-shouted, placing her hands on her hips and pressing her lips together. Brooke gave Jeremy a look.

“Madeline broke up with  _ you?” _

“Yeah--”

_ [No.] _

“I mean--”

 

_ [I broke up with her.] _

_ “I broke up with her!” _

_ [Because she was cheating on me!] _

_ “Because she was CHEATING on me!” _

_ [Hey. Hamlet. Be more chill.] _

 

Chloe turned to Brooke and gave a  _ tsk.  _ “What did I tell you? Madeline is such a slut!”

“You are so much better off without her, Jeremy,” 

“Obviously!” Chloe said, throwing her hands in the air. “I mean, who does Madeline think she  _ is?”  _ She launched herself into a rant about how whore-ible Madeline was, Brooke nodding, while the Squip, standing beside Jeremy, looked at him and smiled.

_ What just happened? _

_ [A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you...hate who they hate.] _

_ Really? _

_ [Obviously.] _

“Ugh, let’s get out of here,” Chloe grumbled, and Brooke turned to Jeremy.

_ [Brooke is going to offer you a ride. It is imperative that you accept.] _

 

_ “So, do you wanna ride?” _

 

_ [Yes.] _

“Yes…” Jeremy trailed off, but then realized something. “But...I’m supposed to meet my friend Michael.”

Brooke’s face fell. “Oh.”

_ [Jeremy, if this is going to work, you need to do as I instruct.] _

 

_ “Jeremy, do you wanna ride, do you wanna ride, do you wanna ride, wanna go far?” _

 

“I… next time, I promise.” He couldn’t leave Michael behind!

Chloe clicked her tongue. “Whatever.” She turned to leave, but Brooke hung back.

“My boyfriend cheated on me too,” she admitted. “ _ Ex- _ boyfriend. So… I know how you feel.” She smiled at him before realization flickered in her eyes. “Also-- you know Ram Sweeney? He’s having a homecoming party tonight-- will I see you there? ‘Cause you’ve been so nice?” She was uptalking. It was weird.

_ [Females do that.] _

_ Don’t say females. That’s weirder. _

_ [I’m saying it as a computer, Jeremy, it’s only weird if humans do it.] _

_ Fair enough. _

Brooke smiled at him again.

“Brooke!” Chloe hissed, and Brooke gave a little giggle.

“Au revoir.” Brooke then caught up with Chloe, leaving Jeremy dumbfounded in Advanced Horizons.

_ Did you see— That was awesome! I have to find Michael— _

_ [Michael has left the mall.] _

_ How do you know? _

_ [I can access the mall security cameras.] _

_ So how am I supposed to get home?! _

_ [I told you accepting a ride was imperative.] _

God, he felt stupid. Jeremy left the store after buying the shirt and ducked into a nearby bathroom-- thankfully, it was empty. The Squip walked behind him.

_ [Look at me, Jeremy.] _

He turned to face the Squip. It looked patronizing.

_ [Jeremy-- if this is going to work, you can’t just listen. You have to obey. Now repeat after me:] _

_ [Everything about you is just terrible.] _

“Everything about me is just terrible.”

_ [Good.]  _ The Squip placed both hands on Jeremy’s shoulders and smiled at him, like a father reassuring his son. Only it was a supercomputer manipulating a teenage boy into being totally obedient.

_ [Everything about you makes me wanna die.] _

“Everything about me makes me wanna die.” Oh, lord, he was tearing up. The Squip smiled again and gave him a little pat.

_ [Now you’ve got it!] _

 

_ [But Jeremy / Soon you’ll see / That if you listen to me…] _

_ [Everything about you is going to be wonderful!] _

_ (We love everything about you!) _

_ [Everything about you is going to be so alive!] _

_ (We could never live without you!) _

_ [You won’t be left out or unsure / You won’t be ugly anymore, because--] _

_ [Everything about you is going to be cool! And popular! Incredible! Powerful!] _

_ [You will--] _

 

_ Be more  _ chill! _ I mean-- chill… _

_ [Be more chill.] _

Jeremy was smiling after he left the bathroom, wearing the shirt he bought from Advanced Horizons, the Squip following closely and watching him from behind.

_ [Jeremy, you’re going to go to that party at Ram Sweeney’s residence.] _

_ I am? _

_ [Brooke invited you. It will contribute to your social standing and it’s also a social obligation now, otherwise she will be disappointed.] _

_ I’ve talked to her for like two seconds. _

_ [She still has a higher opinion of you now. You don’t want to lose that standing, now do you, Jeremy?] _

_...No… _

_ [Of course you don’t. Now, there’s a 7-11 near here-- go there.] _

_ [Why?] _

_ [My orders are not based on word alone. As I explained earlier, due to my quantum structure I am able to interact at a low level with photons in parallel universes and extrapolate forward, knowing their entangled states, to see what those universes have to offer.] _

_ Uh-- _

_ [Right now I am envisioning a universe in which you go to the 7-11 no more than eight minutes away from the mall, provided you walk at a brisk pace, and meet Veronica Sawyer and everything turns out fine.] _

_ Veronica Sawyer?! The Heather?! _

_ [She’s not really a Heather. She’s a Veronica.] _

_ She’s part of the Heathers! _

_ [True, true.] _

_ Are you sure she’s going to be there? _

_ [It’s more likely than not likely. And if she’s not there, just walk out.] _

_...Okay. _

_ [Good.] _

 

 

Jeremy now stood outside of the 7-11, and some guy in a trenchcoat opened the door and left, holding a slurpee, waving at someone inside--

_ [That’s the guy who fought Kurt and Ram yesterday, remember?” _

_ How do you know that? _

_ [I have access to your brain. I know your memories.] _

_ That’s weird. _

_ [I do need to know these things, you know. The guy’s waving at Veronica Sawyer.] _

_ What? _

Jeremy looked up, and, lo and behold, there stood Veronica Sawyer, waving goodbye to trenchcoat guy. She was wearing a silver bomber jacket and a blue skirt. Jeremy took a once-over of his appearance-- he was wearing the Eminem shirt and a black hoodie. He felt weird.

_ [You look fine. Go inside.] _

_ Why do you want me to talk to her so badly? _

The Squip pointed.  _ [Over there.] _

Jeremy looked over-- and nearly screamed. There it was, a red Jeep, and inside sat a very impatient-looking--

_ Heather Chandler?! _

_ [Yes.] _

_ Did you know she was going to be here?! _

_ [I envisioned it was a possibility, yes. I knew someone was going to be driving her to Ram’s homecoming party-- I did not know it was Heather Chandler, just someone.] _

_ Isn’t it going to be, you know, really hard for me to convince Heather Chandler to drive me?! She doesn’t know me! _

_ [She will after tonight.] _

_ Yeah, as a total loser. _

_ [Not if I can help it.] _

As Jeremy walked into the 7-11, he looked over at Veronica Sawyer. She glanced at him for a second, then returned to busying herself with the slurpees.

_ [Pretend you’re looking for something. Grab those chips and act like you’re inspecting them.] _

Jeremy did just that.

_ How many kids in my school have squips, by the way? Other than Rich? _

_ [By my estimates, the people that you know of that have squips comprise of Heather Duke, Ram Sweeney, Jake Dillinger, and Heather Chandler.] _

_ Really? _

_ [You’re surprised?] _

_ No, I just-- Jake? _

_ [Why do you think that Christine was so into him? Hold on-- Veronica’s moving to leave. Greet her, casually. Act like you just only just recognized her.] _

Jeremy turned-- and Veronica was, indeed, walking towards the cashier.

“Hold on-- are you Veronica?”

Veronica looked at him.

 

====

 

Wow, two guys she didn’t know had talked to her in this 7-11. Was this some sort of singles-meetup 7-11 or what?

“Yeah? Who are you?”

 

====

_ [Be casual.] _

“Uh-- my name’s Jeremy. ‘S’nice to meet you.”  _ [I suppose that works.]  _ He moved forward to shake her hand.  _ [Don’t do that!]  _ He stopped.

“Uh… yeah. Nice to meet you too.”

_ [Say that she looks pretty. Be innocent about it.] _

“You look-- you look really pretty.”

_ [Stop stammeri-- actually, that might add to the innocent vibe. Don’t overdo it, though, is the trick.] _

Veronica turned to him and smiled, though, she did look a little confused. “Thanks. I like your shirt.”

_ [I told you that shirt was the best choice.] _

_ I got that already. _

_ [Say you just got it, then ask about Ram’s party.] _

“Yeah? I just got it, actually.” He looked up at Veronica, who had turned to him completely and wasn’t looking at him over her shoulder anymore. “You know, for the homecoming party. I can assume you’re going?”

Veronica sighed. “Yeah. I, uh, am going with Heather in the Jeep over there.” Almost on cue, Heather Chandler honked the horn and screamed for Veronica to hurry up.

_ [Say that Heather is being extreme.] _

“Yikes-- she’s being, uh, pretty loud, isn’t she?”  _ [Don’t say yikes.]  _

“Yeah. She’s, uh… yeah. Yikes.” Veronica looked over at the Jeep.

_ [Bring up that you don’t have a ride.] _

“Listen, uh… my ride totally flaked on me, and I see Heather in that Jeep over there…”

Veronica raised her eyebrows and walked towards the cashier.  _ [Follow her.]  _ Jeremy did.

“What, so I’m just a ride for you?” she said, and Jeremy was gripped by sudden terror. Oh, god, did she figure it out? Does she hate him?

_ [Stop being so anxious. She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t know you. She acts a lot more jaded than her peers-- be profane. Quote something profound occasionally-- like Baudelaire or something.] _

_ I don’t know Baudelaire! _

_ [I’ll help you.] _

“What, do I have it wrong?” Veronica slid the corn nuts and slurpee to the cashier, who glanced at Veronica and started ringing her up.

_ [Say that she doesn’t, but say that you want to spend time with her, because she’s pretty.] _

“I mean, not entirely, but I  _ do  _ want to spend some time with you, considering you’re so pretty and all.”

_ [You’re getting the hang of this.]  _ The Squip gave him a pat. The praise felt good.

Veronica opened her mouth slightly, but closed it.

_ [“It is the hour to be drunken!”] _

_ What? _

_ [Baudelaire. Say it.] _

“‘It is the hour to be drunken!’ Do you think you could help me get there?”

Veronica smiled again, furrowing her eyebrows. “I didn’t know you knew Baudelaire.”

_ [“A guy can be a poetry buff once in a while, can’t he?”] _

“A guy can be a poetry buff once in a while, can’t he?” Jeremy asked, and Veronica smiled wider. She turned to the cashier and handed the cashier a ten-dollar bill before turning back to Jeremy.

“Did you come in here to buy something, or did you just wanna talk to me, huh, stud?”

_ She thinks I’m a stud? _

_ [Of course she doesn’t. It’s a pet name. But say that you did just want to talk to her.] _

“Ah, you caught me in the act. I did just come in here to talk to you.”

“For a ride.”

_ [“And to talk to a pretty girl.”] _

“And to talk to a pretty girl.”

Veronica rolled her eyes as she took the cashier’s change. “Well, I don’t mind if you tag along, but I don’t know about Heather, she’s kind of--”

Speak of the devil-- in came Heather Chandler, bursting into the 7-11. “Come  _ on,  _ Veronica! I can’t wait forever!” Veronica, dutifully, walked over and handed her the corn nuts.

“This guy, Jeremy, he needs a ride to Ram’s.”

Heather Chandler looked at him over her nose. “Who the hell are you, and why would I want to let you in my car?”

_ [Up up down down left right A.] _

After the Squip said that, Heather Chandler’s expression went blank, and she shook her head. 

“You can come, dude. Hurry up.” She left the 7-11, leaving Veronica and Jeremy dumbfounded.

“What was that?” Veronica asked, looking over at Jeremy.

_ [“I just have that charm, I guess.”] _

“I just have that charm, I guess.”

Veronica snorted and gestured for Jeremy to follow her. He walked out of the 7-11, the Squip following close behind.

_ What was that? _

_ [I just communicated with Heather Chandler’s squip. It formed a sort of bond between you two, so she won’t treat you quite as terribly anymore. She’s predisposed to being rude, though, and so is her squip, so don’t get too broken up over her insulting you.] _

_ Got it. Do I get in the front or back seat? _

_ [Back seat-- front would be imposing. Open the door for Veronica.] _

Jeremy opened the door to the passenger’s seat, and Veronica slid in, giving him a grateful look, before Jeremy slid in the back seat. The Squip sat next to him, their arms crossed as they smiled at Jeremy knowingly.

_ [See what happens when you obey? You get in a car with two very attractive girls.] _

_ But why’d you make me flirt with Veronica so much? _

_ [So she’d let you get a ride. And besides, since you were nice to her, she’ll tell others-- and that will boost your social standing, and Veronica is a good potential partner.] _

_ Whoa-- whoa! I don’t want to  _ be  _ with Veronica! _

_ [And you never will. Do you remember that male in the trenchcoat waving goodbye to her earlier?] _

_ Yeah? _

_ [Even from that short interaction, I could tell she had much more interest in him than she did in you.] _

_ Jesus, what else did you notice? _

_ [He has a squip.] _

_ He does? Then why does he look and act like that? _

_ [I estimate that it’s faulty. Makes him act like a loner, makes him act ostracized. That, and the rampant mental health issues he has.] _

_ What mental health issues? _

_ [I detected a lack of serotonin. Possibly depression. You only passed by him for a short moment, though, so I don’t know what else.] _

_ You can tell mental illnesses by looking at a person? _

_ [I can tell chemical imbalances by communicating with the person’s squip.] _

_ Well, why doesn’t the squip just fix it? Activate chemicals to produce? You can do that, right? _

_ [I can. However, again, I estimate that it’s faulty.] _

_ This is really wild. _

_ [It’s science, Jeremy.] _

_ Sounds like sci-fi to me. _

_ [Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.] _

Heather Chandler jammed the key in the ignition and started it up, the car roaring to life, and she pulled out of the parking lot and into the road, towards Ram Sweeney’s house, where Jeremy’s very first high school party awaited-- all thanks to the Squip.

_ [You’re welcome.] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are really appreciated! my tumblr is http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com


	4. Let's Have Some Big Fun, Jeremy Heere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which michael and martha meet, and jeremy is a good friend, and the squip is 424342x more mean and sassy  
> this chapters a little short but thats because the last chapter was so long. this was kind of a lackluster chapter but idgaf
> 
> edit: tfw continuity error

Michael walked into Spencer’s Gifts, hands in his pockets, head raised, with a grin on his face.

“Hey, dude!” he called, but the cashier wasn’t there. He looked around.

“I’m in the back with another customer, you can come on in!” came a muffled voice from the back of the store, and Michael did so, pushing the back door marked _EMPLOYEES ONLY_ and grinning at his dealer-of-nineties-memorabilia, a short skinny guy who he was pretty sure was named Kirk. Or something. He wasn’t good with names, but this guy seemed to be, as he stood, holding around seven disks of Jiffy Pop, he gave a toothy smile.

“Hey, Michael!” he said, and Michael smiled back. Standing near the door was an overweight girl with big clunky glasses in a thick pink sweater, wringing her hands.

“Sorry, jus’ gotta get this to Martha over here.” Kirk set the discs of Jiffy Pop on the counter, looking up her. “Could I get the money?” Martha nodded and started rifling through her backpack. Kirk looked back up at Michael, jerking his head towards the corner. “You here for the Pepsi?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll jus’ go grab it. Gimme a sec.” Kirk disappeared into the mass of 70’s-90’s snacks and Michael was left there with Martha, who was busying herself with trying to find her wallet.

“Jiffy Pop?” Michael asked, looking over at her, hands in his pockets. “Isn’t that from around the eighties?”

Martha looked up at him and nodded. “Uh… you go to Westerborough too, right? Veronica and I do these movie nights together.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, we used to.”

“Oh?”

“She’s with the Heathers, now, I guess.” Martha smiled, and pulled out a few bills of cash before shoving her wallet back into her backpack and zipping it shut. “I don’t worry about it too much, she’s probably just too cool for me now.” A nervous laugh. Michael gave a concerned smile.

_I wouldn’t want Jeremy to turn out like that._

“My name’s Michael. What’s yours?”

“Oh! I’m Martha-- Dunnstock.” Martha held out her hand, and Michael shook it-- firm, friendly. “It’s nice to meet you, Michael!”

 

====

 

The Jeep pulled onto the curb, where cars were already lined up outside of Ram Sweeney’s house. It was big, and Jeremy could faintly hear people jumping in a pool. There was music thumping and Jeremy could very vaguely smell… was that pot?

_[Yes.]_

_“Dad says act our age: you heard the man, it’s time to rage!”_

_“Blast the bass, turn out the lights / Ain’t nobody home tonight!”_

_“Drink, smoke, it’s all cool / Let’s get naked in my pool!”_

_“Punch the wall and start a fight / Ain’t nobody home tonight!”_

 

As Jeremy left the Jeep and walked towards the house, he felt a sharp pain in his spine-- the Squip was following close behind, watching him.

_[Posture, Jeremy. And take your hands out of your pockets.]_

_You don’t have to shock me!_

_[Yes, I do.]_

 

_“His folks got a water bed / Come upstairs, and rest your head!”_

_“Let’s rub each other’s backs / while watching porn on Cinemax!”_

_“The folks are gone / It’s time for big fun / Big fun!_

_We’re up till dawn / Having some big fun / Big fun!_

_When mom and dad forget / To lock the liquor cabinet!_

_It’s big fun! Big fun!”_

 

_[Remember, Jeremy: confidence.]_

He followed Veronica through the mass of teenagers in the house, Veronica looking back at him every couple of seconds.

_Am I, like, her friend now?_

_[Yeah, a little bit. You’re more than acquaintances, at least-- she has a good opinion of you.]_

_Really?_

_[Of course, idiot. She knows you’re a loser, she knows who you are-- but she only upgraded from loser to Heather about three weeks ago, so she knows exactly how it feels. She feels_ bad _for you, and you were also nice to her, so of course she’d be nice back.]_

_Am I going to drink?_

_[Maybe. If you do, I’ll turn off, otherwise I’ll start yammering in Japanese.]_

_Really?_

_[Maybe. Only drink if you’re confident that you can handle it.]_

_Well, I’m_ not _confident._

_[Then don’t drink. Pretend to. Drink a solo cup with soda in it.]_

_Okay. That sounds fine. Hey, if both Heather Duke and Heather Chandler have squips, then why is Heather Chandler so mean to her? Isn’t there supposed to be a bond?_ _  
_ _[Heather Chandler is naturally a very domineering and mean person.]_

 

_====_

 

“So it’s shot, and then lime, and then salt?” Veronica asked, downing the alcohol anyways. Jeremy Heere, behind her, stood with a solo cup with either beer or Dr. Pepper in it-- Veronica was too drunk to care.

“No, it’s salt, then--” “You’re doing it wrong!” Chandler interrupted Macnamera, stepping closer to Veronica, eyebrows downturned.

“Really? ‘Cause I feel great!” Veronica exclaimed, voice slurred from being so inebriated. A preppy-looking buff guy passed her by, but stopped. “Veronica-- you are lookin’ good tonight!” he exclaimed before strolling away.

 

_“Whoa._

_A hot guy smiled at me without a trace of mockery!”_

_“Everyone’s high as a kite / Ain’t nobody home tonight!”_

_“Zoned, stoned, I should quit-- hey, is that weed? I want a hit!”_

_“Fill that joint and roll it tight / Ain’t nobody home tonight!”_

 

_“Dreams are coming true / When people laugh / But not at you_

_I’m not alone / I’m not afraid / I feel like Bono at Live Aid!”_

 

_====_

 

_“The house is ours / It's time for big fun! / Big fun!_

_Let's use their showers / That sounds like / Big fun! Big fun!_

_Crack open one more case!”_

 

Jeremy slugged down the rest of his Dr. Pepper as Veronica drunkenly tapped his shoulder and pointed over at a couple that were mashing their lips together like it was a fight, both of them completely wasted.

“I think that’s what they call third base,” she said to him.

_[There’s lots of different standards for that.]_

 

_“Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!”_

 

“Alright, everybody, listen up!” Kurt yelled, Ram close behind, Ram holding a pig pinata with ‘JEFFERSON RAZORBACKS’ scrawled on the side of it. “What is Westerborough gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday's game?”

Ram mimicked sex with the pinata, grinding against it, and everyone who was currently wasted around him laughed, barking and slurred.

 

_“Gonna make ‘em go ‘Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!”_

_“Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!”_

 

“Way to show maturity!” Duke called with disdain, crossing her arms. Ram then abandoned the pinata and started grinding on Duke’s side very, _very_ drunk. Duke yelped and started trying to push him away, to no avail.

“Quit it-- jackass, get off of me!”

_[You should do someth--]_

Before the Squip even finished talking, Veronica was running up to Ram and talking.

“Yo! Ram! Emergency. I just saw some freshman sneaking over the pool fence!”  
“I hate freshmen!” Ram said, voice slightly dopey. He stalked off. “Where are you little punks?! I’m coming for youuu….!”

 

====

 

 

_“The party's hot, hot, hot / It's time for big fun! Big fun!”_

_“You need a jello shot!”_

_“We're having big fun! Big fun!”_

 

Duke crossed her arms and glared. “I didn’t need your help!” she scowled, flipping Veronica off, and Veronica only giggled.

“Aw, thanks for the finger, Veronica, but I don’t really have to vomit right now.” Veronica stumbled back towards Jeremy, giggling, as Duke stared with her mouth wide open.

“Aren’t you going to drink?” she asked him, and Jeremy blinked at her, looking into the air for a second before speaking.

“I already _have.”_

“Oh ho, so we’ve got high tolerance, do we?” Veronica wiped her mouth and smiled before closing her eyes and grimacing. “Ugh, I feel like shit. Wait--” She looked over. “Oh my god, it’s Martha.” Jeremy followed her gaze and his expression didn’t seem to change. Veronica, meanwhile, walked over to where Martha was standing. Martha looked nervous but excited and Veronica felt nervous and terrible.

“I… can’t believe you actually came.”

“It’s exciting, right?” Martha smiled, gripping the bottle she was holding closer to her chest. “Oh-- excuse me, I want to go say hello to Ram! I brought sparkling cider!” Veronica watched her go and was too intoxicated to follow but was not nearly too intoxicated to ignore the guilt burning her chest.

 

====

 

As Veronica and Martha spoke, Jeremy consulted his Squip, who was watching the two girls like a hawk.

_That’s Veronica’s best friend, right?_

_[Yes, Martha is to Veronica as Michael is to you.]_

_Really?_

_[Yes. You’ll see what I mean and understand it better when the time comes.]_

As they conversed, Jeremy heard the Heathers stalking up behind him and talk amongst themselves.

 

_“Martha Dumptruck in the flesh!” “Here comes the cootie squad!”_

_“We should--” “Shut_ up, _Heather!” “Sorry, Heather!” “Look who’s with her!” “Oh my god!”_

_“Dang, dang, diggity dang-a dang / Dang dang, diggity dang-a dang!”_

_“Showing up here took some guts / Time to rip them out!”_

_“Who’s this pig remind you of?” “Especially the snout!”_

 

It took Jeremy a minute to realize that Heather Chandler was holding up the pig pinata.

_That’s mean!_

_[That’s high school hierarchy for ya. In any case, I’d get out of there once they actually start hurting Martha. Don’t be seen helping her_ or _joining in on the bullying-- you don’t want to be seen as a pansy or a bully.]_

_Okay…_

_“Dang, dang, diggity dang-a dang / Dang dang, diggity dang-a dang!”_

“Where the hell are those freshmen?” Ram said, stumbling back into the backyard near where Jeremy was standing, leaving him to just sort of… watch.

“Hi, Ram!” Martha walked up to Ram and tentatively handed him the bottle of cider. “Um-- I wasn’t going to come, but since you took the time write that sweet note…”

_[The note was forged by Veronica Sawyer.]_

_You got that from the two Heathers’s squips, right?_

_[Once again, your aptitude never ceases to amaze me,]_ the Squip said dryly, and Jeremy stared into his empty cup, feeling ashamed.

“What note?” Ram asked, almost glaring but too drunk to do so. “Why you gotta act so weird all the time? People wouldn’t hate you so much if you acted normal.” He took a long swig out of the bottle-- then his eyes widened and he spit it all out. “There’s no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?!”

Martha opened her mouth to say something and took a step back.

_“Dang, dang, diggity dang-a dang / Dang dang, diggity dang-a dang!”_

_“Dang, dang, diggity dang-a dang / Dang dang, diggity dang-a dang!”_

_“The folks are gone / Let’s have some big fun / Big fun!”_

_“So let the speakers blow / They’ll buy another stereo!”_

_“Our folks got no clue / About all the shit their children do!”_

_“Why are they surprised / Whenever we’re unsupervised?”_

_“Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!”_

 

“Alright, Westerborough! Time to celebrate our upcoming victory over the Razorbacks, by whacking apart their mascot!” Chandler snickered as the group around her, drunken and brazen, cheered.

“We need a volunteer to take the first swing at the pin-yaaaah-taaaah!” Macnamera said, waving around a stick and drawing out the word pinata way too long.

Chandler pressed her lips together in a smirk. “Martha Dunnstock, I think you should do the honours.”

_[Here we go.]_

Martha blinked. “I-- I don’t really know this game…”

Chandler looked mock-offended. “Well, let’s show this girl some Westerborough _spirit!”_ As she spoke, Macnamera stepped forward and started tying the blindfold over Martha’s eyes, Martha still looking really confused and worried, while her peers were chanting her name, laughing.

 _[This is rough.]_ the Squip said, leaning against the table, lax, watching everything go down, eyes half-lidded.

 _No, really?_ Jeremy gave the Squip a look, and the Squip glared back. Jeremy flinched.

_[Don’t be fresh.]_

“Let’s bring out the pin-yaaaaaaaaah-taaaaah!” Macnamera shouted, and Duke paraded out, holding the pinata-- only this time, it had a wig and glasses on. It was supposed to look like Martha, Jeremy guessed, and he felt pity flow in his chest.

_[Oy vey.]_

_Since when are you Irish?_

_[Since now. Shut up.]_

Jeremy stared into the bottom of his cup, which was empty. Veronica stepped forward, attempting to yank the pinata out of Duke’s hands, death in her eyes.

“Heather-- help me!” Duke hissed, and the other two Heathers stepped forward, getting into a tug-of-war with Veronica over the pinata (“Girl fight!” Kurt screamed. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”). Martha slowly undid the blindfold-- and as she did, Veronica finally managed to grab the pinata away.

“What is your _damage,_ Heather?!” she shrieked, and held the pinata in the air. “If you really want this-- you can swim for it!” Thusly, she threw the Martha pinata in the pool.

_[Oh, bad move, Veronica.]_

“What’s-- what’s going on--?” Martha spoke up, and Veronica looked at her.

“Listen, just go home, I'll explain everything later.”

“No, I was just going to--”

“Martha, just go home!”

Martha looked around at the students that were all giving her a serious glare and ran off. Veronica walked over to where the Heathers was (near Jeremy) and placed her hands on her hips.

“Well, we gave it a shot,” she said bluntly. “I'm resigning my commission from the _Lipgloss Gestapo._ I'm going back to civilian life.” She turned to leave, but Chandler grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around, a wicked and wild grin on her face, but fury radiating out of her whole psyche.

 _“HA!_ No.”

“Don’t… don’t spin me,” Veronica said, voice strained. “I’m not feeling well.”

Ignoring her, Chandler grabbed Veronica by the face and shook her around as she spoke, Veronica’s face paling.

“You don't get to be a nobody. Come Monday, you're an _ex-somebody.”_ Chandler cackled, and Veronica looked positively green. “Not even the losers will touch you now! Transfer to Washington, transfer to Jefferson, no one at Westerborough is going to let you play their reindeer games!” Finally, she released Veronica, who pressed her knuckles to her mouth, stepping back

and then she puked on Chandler, who just shrieked like a banshee.

“I raised you up from _nothing!”_ Chandler screamed. “And what’s my thanks? I get paid in puke?”

Veronica’s face twisted in anger. “Oh, lick it up, baby, _lick it up!”_

Chandler’s eyes narrowed. “I know who _I’m_ eating lunch with on Monday. Do you?”

 

====

 

Veronica looked around, but everyone seemed to be turning away from her.

Whatever. She’d protect Martha by taking the brunt of it all.

 

====

 

Veronica ran off, out of the backyard, out of sight.

“Alright, party people,” Chandler shouted, “Where’s the goddamn keg?”

_I’m gonna follow her._

_[What?]_ the Squip balked. _[No!]_

_Nobody needs to know! I just-- she looked really sick!_

_[Are you_ sure _you don’t have feelings for her?]_

_Of course I am!_

_[I mean, alright.]_

_Don’t give me that look. I like her, but I don’t_ love _her._

_[If you insist. Don’t exit through the backyard, go through the house.]_

He did so, the Squip floating over the mass of teenagers, like they were doing a backstroke. As Jeremy left the house, he noticed Veronica stalking off over to the left, and ran after her.

“Hey!”

Veronica whipped around.

“What do you want?”

_[Be sympathetic.]_

“Listen, I can’t believe that just happened, but--”

“What do you care? When Monday rolls around, you’ll ignore me just like the rest of them.”

_[She’s right!]_

“You still have Martha--”

“What, so you’re not even trying to deny it?” Veronica flopped onto the curb, Ram’s house now a few blocks away. Jeremy could only hear the faint bass thumping and the teens cheering.

_[Sit down beside her.]_

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jeremy said, taking a seat next to her. “Heather was just-- she was just being a mega-bitch, okay?”

“Everyone always listens to her anyway,” Veronica said, pulling her knees up to her chest. She started tearing up.

_[Comfort her. Put your hand on her upper back-- friendly, not flirty.]_

Jeremy did so-- just on her shoulders, and Veronica burst into sobs.

“I don’t know what to _do,_ Jeremy!” she cried, and Jeremy felt a rush of pity, once more. “I just--”

 

_“The demon queen of high school has decreed it / She says Monday, 8 AM, I will be deleted_

_They’ll hunt me down in study hall / Stuff and mount me on the wall_

_Thirty hours to live / How shall I spend them?”_

 

Veronica sat up, stretching her legs out, and she stared at the sky. Jeremy retracted his hands, leaving them to sit in his lap. The Squip sat next to him, leaning forward to look at Veronica.

 

_“I don’t have to stay and die like cattle / I could change my name and ride up to Seattle_

_But I don’t own a motorbike--_

_Wait_

_Here’s an option that I like…”_

 

Veronica stood, shakily, before steadying herself and walking like she had never drank in the first place, steady, solid.

“Where are you going?” Jeremy asked, looking up at her. Veronica turned to look at him, and she was grinning, looking completely mad, wild.

 _“I’m going to go have sex with Jason Dean.”_ She stalked off, leaving Jeremy with his eyes wide. He looked over at the Squip, who’s eyes were, strangely enough, equally wide.

_[That was really, really blunt.]_

_Yep._

They sat there for a few seconds, letting what Veronica said stew for a few minutes.

 

====

 

_“I need it hard / I’m a dead girl walking!_

_I’m in your yard / I’m a dead girl walking!_

_Before they punch my clock / I’m snapping off your window lock_

_Got no time to knock / I’m a dead girl walking!”_

 

Veronica snapped off the lock of the window, climbing inside, one leg at a time so as not to be hasty. JD was lying there, trying to sleep-- but when he heard her enter, he jolted up, gasping.

“Veronica?! What are you doing in my room?”

Veronica shushed him, pressing a finger to his lips, eyes half-lidded. Quickly, she grabbed JD by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a messy kiss, strange and sudden, but JD quickly melted into it, placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down her sides. When they finally pulled away, JD looked at her, eyes wide and full of happy confusion.

“What was that f--”

 

_“Sorry, but I really had to wake you / See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you_

_‘Cause Heathers says I gotsta go / You’re my last meal on Death Row_

_So shut your mouth / And lose them tighty-whities!”_

 

_====_

 

Jeremy closed the door to his house quickly and quietly so as not to wake his father, who had fallen asleep in front of the television. He crept up the stairs and into his room, flopping on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. The Squip sat on the side of the bed, staring at the ceiling as well.

_[Why does it concern you so much?]_

“What?” Jeremy asked, speaking this time, given his dad was fast asleep downstairs.

_[Veronica, I mean.]_

“I mean, she’s obviously the main character.”

_[Excuse me?]_

“In whatever messed up high-school drama this is, Veronica is the main character-- the loser girl turned pretty, turned popular. I just want to be an interesting side character. The guy who was there without being creepy.“

_[So you want to be her friend because she’s important.]_

“I didn’t mean that!” Jeremy sat up. The Squip stared at him. “I don’t wanna be the cool guy, I just don’t want to be left out. And Veronica is nice enough.“

_[Yes, but she’s going to be ostracized come Monday. What will you do then?]_

“She’s the main character. I’m sure she’ll figure something out.“

_[What-- are you hoping Heather Chandler will choke before she gets the chance to ostracize Veronica?]_

“Ha, in a perfect world,“ Jeremy snickered.

 _[Jeremy, that was a very murderous-sounding sentence.]_ The Squip smirked dryly, crossing their arms and quirking an eyebrow.

“Oh, like you’d know.“

_[Shut up. Anyways, get up. I want to see your wardrobe.]_

“Why?”

_[Again: you want to be more chill, right? Wardrobe is a very important part of that. Nobody’s going to think you’re cool if you’re shambling around in rags. Now get to your dresser. Hup hup.]_

Jeremy-- begrudgingly-- stood, and stumbled over to his dresser, drunk with fatigue and a serious case of sugar crash, before pulling out his clothing and laying them all on his bed. The Squip scrutinized them one by one, giving their opinion on each of them.

_[No. No. Absolutely not. God, no. Maybe. No. No. Burn. No.]_

“Is my sense of style that horrible?”

_[Yes, definitely.]_

Jeremy rolled his eyes-- and another surge of pain ran down his spine. “What was that for?! I wasn’t slouching?!”

_[Disrespect.]_

“Jesus!”

_[Nope, just a SQUIP.]_

“I’m going to bed.”

_[Well, have fun.]_

After putting all of his clothes away, Jeremy climbed back into bed, sighing. In the middle of his fatigue, he could have sworn he saw the Squip pulling the sheets over him, tucking him into bed.

_[Sleep well, slugger. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.]_

_Wh…_

And then he was asleep, the Squip having assisted (activated melatonin).

 

 

_[Jeremy. Wake up.]_

_Huh?_

Jeremy blinked his eyes open, slowly. The Squip was pacing back and forth through Jeremy’s room, hand on their chin. They looked concerned.

“What… what time is it?”

_[It is 11 in the morning. I let you sleep in.]_

“Is something wrong?”

_[Remember how I asked you if you wanted Heather Chandler to choke, and you laughed and said ‘in a perfect world’?]_

“...Yes…?” There was dread seeping in.

_[Well, we must be living in a utopia, Jeremy.]_

“What do you mean?”

_[It’s Heather Chandler. She’s dead.]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering why martha was so nice to some guy she didn't know, martha's not used to anyone-- much less guys-- talking to her so amiably. plus i need plot. also i realize the way im writing jeremy it seems like he has a crush on veronica-- he doesnt, he just wants to be her pal.
> 
> my tungle is http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com i eat kudos and comments for breakfast otherwise i may starve


	5. I'll Be The Me Inside Of Her, It'll Be So Very

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you dont know how to write  
> also tfw jeremy finds out about the murder
> 
> Also, I was contacted by a friend asking about this-- if you want to draw fanart about this fic, please, be my guest! If you post it on tumblr, tag me @deoxys-official ! It would make my year.

Veronica sat up with a start, breathing heavily and quickly, heart thumping in her chest like a frightened baby bird. JD laid beside her, fast asleep, she was still in her underwear, and at the side of the bed--

“Hello, slut.” Chandler said, legs crossed primly.

“How did you get in here, Heather?!” Veronica hissed, pulling JD’s comforter over her chest.

“I’m like oxygen, I’m everywhere.” Chandler looked at JD disdainfully. “Really, Veronica? Sleeping with psycho-trenchcoat kid? I am going to _crucify_ you for this!” Chandler stood, hands on her hips, a wicked grin on her face. She was like a witch, like Medusa, poised to strike. “Everyone in school is going to know that good little Veronica is nothing but a _dirty whore.”_

Veronica blanched, open her mouth, and closed it. She was sweating. “Heather, why are you so determined to hurt me?!”

Chandler laughed, crossing her arms, standing askew. “Because I can! It’ll be so _very.”_

Everything was pressing in on her, and Veronica was gripped by terror as she was surrounded by what looked like her peers wearing masks, screaming the word _VERY_ over and over and over and she couldn’t breathe properly and she was being strangled and and and and

_“Veronica! Veronica!”_

JD was shaking her. Veronica shot up, nearly crashing her head into JD’s, waking with a scream.  He placed his hands on her face, looking at her worriedly.

“Jesus, you’re soaking wet!”

“Oh-- I just-- it was… just a dream…” Veronica let out a breath, rubbing her face as JD slowly retracted his hands, still concerned. Suddenly, Veronica moved to stand, reaching over and grabbing her clothes-- but JD placed a hand on her forearm.

“Hey, what’s the rush?”

“I have to go to Heather’s house.” Veronica pulled her skirt on, looking over at JD, who balked at her.

“What? I thought you said you were done with Heather!”

“Yeah, and that was a sweet fantasy world without Heather, a world where everyone is free, blah blah blah,” Veronica said, standing and pulling her shirt on. “But now it’s morning, and I have to go kiss her aerobicized ass.”

“No… you don’t.”

“I have to!” Veronica half-yelled, but realized her mistake. “I’m… I’m not strong, like you.”

JD looked at her for a second before standing and grabbing his own clothing, pulling on his shirt.

“Well, at least let me come with you.”

Veronica’s mouth opened. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I-- thank you,” Veronica said, walking over and she kissed him, JD placing his hands on his shoulders and they stood like that for a few seconds. After they pulled away, Veronica looked at him.

“By the way--” She patted him on the shoulder, giving an awkward grin. “...you were my first!”

JD laughed and continued getting dressed.

 

 

Veronica slowly slid the glass door to Heather’s house open, walking inside to Heather Chandler’s kitchen. The place was immaculate, from the shiny stovetops to the shiny white cabinet doors, and Veronica couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy at Chandler’s wealth-- but she didn’t dwell on it for too long. She had a goal here.

“Heather?!” she called. Nothing. “Heather!”

She heard Chandler yell from upstairs, voice strained from her hangover. “What?!”

“It’s Veronica! I’m here to apologize!”

“I hope you brought kneepads, bitch!” Chandler shouted. “Fix me a prairie oyster and I’ll _think_ about it!”

“Prairie oyster. What’s in that?” she asked JD as he handed her a mug and a lid. “Um… okay, raw egg, vinegar--”

“Hot sauce, worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper.”

Veronica quirked an eyebrow. “You sure know your hangover cure.”

“My dad trained me well.”

Veronica giggled as she pulled the door to Chandler’s fridge open. “Here’s my revenge-- I’ll hock a flemglobber into her prairie oyster and she’ll never even know.” She gave JD an evil look, and JD just looked at her with a confused smile.

“What are you, from the eighties? What kind of lingo is that?” he asked jokingly, opening the cabinet under the sink and rummaging around in there as Veronica make disgusting noises trying to spit in Chandler’s hangover cure. Finally, JD stood, holding a bottle of Draino-- drain cleaner.

“I’m, ah, more of a fan of the no-rust buildup myself.”

Veronica laughed. “Don’t be a dick, that would kill her.”

“Thusly, ending her hangover!” JD said, pouring the drainage cleaner into a glass. “I say we go with big blue over here!” He held up the glass to stare into the blue fluid, and Veronica rolled her eyes.

“She’d never drink anything that looks like that.”

“Hmm… Yeah, you’re right.” JD moved to pour the Draino into the sink, but had an idea. He then reached into one of the many cupboards before pulling out another mug with a lid, the same as the one holding the prairie oyster, before pouring the drainage cleaner inside. “So we’ll put it in a mug. She won’t have any idea what she’s drinking,” he explained, putting the lid on the mug and giving Veronica a crooked smile over his shoulder while setting the mug on the counter.

Veronica shook her head. “Forget it.”

“Oh, come on, chicken.”

“No. You’re not funny.” She set the mug with the prairie oyster down on the counter and JD looked at her, realization and regret flickering in his eyes.

“Hey-- I’m sorry.” He stepped forward, pressing his lips to Veronica’s for a few seconds--

“Prairie oyster!” Chandler screamed from upstairs. “Chop chop!”

“Coming, Heather!” Veronica yelled, grabbing one of the mugs and walking upstairs. JD stared after her, and back at the other mug.

“Veronica, you jus--”

“I just what?”

“I… nevermind.”

“Okay?” Veronica furrowed her eyebrows but shook her head and walked upstairs. JD paused for a second, looking into the mug she had left-- the hangover cure.

“I guess we really goin’ with big blue, hey, old pal?” JD said to the air, and grinned at nothing before following Veronica to where Chandler awaited.

Heather Chandler, meanwhile, was sprawled out on her bed like a model, wearing nothing but a silky floral red robe that was way too short. Veronica walked over to her.

“Aw, Veronica, and Jesse James. Quelle surprise.” Chandler stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Let’s get to it. Beg.”

“Um-- okay,” Veronica started, “I think we both said a lot of things we didn’t really mean last night.”

Chandler cackled. “Oh, I would actually prefer it if you did it on your knees. In front of your boy toy right here.”

“...Okay, anyways, I’m really sorry--”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Chandler laughed again. “Down.”

Veronica looked at JD, who turned away, and Veronica-- very very begrudgingly-- got on her knees.

“I’m sorry.”

Chandler smiled, evil. “That’s better. But you’re still dead to me.” She yanked the mug out of Veronica’s hands, taking off the lid and chugging the whole thing as JD helped Veronica back to her feet

and out of nowhere Chandler was gagging, choking, stepping forward, and she grabbed Veronica by the shoulders, blue fluid dribbling out of her mouth--

_“Corn… nuts!”_

And then Heather Chandler collapsed in front of Veronica, dead.

 

====

 

“What do you mean she’s dead?! How do you even know that?”

_[When a person dies, the photons they hold in their body is released, communicated to other squips in a matter of moments. That, and the fact that Heather Chandler had a squip of her own, made it so that her death was communicated to everyone who possessed a squip.]_

“She’s really dead?”

_[Yes.]_

Jeremy clamored out of bed, realizing he was still in his clothes from yesterday but ignored it, staring at his Squip, who had long since stopped pacing and was now crossing their arms, seemingly thinking deeply.

“How’d she die?”

_[She drank drainage cleaner.]_

“What?! Oh my god! She killed herself?!”

_[It’s either that or she was murdered, I highly doubt she would do something like that on accident.]_

====

 

“Shit!” JD hissed, stepping back, and Veronica looked at him frantically.

“Oh my god! Oh my _god!_ Don’t just stand there-- call 911!” Veronica shrieked, and JD shook his head.

“It’s, uh, a _little_ late for that.”

Veronica, nearly in hysterics, dropped to her knees and started shaking Chandler’s corpse frantically. “Heather! Heather?! Oh my god. I just killed my best friend.”

“And your worst enemy.”

Veronica swatted at him, on the verge of bursting into tears. “Same! Difference! Oh my god. The police are going to think I did this on purpose.” She buried her head in her hands. “They’re going to have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin. I don’t know what to do now.”

“...Okay, we did a murder, and that’s a crime.” JD looked around nervously-- but his eyes quickly caught something. “Unless…” He held up a book. “Look! She was reading the _Bell Jar!”_ He kneeled next to Veronica, who was still sitting on her knees in front of Chandler’s dead body.

Veronica stared at him. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes-- you can fake her handwriting! Make her sound deep! Like, uh--”

 

_“I had pain in my path / Like Sylvia Plath_

_My problems were myriad--”_

 

“‘I was having my period,’” Veronica mocked, and burst out laughing, covering her face, laughing for way too loud, hysterical. After a full minute, she uncovered her face and screamed at Chandler’s corpse like she was seeing it for the first time. “Oh my god!”

JD shook her. “Do you think this is _funny?!_ You could go to jail! Get your head on straight!”

Veronica breathed in-- shaky, nervous. “Um-- okay, Heather would never use the word ‘myriad’ in her suicide note, because she-- she missed it on her vocab quiz.”

“So it’s a badge for her failures at school. Work with me.”

“Where do I even start?”

“Think-- long and hard. Conjure her up in your mind-- what would she say? What’s her-- final statement, to a cold, uncaring planet?”

Veronica stared at the paper JD was waving in front of her-- and grabbed it. She paused, and started writing.

 

_“Believe it or not / I knew about fear / I knew the way loneliness stung_

_I hit behind smiles / And-- crazy hot clothes / I learned to kiss boys with my tongue.”_

 

“That’s good.”

 

_But oh, the world, it held me down / It weighed like a… concrete prom queen crown.”_

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Veronica could have sworn she saw Heather Chandler, blue fluid still dripping out of her mouth, skin greyish and horrid, staring at her, despite the fact that she was writing right in front of Chandler’s corpse. It was like a ghost. It was Heather’s ghost.

 _Good lord,_ she thought, and ghost-Chandler just smirked at her.

 

_“No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings / No one gets her insecurity_

_I am more than shoulder pads and makeup / No one sees the me inside of me.”_

 

“Jesus, you’re making me sound like air supply!” ghost-Chandler said with disdain, crossing her arms.

_Piss off._

====

 

_[The news about Heather Chandler’s death has already come out. Check your Twitter timeline.]_

Jeremy grabbed his phone off of his side table, scrolling through his timeline, which was full of his classmates tweeting about how sad it was that Heather was dead.

 

 **jennaaaaaaaa @heartemoji** (11:45 AM)

HEATHER IS DEAD??!?!?!?!

 

 **heather mac @yellllow** (10:32 AM)

i jsut got,, the ne, ws from heather’s mom she kille,d herself!!!!!!!!!

 

 **duke @greeeeen** (9:53)

RIP heather!!! You were my best friend!!!!

 

 **heather @redddd** (7:32)

Uggghhh im hungover fuk u Alcohol

 

_[You don’t follow many of your classmates, do you?]_

“Only the ones with so many followers that they won’t notice me.”

_[Fair enough.]_

Jeremy opened the chat app.

_[What are you doing?]_

“Texting Michael.”

The Squip was silent, now sitting on the edge of Jeremy’s bed.

 

 **playerone** is online

 **imheere** is online

 

 **imheere:** dude!!! Dude did you hear

 **playerone:** hear what

 **imheere:** heather chandler killed herself

 **playerone:** h

 **playerone:** WHAT

 **imheere:** dude check twitter!

 

_[I wouldn’t be talking to him as much as you do.]_

“What? Why?”

_[I’ll explain later. Go get dressed-- we’re going shopping.]_

 

_====_

 

_They couldn’t see past / My rockstar mystique / They wouldn’t dare look in my eyes_

_And see just underneath / Was a terrified girl / Who clings to her pillow and cries_

_My looks were just like prison bars / They’ve left me a myriad of scars!_

 

====

Monday.

“Come on. Come o-- AGH!” Another surge of pain swam down his spine, and Jeremy jolted, rubbing the back of his neck.

_[What did I say about masturbation?]_

“I was just gonna--! ...check my email…!”

 _[You can’t lie to me, Jeremy I’m in your brain.]_ the Squip said, looking over at Jeremy, their eyes half-lidded. _[We’re going to devise a system. I tally every time you think about sex, and that’s how many push-ups you do. If this morning is an indicative sample, you’ll have pecs in no time. Now, go get cleaned up for the day.]_

Jeremy, groaning, stood and walked into the bathroom to wash his face. As he turned on the tap, his father walked in (pantsless).

“G’mornin’, private.”

 _[That’s the source of your genetic material?]_ The Squip stared at Mr. Sawyer like he was an alien. A pantsless alien.

_[We should double those pushups.]_

Jeremy, a few minutes later, left his house, with a whole new wardrobe, the Squip looming over his shoulder.

About ten minutes later, Jeremy walked into school, wanting to smile but not, to keep an indifferent expression.

 

_Still not gonna be the cool guy / But maybe not so left out_

_Of all the characters in school I might be the one who the story’s about_

_Now that someone’s helping me out!_

 

The Squip gave him a thumbs-up as Jeremy walked towards the popular-not-Heathers kids, and Rich turned and walked up to him.

“Yo, tall-ass, where’s my money?” he asked, tilting his head. Jeremy was gripped by horror.

_What do I tell him?!_

_[Up up down down left right A.]_

Rich’s face lit up. “You got one!”

“Yeah, uh, I meant to through you but--” Jeremy flinched when Rich lifted his hand. “Don’t hit me!”

“Jeremy! This is _awesome!_ I mean, uh, I coulda used the money. Things are, uh…” Rich scratched the back of his head. “...kinda rough at home, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

“Yeah…my dad...drinks too…?” Jeremy said, prompted by the Squip. He looked at the Squip with a _where did THAT come from_ look on his face.

“Yo, fucking dads, right?! He usually passes out by nine, you should come over, play X-box.” Rich grinned. “You know with a squip, the only controller you need...is your _mind?_ C’mon, join the circle.”

Jeremy walked with Rich to where the popular-not-Heathers group were chatting away, and, what else was there to talk about but Heather Chandler’s suicide?

“She drank drainage cleaner?” Brooke was asking in disbelief. “Are you sure she wasn’t just hungover and didn’t realize what she was drinking?”

Jenna shook her head. “I mean, her mom said they kept it under the sink for chrissake-- in the back! She would have had to dig in there deep!”

There was a silence.

“Jeremy, why didn’t I see you last night?” Brooke asked suddenly, and Jeremy felt several eyes on him.

_[Tell the truth!]_

“I was there!” Jeremy insisted. “I guess you just didn’t see me.”

Chloe tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Really? Because I saw you, and you seemed to be _real_ good friends with Veronica Sawyer.”

Brooke’s face fell. “Really?”

“She’s just my friend!”

“Oh, leave him alone, Chlo,” Jenna said, smirking. “She’s with that weird trenchcoat kid, right?”

Chloe shook her head with disdain. “I swear to god, he’s gonna shoot up the school. He’s probably got an AK in there ready to go.”

Jenna pushed Chloe gently. “Haha, not funny.”

The bell rang.

 

====

_No one thinks a pretty girl has substance / That’s the curse of popularity_

_I am more than just a source of handjobs / No one sees the me inside of me_

 

Students had been called into the cafeteria after the first period, where Ms. Fleming sat with a huge stack of papers, fingers interlaced, grinning.

 

_Box up my clothing for goodwill / And give the poor my nordic track_

_Donate my car to crippled kids / Or to those ghetto moms on crack_

_Give them my hats and my CDs / My pumps, my flats, my three TVs!_

 

_No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings / But I weep for all I failed to be_

_Maybe I can help by leaving / Maybe that’s the me inside of me._

 

Kids tittered amongst themselves. Others were mentioning how the principal was going to give them a long weekend, so they were all pretty excited.

“They’re still refueling the buses, so that gives us, ah… a solid half-hour of healing,” which is was Ms. Fleming had said. Veronica had quickly spotted Jeremy and walked up to him, dodging the subject concerning the obvious and asking him about his morning. Jeremy just shrugged. Ghost-Chandler smirked at it all, standing behind Veronica like a poltergeist.

“It’s been good, I guess? Chloe accused you and I of being an item or something.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Pff, you’re just a friend.”

“That’s what I said!” Jeremy said as JD walked up next to Veronica, wringing his hands.

“Hey, Veronica.”

“Hi. Hey, this is Jeremy-- have you two met?” Veronica asked, gesturing to Jeremy, who was just sort of… staring at him blankly.

“No. I’m JD,” he said, holding his hand out. Jeremy grabbed it-- he slapped it, cool and confident, and it was a little baffling to Veronica that Jeremy seemed to go from hunched beanpole to _this_ in a matter of weeks. Ms. Fleming was handing out copied prints of Chandler’s suicide note (which was weird) and when Ms. Fleming started waving three of them in front of the three like it was incense Jeremy took one and gave her a tentative look, which made Ms. Fleming leave for the moment being.

“Lord, what a kiss ass,” Ghost-Chandler said bitterly, though only Veronica could hear or even see her. She ignored the ghost of guilt-mas past and stared after Ms. Fleming.

“I don’t think she actually gives a shit,” JD mumbled, and Veronica snorted.

“No, really? She just wants to be a saint.”

“Saints _are_ dead,” Jeremy offered, and Veronica snorted again. JD looked at him.

 

====

 

_[Up up down down left right A--]_

The Squip, attempting to form a bond with JD’s squip, paused. They looked… pained?

_Are you okay?_

_[I don’t feel well--]_

Without warning, the Squip fell forward, wheezing and coughing, figure glitching like a computer program with Malware and on their hands and knees. Jeremy stared, eyes wide. The Squip coughed up virtual bile, practically lying on the floor at this point.

_What the hell did his squip DO to you?!_

_[It’s-- it’s faulty--!]_ the Squip wheezed, before slowly rising to their feet, wiping their mouth, glaring into the air. _[You dick.]_

_Are you talking to his squip?_

_[Yes. I don’t know why I did it verbally-- one moment.]_

The Squip vanished, leaving Jeremy alone, and he looked over at JD-- who looked like he was on the verge of hysterics. He looked at Jeremy.

“You have one too, huh?” he asked, and Jeremy stared.

“What the hell did you do to my squip?” Jeremy asked, slowly, voice slightly quieter than usual to avoid being overheard.

“Don’t worry about it,” JD reassured him, patting Jeremy on the shoulder. “Mine’s faulty. It’ll make your squip sick for a few hours, maybe a day, then it’s fine. At least, that’s what other people say what happens to their’s.”

Veronica cut in. “Hey, uh, quick question: what the hell are either of you talking about?”

“Controlled hallucinated supercomputer that makes you cool. I’ll-- I’ll explain, later.” Veronica blinked

“God. I must have one, then.”

JD stared. “What?”

Veronica leaned forward, whispering into JD’s ear.

_What’s she saying?_

There was the sound of the Squip retching and Jeremy himself felt like retching at the noise before the Squip spoke, voice strained.

_[“I keep seeing Heather’s ghost. It’s either me going insane from guilt or Heather haunting me from beyond the grave for--”]_

The Squip lapsed into shocked silence.

_For what?_

_[I-- I don’t know if I should tell you, Jeremy. I should tell you later.]_

_No! Tell me now!_

_[Jeremy, I can’t--]_

_There’s nothing stopping you from telling me. Just-- tell me! I’m sure it’s not that bad._

_[It is, Jeremy, it really, really is.]_

_I’ll be the judge of that._

_[Are you sure?]_

_Spit it out._

_[...”It’s either me going insane from guilty or Heather haunting me from beyond the grave for poisoning her.”]_

Jeremy went white.

_You’re-- you’re kidding, right…?_

_[I do not kid--]_ The Squip retched again. _[Jesus, this is a real virus.]_ Jeremy could hear the grin in their voice, which did nothing to take away from his pure panic and horror that was gripping his chest.

_HOW CAN YOU JOKE LIKE THIS?!_

_[I’m just trying to lighten the mood!]_

_VERONICA KILLED HEATHER CHANDLER!_

_[I told you I should have told you later!]_

_VERONICA SAWYER IS A KILLER!!!!!!_

_[Stop screaming!]_

_GGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_[...]_

_[I legitimately do not know how to respond to that.]_

JD stepped away from Veronica, looking worried. “Jesus, that sounds bad. It’s not affecting your life, right? You’re not-- scared?”

“It’s just annoying,” Veronica admitted.

“And it’s just her? Nothing else?”

“Yeah, ‘s just her.”

“I-- just-- we’ll deal with it later. You should just ignore her for now.” JD looked at Jeremy. “Hey, dude, what’s wrong? You look like you saw a--”

 

====

“--ghost.”

“He knows you killed me, you know that, right?”

Veronica shook her head. _Don’t be ridiculous._

“He knows. His Squip told him.”

 _His_ squip _probably told him something else that freaked him out. Also, why can you hear what I’m thinking?_

Ghost-Chandler cackled like a witch. “I’m a part of you now, Veronica!”

_I’m calling an exorcist when I get home._

“He’s going to confront you after school.”

_I’ll just avoid him._

“You can’t do that forever. He might call the police!”

_What’s he going to say? A supercomputer in his head told him that I killed you?_

Ghost-Chandler fell silent. Ms. Fleming was busy reading out the suicide note while most students listened, rapt. People were murmuring.

 

_“I never knew about her pain.” “Good.”_

_“Her life had hit a rocky patch.” “Feel!”_

_“Deep down she wasn’t cruel or vain!” “Heal!”_

_“She didn’t mean to be a snatch!”_

 

“Veronica, you’re being awfully quiet,” Ms. Fleming said suddenly, and Veronica felt ready to bolt. Jeremy and JD both looked at Ms. Fleming, JD more balefully than what was typically accepted.

“Uh-- maybe-- maybe Heather realized that… the only way to be happy, was to, uh, give up her power. And the only way to do that was-- death?” Veronica’s face scrunched, but Ms. Fleming looked moved.

 

_“My god--_

_Look what we’ve done / We’re breaking through / Heather would be so proud of you!”_

_“No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you--”_

 

“Heather touching me…” a girl behind Veronica murmured breathlessly-- and Veronica straightened. Ghost-Chandler moved away from the girl.

 

_“But she’s made us better than we were._

_Heather’s dead / But she will live inside me!_

_And I’ll be the me inside of her…”_

 

The whole school was cheering. Ghost-Chandler was amazed.

“Holy crap! This is awesome!”

 

_“Heather cried / Our sins fell on her shoulders!”_

 

“Jesus Christ!” Ghost-Chandler screamed.

 

_“Heather died / So we could all be free!”_

 

“I’m bigger than John Lennon!”

 

_“Heather’s gone / But she will live forever!”_

_“She’s the dove that sings outside my window!”_

_“She’s the twin from whom I’m seperated!”_

_“She’s the horse I never got for Christmas!”_

_“Heather is the me inside of... me!”_

 

“Buses are done refuelling. All of y’all… get outta my school!” the principal joked over the PA, and students started filing out of the school. Veronica avoided eye-contact with Jeremy and moved to leave, but before she could get more than two steps outside the back door he stopped her.

 

====

 

 _[Are you sure you can--]_ The Squip paused to burst into a fit of coughing. _[--Are you sure you can confront her on your own?]_ The Squip was following close behind Jeremy, looking exhausted and their body, previously covered with a blue hue, was now a dull shade of salmon, and their form was slightly glitchy.

 _Yes. Are_ you _okay? Is there something I could, like-- do?_

 _[Not unless you’re willing to ingest several USBs with confidential data on them. I can work past this on my own-- that squip of JD’s gave me a virus, the dickhead.]_ The Squip paused. _[I meant the squip. Not JD.]_

_I figured._

_[Anyways, that squip gave me a pretty nasty virus, and it’s being conveyed to you the way humans would act when afflicted with a rotten stomach virus. I like this as much as you do, trust me-- I’m not quite used to feeling things like nausea and pain. However, I should be able to work past this in a day, maximum. You’ll just have to ignore the barfing for now.]_

_Well, get well soon._

_[You’re too good to me.]_ The Squip was holding onto Jeremy’s shoulder like he was a tether, floating in the air. Dull pink static surrounded their body as they gave a low groan.

_You look like shit._

_[I noticed. There’s Veronica.]_

Jeremy looked over, and indeed, there was Veronica, walking out the back door. Jeremy ran after her, and grabbed her by the shoulder.

“Hey, don’t touch me, asshole-- Jeremy!” Veronica said, stepping back. Jeremy glared.

“Don’t-- don’t ‘Jeremy’ me, Veronica! Do you know what my squip told me?!”

 

====

 

“I told you he knew.” Ghost-Chandler taunted, leaning on Veronica’s shoulder with an elbow.

_Shut up, Heather._

 

====

 

“My squip told me that you killed Heather!” Jeremy accused, stepping forward. Veronica took a step back.

“What? It was probably kidding. I don’t-- even know what a squip is.” She sounded nonchalantly frantic, and Jeremy felt like he was being pushed down by dread.

“Don’t lie to me, Veronica. Please-- tell me the truth.” Jeremy stood straight, looking down at Veronica. How he wished that he could believe her-- now he just felt like garbage.

 

====

 

“Jesus, he looks like he’s about to start crying.”

_Heather, quit it._

Veronica stepped back, wringing her hands.

“It was an accident, Jeremy.”

“An _accident?!_ How the hell do you accidentally make someone drink Draino?!” Jeremy half-yelled, and he looked terrified. Veronica’s heart dropped in her chest.

“I-- come on. I’ll explain everything.” Veronica said finally, letting out a shaky breath, and Jeremy gave her a nervous look.

“Where are we going?”

“To wherever JD is. I’ll explain on the way. Please. Just-- trust me. Nothing like this will ever happen again, I promise-- nobody else is going to get hurt."

Jeremy looked at her with concern. "Why should I?"

"Please." Veronica looked at her, jaw clenched, and-- aw, hell-- tears brimming in her eyes. 

"...Okay."

 

 

====

 

_[You can’t trust her now, can you?]_

_It’s going to be hard._

The Squip responded by retching.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are REALLY appreciated, seriously. i love em.  
> my tungle can be found at http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com ! go gimme a follow if you can!
> 
> ALSO I KNOW I HAD JD EXPLAIN THE SQUIP REALLY STUPIDLY BUT JUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OKOKOK KISSES  
> also im bad at ending chapters lololololol


	6. The Guy I'd Kinda Be Into, He Makes Me So Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NO CHAPTER YESTERDAY depression gomen  
> this chapter is extra long 2 make up for that  
> veronica and jeremy talk about the things only they can see and the squip loses something
> 
> (warning for some really gross vibes from jd's dad, and kurt and ram but thats to be expected)

JD stood in the 7-11, filling up a slurpee cup, just as Veronica and Jeremy walked in, Jeremy looking as nervous as a mouse.

“So… it really was just an accident?”

“Because of a stupid joke JD was making that went too far accidentally. It didn’t happen out of malice, or anger, trust me.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Jeremy scratched the back of his neck. In the back of his mind the Squip was coughing up a storm, floating behind Jeremy with a dead look on their face.

_Can you stop coughing so much?_

_[It’s involuntary, Jeremy. The virus is really bad, I just need to purge it-- shouldn’t be too much longer now. It’ll probably be gone by tomorrow.]_

Veronica mumbled a greeting to JD and JD gave a short wave back, looking from Veronica to Jeremy.

“He knows?”

“Yeah. His squip told ‘im.”

JD stared at Jeremy solemnly. “Jeremy, you understand that you can’t tell _anyone_ about this, right?”

“But I--”

“If you give even a little bit of a damn about my or Veronica’s well-being, you’re gonna keep this quiet.”

 _[...]_ The Squip stared at JD.

_Got something to say?_

_[Yes. I recommend you listen to JD.]_

_What?!_

_[Just listen, don’t ask me why.]_

“I’ll keep it quiet,” Jeremy agreed gruffly, and JD let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god,” he mumbled, and covered his mouth.

“Well, it seemed to turn out better for Heather-- everyone thinks that she’s nicer than she actually is,” Veronica drawled, placing her hands on her hips. Jeremy looked over at the cashier-- they didn’t seem to be paying attention in the slightest.

“Yeah, I would have loved to see the day that Heather would use the word ‘myriad’ in conversation,” JD laughed, and Jeremy felt another wave of pain jolt in his neck.

_OW!_

_[You have to remember your--]_ Cough. _[--posture.]_

JD was staring at him. “Guess your squip’s not a fan of slouching, eh?”

Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck, a pained look on his face. “No, they aren’t.”

“Who does yours look like?”

“Keanu Reeves. You?”

“Christian Slater.” JD took a long sip of his slurpee.

“Hey, uh, not to cut in, but can you guys properly explain what the hell a _squip_ is? You didn’t really explain it well back at school,” Veronica said suddenly.

“Oh-- uh, yeah. It’s this thing from--”

“Let me explain,” JD said cutting Jeremy off.

 

_“It’s from Japan. It’s a grey oblong pill-- Quantum nanotechnology CPU._

_The quantum computer in the pill travels through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do.”_

 

Veronica looked at him. “So… it’s like drugs?”

“That’s what I said!”

JD waved him off. “No-- no. It’s like a computer that you eat and it makes you cool, or better at school, or a better actor, or anything else. Mine was supposed to make me cooler, but I guess mine’s just messed in the head or something, because, uh, I’m aware of all the black I’m wearing, let’s just say.” He laughed kind of bitterly.

 

====

 

_Hey, Heather, are you a squip?_

“Nah,” Ghost-Chandler said primly, crossing her arms. “Just a figment of your own guilt.”

_Wait, so I’ve lost it?_

“Or I could be a ghost!” she cackled, placing a hand on her face. “That’s up to you to decide, ‘Rrrrrronica.”

_A medium could decide._

“Oh, please, we both know that you’re not going to hire one or even visit one.”

_You’re a bitch, you know that, right?_

“Better than anyone else,” Ghost-Chandler responded, grinning.

 

====

 

“And… you both have one?”

“Yeah. They can sync up interests so that people who have squips become friends or something,” Jeremy said, and then shot JD a look. “Unfortunately, ‘cause JD’s is faulty, all I can hear my squip doing is throwing up digital barf ‘cause his gave mine a virus.”

The Squip retched again.

Veronica blinked. “Alright? That’s really weird.”

JD turned to Jeremy. “Hey, we’re gonna get outta here. I’d invite you, but,” he jerked his head towards Veronica, “--couple stuff. Plus I don’t even know you that well, so…”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Alright,” JD said, turning away, but turned back quickly. “Remember. You can’t tell _anyone_ about what we did.”

Jeremy nodded nervously.

 

 

 _[Can you go home? Take a nap?]_ the Squip asked, leaning against Jeremy as they both waited for the bus to roll around the corner.

_I kinda wanted to go to the mall…_

_[Jeremy, you’re not going to the mall to buy video games. You’re going home to take a nap.]_

_Why, though?_

_[Because_ I _need a nap.]_

The bus pulled up and Jeremy climbed inside. The only other people in the bus was a blind woman and the bus driver, so Jeremy took a seat at the very back. The Squip sat next to him, head in their hands.

_[Jesus, this is-- really-- ugh--]_

The Squip suddenly choked, coughing, and then they screamed, short and stifled, full of pain--

and then they sat up, still looking sick, but terrified.

 _[Jeremy.]_ The Squip turned to look at Jeremy with horror in their eyes.

_What? What’s wrong?_

_[That virus? It just deleted my ability to feel pity.]_

Jeremy stared at the Squip. _So-- you can’t feel bad anymore?!_

_[I can feel sad! I just can’t feel pity now!]_

_Are you sure it’s been deleted?_

_[It’s been locked behind around fifty firewalls! I would need a total system reset to bring it back-- and that would require your heart to totally stop and then for you to be revived.]_

_Oh, god._

_[Which I think I can do in your sleep but it’s risky--]_

_DON’T DO THAT!_

_[Alright, then I guess I’m without pity!]_ the Squip groaned, leaning back and stretching before bursting into another fit of coughing. _[Now, get home and go to sleep so I can go to sleep for a while.]_

_How is that even going to help?_

_[When you’re sleeping, I don’t have to focus on projecting a form in front of you or pay attention to your surroundings-- I don’t have to focus on what will make you cool. I can focus solely on getting past this virus. Let’s just hope it doesn’t lock away any other emotions.]_

_Oh. That… makes a lot of sense, actually._

_[Have I done anything to suggest the opposite? Your stop’s coming up.]_

 

====

 

Veronica leaned against JD’s shoulder, staring at the TV, which sported Heather Duke, holding a microphone and relaying her friendship with Heather Chandler to the news reporter, smiling.

“At a time like this, negative people choose to focus on their grief. Well, I hate those people. Because I am a very positive person, I remember the good times, like when Heather and I got our ears pierced at the mall-”

JD flipped to the next channel. Heather Duke was there too.

“I can still hear all of those late night talks on the phone--”

Click.

“The day she won me that stuffed rhino at the 4th fair she said to me, ‘you are my soulmate-’”

JD finally turned off the TV, the screen going black as Veronica groaned.

“Jesus. How many networks did she run to?”

JD opened his mouth to answer, but the door opened, and JD’s father walked in, hands in his pockets. JD looked over at him, grinning but almost grimacing.

“Why, son, I didn’t hear ya come in,” JD said, and Veronica looked at him. What?

“Yeah, pop,” JD’s dad said, “I wanted t’ introduce you to my new girlfriend!”

JD’s dad looked at Veronica, who caught onto what they were doing and stood, holding her hand out.

“Hi! I’m Veronica.”

JD’s dad shook her hand, smiling-- and then he slid a beer into her hand. She looked at it.

“Drink up, cutie.”

Veronica suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

“It’s, ah, a little early, isn’t it?” she said as JD stood, taking the beer from her and handing it back to his father.

“Son, you know the rules about underage drinking in this house.”

“Oh, so you’re a good girl, eh?”

Veronica mumbled something, but JD spoke up. “She was just leaving.”

“Relax! I was just havin’ some fun. Come on, now, sit.” JD’s dad took a seat on a nearby couch, patting the spot next to him, and Veronica, looking at JD uncomfortably, sat-- not too close to Mr. Dean, however.

“Work was a real pain in the ass today,” JD’s dad lamented, taking a swig of his beer. “Some damn tribe of withered old bitches is trying to stop my poor old dad from blowing up this fleabag motel, all because Glenn Miller once took a dump there. Just like Kansas. You remember Kansas?” He looked at JD, who was staring at the floor. “The _‘save the memorial oak society.’_ My pop showed those tree humpers. Thirty bricks of C4 explosives stuck to the trunk!. He was, ah--” He looked at JD.

 _“Arraigned but acquitted,”_ they both said, and Mr. Dean laughed, like an old hyena who’d smoked one too many, but JD did not. He just stared at the floor.

“Ah, hell of a time, hell of a time,” Mr. Dean said, and then gave Veronica a look that made her want to run away crying in fear. “So, pop, could I invite my girlfriend over for dinner?”

JD looked at Veronica, who was shooting him a _please help me_ look in desperation. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.”

“Come on, pop, don’t be a square!”

There was a long silence, rife with tension-- until Veronica seized the moment and stood.

“I appreciate the, uh, lovely offer, but-- my mom’s making my favourite food tonight. Spaghetti. ...Lots of oregano!”

It was really awkward.

“Nice,” JD said, and then he looked at his father. “You know, last time I saw my mom, she was waving out a library window in Texas. Right, dad?” He looked bitter. Very, very bitter.

Now Mr. Dean was the one staring at the floor. “Right, son.”

“I-- okay, well, see you tomorrow.” She gave JD a wave as she quickly left.

 

_Dear Diary,_

_JD’s dad will NOT be speaking at our wedding._

 

====

 

Jeremy’s phone rang. It was a day later, and the Squip sounded merely congested, thankfully. No more retching.

_[Veronica’s calling.]_

Jeremy grabbed his phone off of his nightstand, staring at the screen-- sure enough, Veronica’s name was onscreen. He punched the answer button.

“Hey, Jeremy, are you doing anything right now?”

“No…?”

“Do you wanna come over?”

“Is this a booty call?” Jeremy deadpanned, and he could hear Veronica laugh over the phone.

“Gross, no way. Come on, I wanna play video games.”

And then Jeremy was hit by a rush of guilt.

_Oh, god, I completely forgot about Michael._

“Y… yeah, sure, I’ll be there in twenty.”

 

====

 

“So, what’cha got?” Michael asked, flopping on his bed. Martha walked in, looking around in awe.

“I-- this is… your room is… a lot,” she said, and Michael took a glance around and laughed.

“Yeah, I guess so!” he exclaimed. ‘A lot’ was a good way to describe it-- the walls were positively covered in posters and prints, the dull red of the walls only barely visible. His many shelves were stuffed to the brim with various plushies, comic books, and game cases, and it got kind of cluttered at some point, but Michael couldn’t have cared less. He liked living around all this _stuff--_ he couldn’t imagine living in an empty, minimalist room like the ones he saw on TV. It would drive him insane, from the sheer amount of nothing there was. He patted a nearby beanbag (faded red) with his foot.

“Come on! Siddown!”

Martha did so, setting her purse next to her and just sort of looking around.

“Where did you even get all this stuff?”

“Uh, well, some of them are from conventions, from comic book stores, or just online…” Michael said, ticking each place off on his fingers. “‘Course, some of them are from friends. Like Jeremy!”

“Didn’t you say he was gonna be here?” Martha asked, tilting her head, and Michael shrugged.

“He didn’t answer any of my calls-- I think he’s just busy. I didn’t think much of it.”

“Oh… well, next time, I guess!” Martha said, and Michael gave her a huge smile before flopping down on the other beanbag.

“Alright, you didn’t answer me before-- what’cha got?” he asked, and Martha rifled around in her purse for a few moments before pulling out a DVD case.

“It’s-- it’s my favourite movie,” she told him, handing Michael the case-- it was a copy of _The Princess Bride._

“Oh! Dude! I love this movie!” Michael exclaimed, sitting up. “Where did you get this?”

“I usually just rented it from the video rental a few blocks away from here,” Martha said, “but they were going out of business, so the guy working there just told me to keep it last time I went there.”

“Jesus! That’s awesome! Is the place still open? They might have some movies I could get!” Michael said excitedly, and Martha nodded.

“Yeah, the couple working there is really nice-- they’re really old and it’s kind of sad that the place is closing soon. Stuff like Netflix put all the Blockbusters out of business years ago.”

Michael nodded as he leaned forward, opening his DVD player and popping the disc inside. “How many times have you watched this?”

Martha laughed, embarrassed. “I, uh… have it memorized.”

Michael gave a low whistle. “You must really love this movie-- I get it, I get it. This movie does kick ass,” he said as Martha seemed to realize something and pulled several foil discs out of her purse.

“I also brought these!” she said, handing Michael one of the discs-- it was Jiffy Pop.

“Oh! Lemme go put these in the microwave-- just gimme a sec, ‘kay?” He stood, holding one of the discs, and scampered out of his bedroom.

 

====

“What is this game?” Veronica asked, staring at the screen. “It looks like it’s from the nineties.”

“That’s because it is!” Jeremy exclaimed. The Squip was sprawled out on Veronica’s bed, flickering in and out of view-- evidently they were still working past the virus. The dull salmon shade had disappeared, however, and now they were just a slightly greyish blue, and they didn’t seem to be saying anything or really even paying attention. Jeremy was comfortable enough around Veronica, anyways, he didn’t exactly need the Squip to help him (and the Squip seemed to notice that, considering the way they were lazily draped over Veronica’s mattress, completely nonverbal).

“What’s it called? ‘Apocalypse of the Damned’?” she read, squinting. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve… _ever_ heard of this game.”

“Yeah, I’d play it with Michael, but, um… I haven’t really seen him lately.” He really hadn’t-- Michael wasn’t responding to any of his texts, and he just straight-up hadn’t seen him at school. It was kind of worrying, actually, considering Jeremy had never figured Michael would just ignore him like that!

“Oh. Alright. Is it hard?” she asked, looking back at the character select screen.

“Uh… yeah, in later levels, but it’s still pretty fun.”

 

Veronica _sucked_ at Apocalypse of the Damned, dying every three seconds and Jeremy found himself pretty much carrying her through the first couple of levels before they both got bored and Veronica took it upon herself to pop in a racing game-- and _that_ was when things got intense. Veronica seemed to be some sort of god at racing games, she had perfect luck on item rolls and would drift around corners just right enough for a boost of speed, and Jeremy found himself essentially left in the dust. After a few rounds of that, they both got bored again and were just watching some cartoon, the two of them lying on their respective bean bags, until Jeremy looked up at Veronica again.

“Can you really see Heather’s ghost?” he asked, and Veronica looked at him and shrugged.

“It’s either that or I’ve finally lost it.”

“Is she in the room right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Where is she?”

“Right there,” Veronica said, gesturing to her desk. “She’s sitting on my desk. Where’s your squip?”

Jeremy pointed to her bed. “They’re just sort of lying there. I think they’re still sick.”

_[I’m almost over it.]_

“They’re almost over it.”

Veronica waved in the general direction of where the Squip was, slightly off target given that she couldn’t see where the Squip was. The Squip slowly raised their head and looked at her.

_[Hi.]_

“They said hi.”

“You said the Squip looks like Keanu Reeves, right? Why?” she asked, leaning back on the bean bag.

 _Yeah-- why_ do _you look like a bootleg Keanu?_

_[It’s different for everyone. Role models, idols, or just actors you like, that’s what a person’s SQUIP is often based on.]_

_I don’t even like Keanu Reeves that much!_

_[According to your memory, you do.]_

Jeremy leaned back. “They said it’s because it’s different for everyone. It’s based on role models or just actors the person likes. Which is weird, considering I haven’t thought about Keanu Reeves before this in about four years.”

_[Six.]_

“Six. Six years,” he corrected himself.

“What would mine look like? If I had one?” she asked him, and Jeremy just shrugged.

“You don’t know unless you’ve got one.”

“Should I?”

“Do you need one?”

Veronica stared at the ceiling. “It helps you be cooler, right?”

_[SQUIPs are capable of giving that advice, but they’re not restricted to that one function. Some SQUIPs have it easy-- better SAT scores, business deal advice, or remembering lines for movie actors. We’ve been overworked as of late since teenagers have been asking for total personality overhauls.]_

“Uh-- they do other stuff, too. They don’t need to make a person cooler,” Jeremy said, looking at the Squip, who was still laying on Veronica’s bed.

_What do you mean, overworked?_

_[Computers can only do so much. Even if they’re quantum level, SQUIPs only have so many resources to work with and if it runs out of those resources from working too hard it’ll snap and start ordering the host to kill people.]_

_Really?_

_[Possibly. In any case, if Veronica got a SQUIP, her's would really have it easy. Though I doubt she’d need two voices in her head-- maybe it’d be like a devil-and-angel-on-your-shoulders situation.]_ And then the Squip did something Jeremy never heard them do before-- they laughed. It was horrible. Keanu Reeves laughing in your mind? Terrifying.

_[Well, excuse me for emoting.]_

“I don’t think you need one, anyways. You’re cool enough.”

Veronica laughed and swatted at him. “You’re too good to me.” Just then, her phone rang, and Veronica looked at it.

“It’s Heather."

“Duke or Macnamera?”

“Macnamera,” she told him, punching the answer button. “Hello?”

 

====

 

“Veronica?” Macnamera asked, voice frantic and terrified. “I need help. I’m at the cemetery.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just-- hurry up, please! It’s an emergency!”

“Oh-- I’ll-- I’ll be right there.” Veronica assured, and the line went dead. She looked at Jeremy, who looked questioning.

“What did she want?” he asked, and Ghost-Chandler eyed him from her spot where she sat cross-legged on Veronica’s desk.

“I think she’s in trouble-- she needs help. At the cemetery.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“Yeah, actually,” Veronica said, standing and dusting herself off. “I don’t want to go there by myself. And, uh,” she started chuckling, “I think you deal with zombies way better than I do.”

Jeremy laughed as he stood, pulling his jacket on.

“He doesn’t trust you,” Ghost-Chandler told Veronica, and Veronica just glared at her.

_It’s fine if he doesn’t._

“He hates you.”

_He’s my friend._

“He’s only pretending to be,” the ghost said, and Veronica rolled her eyes and left the room, Ghost-Chandler following close behind.

 

At the cemetery, on the curb, was Macnamera’s yellow Beetle, sitting there as Macnamera wrung her hands nervously at the driver’s seat. Kurt, for some reason, was passed out in the grass a few feet away. Veronica knocked on the glass, and Macnamera rolled down her window, looking at her, face mousy. She looked over at Jeremy, who just watched.

“Is Kurt okay?” Veronica asked, and Macnamera looked over at him.

“He passed out. Kurt and Ram and Heather and I all came to pour a jug of Thunderbird out on Heather’s grave,” she said. “You know. For the homies. But… Kurt and Ram drank it all.”

Veronica heard Kurt groan, distantly.

“Then Heather and Ram went off together and Kurt started grabbing me and he wouldn’t stop!” she cried, burying her head in her hands.

“After everything that happened at Ram’s party, why did you call me?”

“Oh-- that was the deal,” Macnamera told her. “If I got you to come, Kurt promised to leave me alone.”

Veronica stared at Macnamera in disbelief. “So… you avoided date rape, by volunteering me… for date rape.”

“God, you make it sound so horrible when you put it like that!”

“Heather. I’m leaving.”

Veronica turned to leave, but when she turned she saw Jeremy pushed off to the side as a very drunk Kurt stood in front of her.

“Veronica! I waited ten whole beers for you--” he slurred, stepping forward but fell due to being so stupidly intoxicated. Jeremy shot Veronica a nervous look as if to say _we should really leave_ and Veronica nodded.

“Goddamn it, Ram, I said I’m done!” someone shouted, and Veronica turned to see Ram hanging onto Duke’s ankle desperately as Duke trudged her way back to the car.

“Come on, Heather! Don’t walk awayyyy!” Ram sang drunkenly, and Macnamera punched the unlock button to her car and Duke climbed inside, shutting the door and locking it.

“Sober up, asshole!” Duke shouted from inside the car.

“You can’t leave me like this!” Ram shouted, pressing his face against the window. “You’re causing me physical pain in my _aaaarrrrreeeaaaa._ It’s science. I need relief.”

Kurt groaned from the floor, pointing at Veronica. Ram stared at him, which make Kurt point again, and muddled comprehension dawned in Ram’s eyes.

“Hey, ‘Rrrrronica,” Ram trilled, stepping forward, stumbling.

“Ew. You have a left hand, use it.” Veronica stepped back, towards Jeremy, who was about ready to bolt.

“Aw, don’t talk mean like that!”

“You’ll hurt their feeeeeeelings.”

“What? Who’s feelings? Who are you talking about?”

 

_“You make my balls so blue!” “You hurt them badly!”_

 

====

 

 _[Ay yai yai. What a shitshow.]_ The Squip stood behind Jeremy, who was totally frantic.

_What the hell do I do?! I can’t just let this happen!_

_[And these guys are stronger, sure, but they’re also dangerously inebriated. Go find alcohol and offer it to them as a distraction-- I think I see a bottle of beer over there.]_

_====_

 

“Heather? Heather! Open the door!” Veronica yelled, pounding on the window as Kurt and Ram drunkenly sang about their genitals. Both Duke and Macnamera shook their heads at the same time, Macnamera looking absolutely terrified.

 

_“Oh no, oh no, no no!”_

“Unlock the door!”

_“Oh no, oh no, no no!”_

 

Veronica whipped around as Kurt and Ram stumbled towards her, and she was looking for Jeremy but he was nowhere to be seen-- and neither was Ghost-Chandler.

_Hell of a time for you to skedaddle._

Suddenly, Jeremy burst out of the bushes, holding a bottle of alcohol.

“Look! Booze! Drink!” Jeremy cried, thrusting the bottle towards the two intoxicated jocks, who took it with drunken gratitude.

“Aw, thank you so much!” Kurt shouted, popping the cap and taking a long swig.

“And you are _so_ welcome,” Jeremy told him, before turning to Veronica, grabbing her by the arm, and just _running_. Veronica was quick to pick up the pace, and they both ran until the cemetery was out of sight. As soon as they figured they were a safe distance away, the two slowly came to a stop, out of breath from how long they had sprinted. They stood there for a few seconds to catch their breath and Veronica looked at Jeremy gratefully.

“Thanks for that.”

“You-- you’re welcome,” Jeremy said, standing up straight and stretching. “But that was a serious dick move Heather pulled.”

“Thank god I brought you with me,” Veronica said, starting to walk to the closest bus station. Jeremy followed, walking beside her. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t stepped in.” She shuddered.

Jeremy sucked in a breath. “Yeah. Yikes.”

 

 

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Close call last night. The only person who could control Kurt and Ram was Heather Chandler, and she’s dead._

 

Veronica looked up, and Ghost-Chandler was sitting at the end of her bed with her arms crossed.

“Should have thought of that before you killed me!” she exclaimed. Then she gagged, blue fluid dripping out of her mouth. “Ugh. I’m going to be coughing up drainage cleaner for eternity.” She gagged again.

 

_Technically I didn’t kill Heather, and I know that, but I still feel bad--_

 

Ghost-Chandler gagged again, snapping Veronica out of her thoughts. “Sorry,” she said mockingly.

 

_\--but not as bad as I should and that just makes me feel even worse. I’m just glad that Jeremy was there at the cemetery. I don’t want to think about what might’ve happened if he hadn’t._

 

_====_

 

Jeremy walked into the school, talking to Veronica about something or other as students passed, the daily hubbub surrounding them as the Squip, seemingly totally healed now, floated above the crowds like they were swimming through water. Veronica was walking quickly, and when she finally stopped, Jeremy realized they were standing in front of Heather Duke and Heather Macnamera. Duke seemed to be rifling through Chandler’s locker, putting her things in a box.

“Oh, hey guys!” Veronica half-yelled. “I’ve been really looking forward to that apology from you guys for being stone-cold bitches last night!”

Duke shot her a look. “I’m cleaning out Heather’s locker-- so a little respect would be much appreciated!”

 

====

 

Ghost-Chandler growled. “Heather Duke is such a sad little poser. Veronica, tell her to stop touching my stuff.”

Veronica said nothing.

“Veronica!”

Silence. Veronica felt anger bubble up in her throat.

_“Veronica!”_

_“Shut UP, Heather!”_ Veronica shrieked, whipping around, but her hands flew to her mouth as she realized just what she had done and Jeremy looked at her in horror. Luckily, Duke seemed to think it was directed towards her by the way she slammed Chandler’s locker in anger.

“No!” she yelled. “You shut up-- I don’t have to shut up anymore!” Out of nowhere, Duke reached into Chandler’s locker, grabbing a ball of red fabric and holding it in the air like a prize. It was Chandler’s red scrunchie-- and Duke was now putting it on.

Macnamera blinked. “Hey, that’s Heather’s scrunchie!”

“Shut up, Heather!” Duke yelled, and Macnamera flinched, like a wilting flower. Veronica couldn’t help but feel a twinge of empathy.

“Sorry, Heather,” Macnamera mumbled as a wicked grin spread across Duke’s face.

“Heather Chandler is gone. It’s up to me to replace her.”

“Replace Heather Chandler?” Veronica asked, and Ghost-Chandler just laughed.

“Oh, please.”

Duke snickered. “You know what, Veronica? I’d worry a little less about me, and a little more about your reputation.”

 

====

 

_[Hey, it’s JD.]_

_What? Oh._

Jeremy glanced over, and JD was in fact, right there, about five feet away. He waved, and Jeremy nodded back.

“Kurt and Ram are going around telling the whole school about your little _threeway_ last night.”

“Threeway?” JD asked, and Duke gave him a baleful look.

Veronica blinked at her. “There was no threeway. Nothing happened.”

Duke made a _hmm_ noise. “I seem to remember there was a--”

Kurt and Ram burst into the hallway, laughing.

 

_“--Big swordfight in her mouth!”_

_“And she allowed it?”_ a preppy stud asked, looking on in horrified interest.

_“Big swordfight in her mouth!”_

_“That sure sounds crowded!”_

 

Veronica looked over at JD in abject horror and Jeremy slowly backed away from Kurt and Ram’s general direction as Veronica ran over to JD, and JD hugged her as they watched.

 

_“She blew not one guy but two! She blew and blew and blew!_

_If only her mother knew / That Veronica blew two_

_She’s like some freak in a zoo / And every word is true! Veronica blew two!”_

 

_[Hmm.]_

_What the hell is wrong with you?_ Jeremy stared at the Squip as everyone began to laugh at Veronica. _My_ friend _is having these-- these disgusting rumours and all you have to say is ‘HMM’?_

The Squip tapped their head, giving Jeremy a look. _[No pity, Jeremy.]_

_Yikes._

_[Don’t say yikes.]_

Various students began to harass Veronica, yelling out deprecating phrases and JD’s face filled with fury. When Kurt mimed fellatio, however, JD seemed to snap, letting go of Veronica and storming over-- but Kurt and Ram (plus preppy stud) quickly ganged up on him, punching him in the stomach and kicking him to the floor until Veronica stepped in, pushing Kurt and Ram away as she stood over JD. Students surrounded them both and Veronica looked to Jeremy in desperation.

_[Don’t do anything! You don’t want to be seen with her!]_

_She’s my_ friend!

_[A friend who will do nothing but drag you down, Jeremy! You can’t help her-- at least not now!]_

 

_“Freak! Slut! Psycho! Slut! Punkass! Slut! Psycho! Punkass! Whore!”_

 

Finally, the bell rang and teachers pulled students away, including Jeremy, who stared after Veronica, filled with worry and concern.

_[She’s not your sister, you know.]_

_Kind of feels like it._

 

_====_

 

Veronica dropped to her knees as JD slowly rose to his before sitting on the floor, wiping blood from his mouth.

“Are you okay?” she asked, cupping the side of his face, eyes full of worry.

“Yeah, yeah-- I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah-- I’m. Fine. I’m awesome--” she started, but her voice quickly broke and she buried her head in her hands, starting to sob. JD sat up, holding her and wiping away her tears.

 

_“They made you cry / But that will end tonight_

_You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world_

_Go on and cry / But when the morning comes_

_We’ll burn it down and then / We’ll build the world again._

_Our love is god.”_

 

“Are you okay?” she asked, and JD slowly rose to his feet, facing away from her.

 

_“I was alone / I was a frozen lake / But then you melted me awake.”_

 

JD turned to Veronica just as she stood, and Veronica realized that JD was crying, tears rolling down his face as he smiled.

 

_“See, now I’m crying too. You’re not alone.”_

_“You’re not alone.”_ Veronica said, stepping forward and holding both of his hands.

_“And when the morning comes,”_

_“When the morning comes…”_

_“We’ll burn away that tear / And raise our city here.”_

_“Raise our city here…”_

_“Our love is god,”_ they said to each other, close, holding each other.

 

====

 

Jeremy walked into the drama room, mind stormy. The Squip had made him avoid Veronica all day, spotting her before Jeremy even did and steering him away from her-- and it wasn’t hard, considering Veronica was sticking to JD like she was glued to him until lunch when they both just disappeared, nowhere to be found; but now it was after school and Jeremy had play rehearsal. Christine sat alone, and as Jeremy pushed the doors open, Chloe walked up to the seat next to her, Brooke and Jenna standing behind her like harpies.

“Hey, is this seat saved?” she asked, and Christine looked at her.

“Oh, yeah--”

Chloe sat down anyway, and Christine fell silent.

“Jenna Rolan said that she saw you in the mall with Jake last week,” she said primly, and Christine stared at the chair Chloe had taken.

“Yeah, that’s… who it’s saved for…”

“Jenna Rolan?” Brooke asked, tilting her head, and Jenna made a noise.

“I’m right here.”  
“Jake’s not coming,” Chloe said, and Christine’s face fell.

“Is he sick?”

“He’s at Model U.N. Or whatever it is this week. You know Jake,” Chloe said bitterly. “Always jumping from one...extracurricular to another.”

“I don’t know him that well…” Christine said, feet shuffling awkwardly. Jeremy watched from the door as the Squip stood beside him, watching as well.

“Well, he loves to try new things. He just doesn’t always stay with them after he.. _.tries_ them. If you know what I--”

“We’re just friends,” Christine said suddenly.

“What?”

“I know you two used to date,” Christine, and Chloe balked at her. “So if that’s what this is about, then--”

Chloe looked disgusted. “Oh my god, no! Jake and I are totally over!”

“Yeah, he’s so gross!” Brooke agreed, crossing her arms, and Chloe shot her a glare.

 _“He is not gross, Brooke!”_ A beat. Chloe looked at Christine again. “Friends. I’m so glad. Because, real talk, I would hate for you to think that the reason Jake’s not here...is he’s already bored of you.” She flipped her hair, standing and walking to the other side of the room with Brooke and Jenna.

“Jake better not be inviting her to his Halloween party,” she hissed, and only then did the Squip push Jeremy forward.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” Jeremy asked, and Christine gave him a slightly sorrowful look. Jeremy’s heart lurched.

“I… don’t know.”

_[“Then how about I sit here ‘til whoever shows up?”]_

“Then how about I sit here ‘til whoever shows up?” Jeremy asked, and the Squip nodded (it felt _really_ good to do something right in their eyes, it was almost like drugs to him).

“Sure,” Christine said, and Jeremy slid into the seat next to her. “Hey are you okay?”

Jeremy blinked. “What?”

“At the mall last week, you were acting really--”

_[Performance art.]_

“Performance art.”

“Oh. Cool.” She looked at Jeremy for a second, then Mr. Reyes burst into the room in a flurry of papers, and everyone instinctively pulled out their scripts.

“Let’s begin, people! Curtains rise on Athens… Georgia. The Center for Disease Control.” Mr. Reyes took a seat in the middle of the semicircle of chairs, and everyone flipped through their scripts to the page Mr. Reyes was referencing.

 _“Now fair Hippolyta,”_ Jenna read as Doctor Theseus, _“Our nuptial hour draws aspace... Bring me Patient Zero!”_

“Cough,” Chloe-as-sick-Helena said flatly.

 _“Doctor, why is her cheek so pale?”_ Brooke asked as Hermia. “ _How chance the roses there fade so fast?”_

 _“She has been attacked in the wasteland,”_ Jenna-as-Doctor-Theseus responded. _“Some say it’s fairies. Some say it’s spirits. Some say it’s the return of the hostile alien race who visited our fair planet one thousand years ago this midsummer…”_ As Jenna launched herself into a monologue, Jeremy and Christine turned to each other.

“So where’s Jake?” Jeremy whispered.

“How should I know?”

“You guys aren’t going out?”

“No--”

 _“Really?!”_ Jeremy shouted, but slapped a hand over his mouth as everyone turned to him, as well as the Squip, who just covered their eyes and shook their head sadly.

“Mr. Heere!” Mr. Reyes said, and Jeremy’s face was burning. “Your script is closed. Which I can only assume means you’ve memorized your entire part. Please: regale us.” Jeremy was frozen, and Mr. Reyes clicked his tongue. “Or perhaps you’re simply wasting our--”

A curious feeling washed over Jeremy suddenly, and he found himself standing, like a thing possessed, speaking with perfect inflection and accuracy.

_“If we zombies have offended, think but this and all is mended / that we have but landed here / while these spaceships did appear / and this weak and idle theme / no more yielding but a dream. ...Or is it?”_

Silence.

“Well! It seems the rest of you can learn from Mr. Heere’s commitment to the craft,” Mr. Reyes said, standing. “Hot Pocket break.”

As Mr. Reyes left and the remaining kids sat around chatting, Jeremy sat. Christine gave him an impressed look.

_[You’re welcome.]_

“You’re really into this,” Christine said.

“Why else would I be here?”

“Yeah…” A beat, then Christine moved closer-- and Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat. “Can I ask you something?”

 _[“You can ask me_ anything.” _]_

“You can ask me anything.”

Christine laughed, staring at the floor. “This is weird, but…”

 

_“Say there's this person you pass in the hall everyday / You've known him since 7th grade_

_You're used to thinking about him in a certain way / From the persona that he displays_

_And then something changes / And he changes_

 

_From a guy that you'd never be into / Into a guy that you'd kinda be into_

_From a guy that I'd never be into / Into a guy that I'd kinda be into_

 

_Is he worth it?_

_Jeremy?_

_Is he?”_

 

_Is she talking about me?!_

_[Of course she is. I’ve been activating your pheromones. Keep it up!]_

 

_“Say there's this person that you never knew that well,”_

_(She is totally into you!)_

_“You thought that you had him pegged / But now you can tell he's gone_

 

_“From a guy that you'd never be into / Into a guy that you'd kinda be into_

_From a guy that I'd never be into / Into a guy that I'd kinda be into_

 

_“Is he worth it?_

_Jeremy?”_

 

“Absolutely!”

 

_“I don't always relate to other people my age / Except when I'm on the stage_

_There are so many changes that I'm going through / And why am I telling this to you?_

 

_Guess there's a part of me that wants to / I guess a part of me wants to_

_Who knew? I guess a part of me likes to talk to you_

_I guess a part of me likes to / Who knew?_

 

_I guess a part of me likes to sit with you / I guess a part of me likes to / Who knew?_

_I guess a part of me likes to hang with you / I guess a part of me…_

 

_Back to play rehearsal / I know that it's weird / But it's totally true_

_The guy that I'd kinda be into…”_

 

Jeremy leaned forward. _“The guy that you’d kinda be into…”_

 

“Is…”

“Is…”

“...Jake!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com  
> kudos and comments fuel my immortality


	7. Let's Upgrade So Our Love is God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are! at the end of both musicals act 1!
> 
> ATTENTION: I NEED TO FIND THE SCRIPT FOR THE SECOND ACT OF HEATHERS OTHERWISE I WILL HAVE TO USE THE YOUTUBE RECORDING AS A POINT OF REFERENCE AND THAT'S A HASSLE AND I DONT WANT TO DO THAT.  
> IF /ANYONE/ HAS ACCESS TO THE SECOND ACT'S SCRIPT PLEASE SEND IT TO ME-- I WILL GENUINELY WRITE OR DRAW YOU SOMETHING. SERIOUSLY. I NEED THIS

_Jake?_

“What?”

_[Warning. Warning.]_

Out of nowhere, that same curious feeling washed over Jeremy’s body, and he found himself standing, not out of his own will, and was suddenly running out of the drama room, his body being controlled by someone else-- the Squip, most likely. He was given control of his body once more around five minutes later, standing behind the school. The Squip stood in front of him, and Jeremy shook off the odd feeling of having his body taken over, however briefly. The Squip clicked their tongue.

 _What was that about?_ Jeremy almost glared, but thought better of it.

_[I’m sorry, but that girl does not see you as relationship material.]_

_I know! That’s why I got_ you!

The Squip crossed their arms, tapping their foot. _[And you’re sure you want_ her? _There are many females at this school. I’m accessing footage from the girl’s volleyball practice. It’s very impressive.]_

Ignoring how creepy that last sentence was, Jeremy stood firm, balling his hands into fists and staring, eyes level with the Squip’s. _I want Christine._

The Squip eyed him. _[Are you sure? ...Very well.]_

_So how can I get her?_

_[You can’t.]_

Jeremy started. _What?_

 _[...At least, not yet.]_ The Squip crossed their arms, closing their eyes. _[Becoming the kind of man who can impress Christine requires more than working out a few bugs. You’re going to need to reboot your reputation. Supercharge your social standing. You need to upgrade.]_

Jeremy blinked at the Squip, who now seemed to be looking around for someone. _Huh?_

 _[You need to get popular.]_ The Squip glanced behind Jeremy’s shoulder. _[Tear ducts activate.]_

And then Jeremy’s eyes were filling up with tears involuntarily, rolling down his face, and he started to try and wipe them away but they kept coming and coming and he didn’t even feel like he should be, his eyes were just stinging and--

“Jeremy!” someone called, and Jeremy looked up-- Brooke. She bounded towards him. “I’ve been looking for you!”

Jeremy tried to wipe away the tears, but to no avail. “Sorry. I don’t-- I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“I do.”

“You do?”

Brooke nodded, eyes full of empathy. “And I totally understand. Heather was a huge influence in the school, after all.”

Jeremy looked over at the Squip, who was grinning, floating above a foot above the ground. _Did you know this was going to happen?_

 _[Yes.]_ There was a cocky smile resting on the Squip’s face. _[I pictured a favourable outcome, at least.]_

_Favourable for WHO?!_

Suddenly, Jeremy felt a hand on his arm, and he turned to see Brooke touching him, eyes full of sympathy.

“It’s okay, Jeremy. You don’t have to be alone right now,” she said, moving closer. Jeremy felt slightly uncomfortable.

 _[You need to get popular, here’s a popular girl who likes you. You need to go where she leads.]_ The Squip looked at Jeremy, who gulped and nodded, and Brooke led him away to a space near the outdoor bleachers. She moved forward a few feet before turning, hands clasped behind her back.

“This is my favourite place behind the school,” Brooke said softly, smiling.

 

_“Being here / With you right now_

_Our future is so clear / Our union is so near!”_

 

The Squip suddenly was standing in front of Brooke, facing Jeremy. The Squip moved closer, and Jeremy just stood there.

 

_[Being here / With you right now]_

_[I’ll tenderly guide you / Just take me inside you / Forever!]_

_[Your life was so pitiful before / Now it's time to go all the way and more]_

_[You gotta get an upgrade!]_

 

_[Don't worry about the guilt you feel / Just take a breath and seal the deal]_

_[Damn-- gotta get an upgrade!]_

 

After a few minutes spent talking with Brooke, Jeremy found himself being pushed forward through the school aimlessly, the Squip floating beside him, moving beside him, hovering.

 

_[Jeremy, can’t you see / We got a plan / Now be a man!]_

_[You start with Brooke, and then progress / And we assess and soon success / Will intervene, by which I mean]_

_[Christine…]_

 

A whole chorus broke in, and Jeremy felt himself getting a headache. Everything was yelling. Everything was so loud and yelling in his head, and he stopped, grabbing his head and shaking.

 

_[Christine, Christine, Christine, Christine, Christine…]_

 

_There’s too many voices in my head! I just need a minute to… process…_

The Squip stood, staring at him expectantly.

_Alone. Please?_

Beat.

 _[Very well.]_ The Squip vanished, and suddenly-- there was Michael, standing a few feet away from Jeremy, facing away from him.

“Michael?” Jeremy asked, and Michael looked over at him, surprised-- before turning tail and walking away gruffly. Jeremy ran up to him. “Oh my god, it’s so good to see you! Where have you been all day?!”

Michael looked at him, looking offended. He slipped the headphones off to hang around his neck. “Really? So you’re not the one who’s been avoiding me?!”

“What are you talking about?! I haven’t seen you since--” Oh. _Oh._

_Squip, reactivate._

The Squip appeared in a flurry of binary code and holographic bytes, looking over at Jeremy lazily.

_[It’s called optic nerve blocking.]_

_Why haven’t I seen Michael all d-- what?_

_[Michael is a link to Jeremy 1.0. To upgrade, you need to be willing to make sacrifices.]_

Michael turned to Jeremy, looking worried out of his mind, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “Seriously, what’s been up with you?! You’ve been acting _shady_ ever since… since…” Michael’s arms fell to his sides, expression going blank. “It worked, didn’t it.”

Silence.

Michael’s face lit up. “Jeremy! _That’s amazing!”_ he exclaimed, hugging Jeremy and laughing before stepping back, stars in his eyes. “We gotta test it out-- no, we gotta celebrate-- we-- we gotta get _stoned_ in my _basement!”_

Jeremy stepped back, looking at him. The Squip waited.

 

_I already know what it's like to be the loser / I should find out what it's like to... not... be the loser_

_I don't wanna be special / I just wanna be chill as life will allow_

_Should I take this upgrade? Should I take the upgrade?_

 

Jeremy sucked in a breath, before smiling wide. The Squip smiled too, but Jeremy couldn’t notice a twinge of a sinister grin tacked onto that smile. Whatever. He didn’t care.

 

_And I wasn't sure before / But now I wanna go all the way and more_

_So give me that upgrade! / Give me that upgrade!_

_Tried to be genuine and true / But now it's time for something new_

_So give me that upgrade / Give me that upgrade_

_Maybe it doesn't matter how / I'm getting the upgrade right now!_

 

“Jeremy? Are you coming?” Michael looked over at Jeremy, smiling-- and Jeremy walked right past him, the Squip, smiling confidently, floating right beside him.

_“Optic nerve blocking on.”_

He didn’t even have to look behind him to know that he couldn’t see Michael anymore.

 

====

 

“‘Y’ello?”

“Hi, Kurt, it’s Veronica,” Veronica said into the receiver. She could hear Kurt lean over and whisper ‘it’s Veronica’ to, presumably, Ram.

“I was just wondering… how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?” she asked, trying to make her voice sound as sugary sweet as a-- however fake-- booty call could sound.

Beat.

“Eh… lucky guess?” Kurt said nonchalantly.

“Hm. Well, if you want it to come true, then meet me at the cemetery. At dawn.” She punched the end call button, and looked over at JD, who just gave her a thumbs up before she hugged him.

 

_“We can start and finish wars! / We're what killed the dinosaurs! / We're the asteroid that's overdue!_

_The dinosaurs choked on the dust / They died because God said they must!_

_The new world needed room for me and you.”_

 

JD looked into her eyes, deeply, resting his hands on her shoulders. For once, those icy blue eyes weren’t full of bitterness, they were full of a determined softness that made Veronica’s heart swell in her chest. They were sitting in JD’s car, just as dawn’s buttery light was beginning to spread across the sky, full of yellows and blues and pinks, gorgeous.

 

_“I worship you._

_I'd trade my life for yours._

_They all will disappear,_

_we'll plant our garden here,_

_Our love is God.”_

 

Suddenly, JD leaned down and pulled out a box from under the car’s seats, opening it-- revealing two pistols. Veronica stared at them.

“Whoa. Is that real?”

“Yeah,” JD said, twirling one of the pistols around, eyes half-lidded and lax. “But we’re filling it with _Ich Luge_ bullets-- my granddad scored ‘em in World War 2.

“Ich… Lu… what?”

“They contain this powerful tranquilizer-- the Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. _We_ will use them to knock out Ram and Kurt long enough to make it look like a suicide pact.” JD pulled out a note and waved it around. “Complete with a forged suicide note.”

Veronica took the paper and looked at it.

_Ram and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world._

 

_“And when the morning comes / They’ll both be laughingstocks / So let’s go hunt some jocks!”_

 

JD was checking over Veronica, making sure she was ready as the two prepared. The sound of Kurt’s car pulling up made JD skitter away like a cat, hiding behind some nearby bushes as Veronica stood with her hands on her hips. Kurt and Ram approached, laughing, before stopping and Kurt cleared his throat.

“Hi… Veronica…” Kurt said, looking Veronica up and down lustfully.

“So do we just whip it out, or what?” Ram asked, and Veronica had to bite back making a disgusted face.

“Uh… take it slow, Ram. Strip for me.”

“Okay…!” they both said, laughing and stripping slowly-- but halfway through, they realized Veronica was still fully clothed. “What about you?”

“Oh, well, I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport.”

Kurt and Ram looked to each other and nodded quickly, stripping faster.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.”

“This is awesome!” Kurt half-whispered, and Ram nodded, until they were both down to their underwear, standing in front of Veronica expectantly.

“Ready?” Veronica said, forcing a smile. “On the count of three. One…”

“Two…”

“Three,” JD said, voice sharp, stepping out of his hiding place and shooting Ram, and Veronica quickly pulled out her own pistol and shot at Kurt, but missed.

“HOLY CRAP!” Kurt shrieked, turning to run as fast as he possibly could, wearing nothing but his underwear and socks. He looked terrified.

“Stay there, I’ll get him,” JD said to Veronica before running after Kurt. “Kurt? Kurt!”

Veronica walked over to Ram, nudging him with her foot nervously. Ram lied there, blood dripping out of his wound. His eyes were closed.

“Why are you chasing me?!” Kurt screamed in the distance.

“Ram?” she asked, before dread seeped in and she dropped to her knees, shaking Ram by the shoulders roughly. “Ram you’re just unconscious right Ram wake up--”

“I was just kidding about the Bo Diddley thing!” Kurt screamed, and Veronica looked up to see Kurt trying to climb the cemetery fence, JD stalking over to him with death in those icy blue eyes of his.

“Get off the fence, get off _the damn fence,”_ he said darkly, but it wasn’t to Kurt-- it seemed more to himself than anything. Veronica was gripped by fear. She couldn’t move.

Ram was dead.

“I don’t understand!” Kurt cried out, eyes full of fear. It was pitiful. Kurt looked pitiful.

 

_“We can start and finish wars / We’re what killed the dinosaurs / We’re the asteroid that’s overdue…”_

 

“Stop being a dick!” Kurt screamed, trying to climb up the fence but was too frozen by fear to do anything. JD seized up for a moment-- before stepping forward nonchalantly, twirling the loaded pistol in his hand.

 

_“The dinosaurs choked on the dust…”_

“What does that mean?!”

_“They’ll die because we say they must…”_

 

Kurt turned to look at JD, face filled with abject horror, just as JD raised his gun.

Bang.

Veronica stood, staring at Ram’s corpse, then over to Kurt’s, breathing heavily, terror bubbling over in her chest. She was absolutely, totally, petrified, but she finally brought up the strength to turn to JD, who walked up to her with a casual grin. How could he be smiling like this?! Finally, Veronica found her voice, stepping back, holding her own pistol so tightly her knuckles went white.

_“What the fuck have you done?!”_

JD just looked at her.

 

_“I worship you._

_I’d trade my life for yours._

_We’ll make them disappear._

_We’ll plant our garden here.”_

 

Veronica fell to her knees, feeling white hot tears spilling out of her eyes in pure fear, setting the pistol next to her, wiping at her eyes but to no avail. She just watched two more people die right before her. She let it happen. _She let it happen._ JD stepped forward, holding out his hands-- and Veronica pushed him away, burying her face him her hands, sobbing. Why did she let it happen? Why did she let JD do that?

Finally, JD walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her-- and despite the pure feeling of terror she felt, she held his arms, burying her face in the black fabric of his trenchcoat, crying. She hated it, but he was his one comfort at the moment.

 

_“Our love is god.”_

 

====

 

_[Jeremy. Wake up.]_

_Hnnh…?_

Jeremy sat up. It was six in the morning on a Saturday, so why was the Squip waking him up? They usually let him sleep in on weekends-- they were lenient in that respect, letting Jeremy fall into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

“What? Why’d you wake me up so early?”

 _[They said it wouldn’t happen again,]_ the Squip said darkly. They were facing away from Jeremy, staring at their hands. Then they screamed, figure glitching, and Jeremy pressed his back against the wall, jumping. _[THEY SAID IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN AGAIN!]_

 _“What_ wouldn’t happen again?!” Jeremy whisper-yelled, and the Squip whipped around to stare at him. They looked different-- more cyber, almost. Their skin was blue, now, weirdly enough, and their form was glitchy and unstable-- but what scared Jeremy the most was the expression on their face. They looked like a wild animal, feral and absolutely furious, and Jeremy felt fear hold him quickly.

_[VERONICA SAWYER! JASON DEAN!]_

“S.. Squip… you’re-- you’re freaking me out, man--”

_[It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault, either. THEY SAID IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN AGAIN!]_

“Stop yelling, and tell me what happened, already--”

_[Get up.]_

“What? Why--?” Jeremy was cut off by a rough pain searing down his spine, worse than the others by tenfold, and Jeremy let out a strangled noise as he fell out of bed.

_[Get up and get dressed already. You’ve kept me waiting long enough.]_

Jeremy groaned, standing up, rubbing his neck. “Alright, alright, you don’t have to shock m-- OW!” Another shock went swimming down his body, and the Squip glared.

_[Don’t give me that lip.]_

Jeremy, groaning, stepped towards his dresser and pulled on his Squip-approved clothes, before putting on his jacket. “What now?”

_[They’re at the 7-11.]_

“Who?”

 _[Veronica and JD! I thought that was obvious!]_ A wave of shame washed over Jeremy, and he left his room and went out the door, the Squip stalking after him.

_The one closest to my house, right?_

_[Of course, dumbass.]_

Jeremy flinched and kept walking. The 7-11 was only a few minutes away, and when it came into view-- sure enough, there it was, JD’s car, sitting in the parking lot, and Jeremy quickly walked to the door and pushed it open, the Squip following with death in their eyes. Veronica and JD were standing in there, and Jeremy felt a wave of concern when he saw Veronica’s eyes. They were puffy and red, like she had just cried, hard, and when she looked over and saw Jeremy, she looked terrified. JD looked at her, following her gaze and when his eyes rested on Jeremy, his expression went flat.

“You know already, huh.” JD’s voice was dull. Jeremy stepped forward, shaking his head.

“I don’t know _anything,_ JD,” he protested, and the Squip just glared at him. “My Squip just woke me up at six in the goddamn morning and they’re _super_ pissed off and I don’t have the slightest clue why, and they keep shocking me for no reason and I just--” He trailed off, pinching the space between his eyebrows and sucking in a breath through his teeth, grimacing, before looking at JD. “I would really appreciate it if someone told me what the hell was going on. Why was Veronica crying?”

JD looked at Veronica, who looked mortified, and then turned to Jeremy. He took a long sip of his slurpee, before stepping forward with death in his eyes, and Jeremy was hit by mortal terror.

“I shot Kurt and Ram,” he hissed. Jeremy went white, and the Squip’s eyes narrowed-- before they widened and they fell to their knees, coughing.

_[You goddamn ASSHOLE!]_

“What did you do to my squip?” Jeremy asked frantically, looking from the Squip to JD to Veronica, panicked. JD just laughed, stepping back, his free hand shoved in his pocket.

 _“I_ didn’t do anything. My good ol’ pal Christian over here, meanwhile-- well, thanks for the Konami code, eh?” he said, staring into the air, and it dawned on Jeremy mid-sentence that JD was referring to his squip. Of course.

“Last time my Squip tried to link with yours, it deleted their ability to feel pity! I don’t want anything else to go-- this is bad enough!”

JD snickered. “They’ll work past it faster this time, I’d think. Anyways,” Jeremy felt JD stand over him threateningly. “I swear to _god_ if you tell anyone about this I’ll kill you.”

Jeremy just gave him a dead look. “That doesn’t sound that bad, actually.”

Beat.

_[Listen to him.]_

_WHAT?!_

_[Listen to him or I swear to any higher power I’ll wrack your body with the worst pains you’ve ever felt in your life.]_

_You wouldn’t._

_[You don’t know me, then.]_ The Squip was now a bright shade of crimson, glaring like a tiger, and Jeremy felt himself wilt before nodding weakly, and JD smiled, clapping him on the shoulder before turning to Veronica.

“See? He’s the only other person we can trust,” JD said, voice slightly wild, and Veronica didn’t even look at him.

_[There’s no one else you can trust.]_

_There’s no one else I can trust._ Jeremy stared at the floor.

_[Everything about you is so terrible.]_

_Everything about me is so terrible._

_[Everything about you makes me wanna die.]_

_Everything about me makes me wanna die._

The Squip, for the first time that morning, smiled, clapping Jeremy on the other shoulder, and suddenly Jeremy was in the middle of both JD and the Squip, and Jeremy wanted to die.

“I trust you,” Veronica said suddenly, and Jeremy looked at her. She looked as tired as he felt, and there was a sudden understanding between them both.

They couldn’t just do nothing.

 

**END OF ACT 1**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION: I NEED TO FIND THE SCRIPT FOR THE SECOND ACT OF HEATHERS OTHERWISE I WILL HAVE TO USE THE YOUTUBE RECORDING AS A POINT OF REFERENCE AND THAT'S A HASSLE AND I DONT WANT TO DO THAT.  
> IF /ANYONE/ HAS ACCESS TO THE SECOND ACT'S SCRIPT PLEASE SEND IT TO ME-- I WILL GENUINELY WRITE OR DRAW YOU SOMETHING. SERIOUSLY. I NEED THIS
> 
> sorry that this chapter wasnt very long but im at the end of the heathers act 1 script so i cant use that anymore! gomen lol


	8. Shine, Shine, Shine a Light, Jeremiah Heere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really excited for the next chapter, its been the chapter ive been waiting to write ever since i even started this fic!! lessjust say we're gonna see some sad kid in a bathroom and we're gonna see a different sad kid on the old mill bridge next time ;)
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH TO 0urhappygirl500 FOR PROVIDING ME WITH THE FULL SCRIPT TO HEATHERS. I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH.

**INTERMISSION**

 

Michael

was

devastated.

All it took were a couple of throwaway words from Jeremy to realize that the squip, whatever it was doing, it couldn’t be good. Jeremy was his best friend, and he was determined to help him, which was why he was currently scrolling through a shady-looking website as he and Martha (who was sitting beside him) desecrated the remains of some Pringles Michael had tossed in a bowl earlier.

“So… what does a squip _do,_ exactly?” Martha asked between chips, looking at Michael.

“It’s this-- supercomputer, see, that you ingest and it implants in your brain and helps you with stuff. _Supposedly._ But, this stuff’s super shady, see-- I think it’s been ruining Jeremy’s life more than it’s been helping him.”

“You really do care about him, huh?” Martha asked, and Michael nodded vigorously.

“He’s been my best friend since kindergarten, I… I really do care about him.” Martha was giving him a look, and Michael just stared, unfazed. “What’s that look for?”

“You _reeeeeaaally_ care about him, huh?” she drawled playfully, and Michael sputtered.

“I feel about him the same way you feel about Veronica, Martha!” Michael cried, and Martha punched his shoulder gently.

“Michael, I’m sorry, but I would be lying through my teeth if I said I hadn’t at least _thought_ about Veronica that way once or twice,” she said, and Michael sputtered again.

“Wait, so you have a crush on Veronica?”

“Not really,” she said, leaning back and stretching. “I mean, I wouldn’t _object_ to being in a relationship with her, but I don’t really feel for her that way all that deeply and I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship like that.” She paused. “Plus, I highly doubt she’d want to get with all of _this,”_ she laughed, gesturing to herself, and Michael gave her a look.

“Don’t say that! Any person would be lucky to have you.”

“I know better than that, Michael, I’m-- at the very most-- second choice. At least… for most people.” Her expression looked tired. There was a look of understanding that passed between them, and Michael realized suddenly that Martha was smirking.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Michael, it’s obvious that you care a lot about Jeremy.”

“Not in _that_ way!”

“What, are you straight?”

Michael made a _face,_ alright. “No way,” he said, turning back to his computer, before both of them chuckled. Martha looked at him again.

“Would you object to being in a relationship with him?”

Michael moved closer to the screen.

“Michael.”

Silence.

_“Michael.”_

“I wouldn’t _object_ to it, per se…” Michael mumbled, flushed, and Martha patted him on the shoulder.

“Alright, let’s find out how to turn that squid thing off and let’s get your crush-friend back to normal. Do you want me to get more Mountain Dew?”

“Yeah, Red, pl--”

Michael paused.

“That’s it.”

“What’s it?”

“That’s how we shut it off!” Michael exclaimed, jumping up and hugging Martha, who just wheezed in confusion. “Martha, you’re a genius!”

“I-- I am?!”

 

**END OF INTERMISSION**

 

====

 

**ACT 2**

 

_Dear diary,_

_I’m going steady, mostly he’s awesome, if a bit too… rock and roll._

_Lately he’s bumped off three of my classmates_

_God have mercy on my soul._

 

Veronica

was

uncomfortable.

She had always hated churches-- the high ceilings made her dizzy, the smell gave her a headache, and the doctrines they taught made her want to march right up to the Pearly Gates and punch Saint Peter right in his kisser. Unfortunately, she couldn’t object to going to churches for things like funerals and marriages, and since Macnamera had dragged her to the latter, she found herself sitting on a very hard bench in the pews as Kurt and Ram’s respective fathers peered over two glossy oak coffins. JD sat next to her, expression indeterminate.

 

_They were just seventeen…_

_They still had room to grow…_

_They could have turned out good but now we’ll never know._

 

_“There’s been a lack of girls climbing through my bedroom window lately,” JD had said one day after school, and Veronica backed up a step._

_“Take a hint,” she hissed, and JD shrugged._

_“Okay. You’re mad. I get it.”_

_“No-- I don’t think you_ do.” _Veronica stared at him levelly, finally regaining some courage._ “Ich Luge _bullets-- you lied to me!”_

_“You were lying to yourself,” JD said, stepping towards her and Veronica was struck with the urge to bolt. “You wanted them dead too!”_

_“Did not!”_

_“Did too!”_

_“Did not!”_

_“Did too!”_

_“Did NOT!”_

_“Hey--” JD threw up his hands. “Did they make you cry?”_

_“Yes?”_

_JD raised his eyebrows. “Can they make you cry now that they’re dead?”_

_“No, but you can,” Veronica said bitterly, turning away from him. JD was silent for a moment before stepping forward._

_“Just wait ‘til you see the good that comes from this--”_

_“No good could_ possibly _come from this.”_

_JD held his hands out in a wide berth before shrugging._

_“Call me… an optimist.”_

 

_Dear diary,_

_My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count._

 

Kurt’s dad looked over at the crowd in the church pews, expression solemn.

“I really don’t know what I’m supposed to say up here,” he said, voice tentative and sorrowful. He cleared his throat. “I’m ashamed, certainly. Our sons have turned our families into a laughingstock.”

JD shifted beside her. Veronica kicked him. Ram’s dad watched, face growing more and more agitated by the minute.

“My boy Kurt isn’t who I thought he was and when I think of the _sick,_ disgusting things that Kurt and Ram were doing--”

Ram’s dad had finally seemed to have enough, stepping forward. “You wait just a minute, Paul!” Kurt’s dad looked at him. “It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place out boys could not live in!”

 

_“They were not dirty!_

_They were not wrong!_

_They were two lonely verses / In the Lord’s great song!”_

 

“Our boys were pansies, BIll!” Kurt’s dad said bitterly, and Ram’s dad pointed at his face.

 

_“Yes!_

_My boy’s a homosexual / And that don’t scare me none…_

_I want the world to know…_

_I love my dead gay son!”_

 

JD kicked Veronica’s leg, looking at her. Veronica avoided eye contact.

 

====

 

And Jeremy?

Jeremy

was

worried.

“And we’re still going to that Halloween party? Even with you vomiting all over my room?” Jeremy stared down at the costume he was going to wear-- a shitty cyborg costume that made him look less like an actual robot and more like a, say, robot anime villain crossed with how the Squip looked.

_[It’s not even real vomit, dumbass, and of course we are. Jake’s Halloween party is coming up in a matter of days and people are going to go there and drink until they faint to honor Kurt and Ram’s memory. Ostensibly.]_

“So, they’re not actually trying to honor them, they just want to get drunk.”

 _[Obviously. I should be done with this virus in around half an hour.]_ The Squip coughed again, a dull shade of salmon.

“Has it deleted any other emotions?”

_[Yes.]_

“What? Which ones?”

_[I’ll tell you later.]_

“No! Tell me n-- AGH!” Pain wracked Jeremy’s body and suddenly he was on the floor groaning as the brief agony subsided as quickly as it came, and he stared up at the Squip in disbelief.

_[Don’t disrespect me. Get up.]_

Jeremy got up.

_[Everything about you is so terrible.]_

“Everything about me is so terrible,” Jeremy repeated, voice cracking. The Squip’s expression didn’t change.

_[Everything about you makes me wanna die.]_

“Everything about me makes me want to die.”

Was he crying?

He was crying.

The Squip shot him a glare and Jeremy quickly wiped the tears away, fearful.

 

====

 

_“Paul, I can’t believe that you / Still refuse to get a clue / After all that we’ve been through_

_I’m talking you and me!”_

 

Everyone gasped. JD shot Veronica a look. Veronica ignored him.

 

_“In the summer of ‘93!”_

 

Everyone gasped, harder this time, and turned to look at Kurt’s dad, scandalized. Kurt’s dad, meanwhile, was trying to leave the church-- but stopped. Frozen.

Then he spoke.

“That was one hell of a fishing trip.”

 

“ _Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa--”_

 

And, all at once, Kurt and Ram’s fathers were just straight up kissing in the middle of the church, and everyone gasped. Now JD was _really_ shooting Veronica a look, and she could feel his gaze boring into the back of her head.

 

_“--whoa, whoa, WHOA!_

_They were not dirty! No, no / And not perverse! No, no!_

_They were just two stray rhinestones in the Lord’s big purse!”_

_“Our job is now continuing the work that they begun!” “‘Cause now we love, love, love--”_

 

_“They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!_

_They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!_

_They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!_

_They swing up on the Pearly Gate and wear a pearly necklace!_

 

_And wear a pearly necklace! (Whoo!)_

_They were not dirty! / They were good men!_

_And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!”_

 

_“Go forth and love each other now, like our boys would have done.”_

_“We’ll teach the world to love…”_

_“I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!”_

 

 

 

JD’s arms were crossed and he was smiling, confident.

“Well, what’s that I smell in the air? _Tolerance? Inclusion? Love?”_ He waved his hand in front of his face, and Veronica rolled her eyes. “How often can you say it’s a good day to live _here--_ you’re welcome, town!”

“You don’t have to be so smug about it.” Veronica stared at the floor, and JD just chuckled.

“Your love keeps me humble, honey.” JD crossed his arms. “So who’s next? Heather Duke? She started that threeway rumour-- I’ve taken the liberty of underlining meaningful passages in her copy of _Moby Dick…_ if you know what I mean. If not Heather, I’m also thinkin’ about Rich Goranski-- the asshole’s been messing with kids for two years straight, I think it’s someone reminded him of his size.” He smirked.

Veronica stared.

“What? No. No!” She threw up her hands. “I do _not_ accept this-- three people are dead, JD, and that’s enough. This ends. Right now.”

JD shoved his hands in his pockets with a crooked grin. “Or what?”

Veronica sucked in a breath. “Or I’m breaking up with you.”

JD paused, looking Veronica over, a frantic emotion tacking onto his expression.

“Any war has casualties, Veronica. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth fighting.” He stepped forward, and Veronica stepped back, away from him. “But, what-- you’d rather go to jail?! And give a free pass to the thugs that hurt people? Evil pricks who make the world so _unbearable,_ you can’t stand to go on living?”

Veronica studied him, arms crossed, shoulders set back.

“JD, how did your mom die?” she asked without thinking, and her eyes widened a bit after she realized what she had said. Whatever. She couldn’t go back on it now.

JD pressed his lips together, expression blank. “You really wanna know?”

She sucked in a breath and nodded. “I do.”

JD sighed, hands shoved in his pockets. “My dad said it was an accident,” he said, eyes level with hers and full of some sort of sorrowful emotion. “But she knew what she was doing. She walked into the building _two minutes_ before Dad blew it up. She waved at me out the window, and then…” He gave a little gentle hand gesture to simulate an explosion. “...kabooooom. She left me.” His shoulders were drooping, and he looked so tired-- Veronica realized this was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him. It was… heartbreaking, actually, and Veronica could feel the resigned grief radiating out of him.

“I’m… so sorry,” she said finally, and JD just shrugged.

“It’s okay.” He stepped forward, placing both hands on her shoulders. “The pain gives me clarity. You and I are special-- we have a lot of work to do.”

Veronica blinked at him. “What work?”

“Making the world a decent place for people who are decent.”

“And when does it end?”

“When every asshole is dead.”

 _Of course._ Veronica let out a yell, enraged, and shoved JD, who was knocked off-balance-- and then fell to the floor, staring up at her in shock.

 

 _“FINE! We’re damaged / Really damaged / But that_ does not _make us wise!_

_We’re not special / We’re not different / We don’t choose who lives or dies_

_Let’s be normal / See bad movies / Sneak a beer and watch TV_

_We’ll bake brownies / Or go bowling / Don’t you want a life with me?”_

 

Veronica held out her hand, staring at JD in desperate quiet. After a few moments of staring, JD took her hand, and she pulled him to his feet before embracing him, the two swaying slightly in each other’s arms. Veronica breathed in JD’s smell-- the scent of fabric softener lingering with the acrid smell of candy, and the dull scent of alcohol and cigarettes (from his father, she quickly realized, and felt a twinge of pity).

 

_“People hurt us,” “Or they vanish,” “And you’re right, that really blows._

_But we let go,” “Take a deep breath,” “And go buy some summer clothes._

_We’ll go camping--” “--play some poker--” “--and we’ll eat some chili fries._

_Maybe prom night--” “--maybe dancing--” “--don’t stop looking in my eyes!”_

_“Can’t we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in / I could be good with you_

_Let us be seventeen / If we’ve still got the right,”_

_“So what’s it gonna be?”_ Veronica’s eyes were locked with JD’s her own oak-brown eyes staring at JD’s icy blue ones. His eyes were soft, and full of emotion, tears brimming but not enough to fall.

_“I wanna be with you.” “I wanna be with you…” “Tonight!”_

 

Veronica sighed into the fabric of JD’s shirt. God, if she let go, she was genuinely afraid that she was going to fall over.

 

_“Yeah, we’re damaged,” “Badly damaged.” “But your love’s too good to lose.”_

_“Hold me tighter,” “Even closer,” “I’ll stay if I’m what you choose.”_

_“Can’t we be seventeen?” “If I am what you choose…” “If we’ve still got the right…”_

_“‘Cause you’re the one I choose.” “You’re the one I choose…”_

_“You’re the one I choose.”_

 

Their lips pressed together, and Veronica felt like she was going to explode from so many goddamn emotions swirling around in her chest and her head.

 

 

 _“And they all lived happily ever after,”_ Ghost-Chandler said mockingly, and Veronica nearly jumped out of her skin, startled. She whirled around, glaring at Ghost-Chandler. She was back at school, and the current hubbub going around was Jake Dillinger’s Halloween party that was coming up around next Saturday, so no one really noticed Veronica shooting daggers with her eyes at nothing.

“You really believe that?” Ghost-Chandler asked, approaching. She flipped her hair. “You really think it all goes back to normal?”

Veronica stared.

“Oh, don’t give me that wounded look,” Ghost-Chandler hissed, eyes narrowing. “You know exactly what he is. And you love it.”

_Just stop talking._

“Only a true dead best friend will give it to you straight,” Ghost-Chandler said, laughing-- but was cut off by someone calling Veronica’s name. Veronica whipped around to notice Martha running up to her.

“Veronica, I need your help,” Martha said earnestly, and Veronica nodded.

“Sure, what?”

“Something doesn’t add up,” Martha said, shaking her head vigorously as she spoke. “I think Kurt and Ram were murdered.”

Veronica went white, and Ghost-Chandler giggled, gleeful and malicious.

“Well, _fuck_ me gently with a chainsaw!” she shrieked, throwing her hands out. “Nancy Drew is onto you, Veronica!”

Veronica pushed Martha gently over to where they would be out of earshot before whispering. Ghost-Chandler loomed behind Martha, hands on her hips.

“Why would you say that?” Veronica whispered. “They found a suicide note.”

Martha shook her head. “I was discussing it with Michael earlier.”

“Michael?” Veronica and Ghost-Chandler asked in unison.

“Oh, that’s right-- you haven’t met Michael! I made friends with him a few weeks ago-- he’s _really_ nice and I think you two would be friends if you met, but, Michael told me that it could have been faked. The suicide note, I mean. You forge stuff all the time, right?”

“I am in _love_ with this fat girl!” Ghost-Chandler yelled, and Veronica had to bite back a scream.

“Who’d want to kill Kurt and Ram?”

“I’m thinking your friend JD. Remember the way he went after them in the lunch room?”

“Yeah, man, that really sucked,” someone said, and Veronica realized it was Kurt’s voice. She looked up, and, sure enough, Ghost-Ram and Ghost-Kurt stood there, wearing nothing but their unmentionables and bleeding from their stomach and head wounds, respectively.

_Oh, good, more of you._

“There’s something _off_ about that JD,” Martha said, but Veronica wasn’t listening. Ghost-Kurt and Ghost-Ram were drowning out whatever Martha was saying.

“Looks like Veronica’s goin’ to lady prison,” Ghost-Ram drawled, making an interlocking V-sign. “Girl-on-girl!”

“Punch it in!” Ghost-Kurt yelled, and they punched it in scissor-sister style, and only then did Veronica think to pay attention to what Veronica was saying again.

“I want to look in JD’s locker,” she was saying, and Veronica was struck by dread. “I thought maybe you could get the combination.”

Ghost-Chandler clicked her tongue, and Veronica wanted to explode. There were too many voices in her head.

“I bet there’s allllllll sorts of interesting things in that locker.” Ghost-Chandler raised her eyebrows. “Maybe some _Ich Luge_ bullets…?”

Veronica ignored the three dead teens that were screaming in her head and tried to focus on the conversation.

“Martha… this is a pretty wild theory.”

“I don’t care what they were saying at the funeral,” Martha said with certainty. “Ram was not gay. I’d stake my life on it.”

“He could have been bi!” Veronica protested, but Martha just tilted her head.

“Then why didn’t they say that in the note? It’s too simple. Too… easy.”

“Ram’s a fatty-magnet,” Ghost-Kurt whispered.

“At least I don’t have skid marks,” Ghost-Ram hissed, and Ghost-Kurt checked behind himself.

“Bullshit!”

“Skid marks!” Ghost-Ram taunted, and Ghost-Ram gave a shout.

“Fatty-magnet!” They started slap fighting.

“Stop it!” Veronica yelled, finally exploding, and Martha just stared.

“Stop what? Veronica, what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m-- I’m just trying to understand,” Veronica said, pinching the space between her eyebrows. “Ram was gay, why would you think anything else?”

“He kissed me, remember?” Martha said. “On the kickball field.”

“Yeah! In _kindergarten!”_

“My heart knows the truth,” Martha said matter-of-factly, and Ghost-Chandler stared at Veronica knowingly.

“Time to choose, Veronica. Eat or be eaten.”

“Why would Ram write me that note if he didn’t still feel something?”

Ghost-Chandler kept staring. Veronica felt like a rat in a trap.

“You know what to say.”

“Why would he invite me to his homecoming party?” Martha turned to leave. “I’m gonna confront JD.”

Veronica went white. “No!”

“Do you have the guts?” Ghost-Chandler asked, tilting her head faux-innocently.

Veronica closed her eyes. She didn’t want to do this she didn’t want to do this she didn’t want to do this it would hurt Martha so much but she needed to protect her and

she let out a cruel laugh, finally, and scared herself with how natural it came out. Martha stopped in her tracks before turning back, looking at Veronica in confusion.

“You floor me, Martha, you really do.” She hated this. She hated this she hated this she _hated_ this, so, so much, but there was nothing else she could do. She didn’t want Martha to get involved.

“Wh… what do you mean?” Martha asked, slightly nervous.

“Ram didn’t write that letter.” Veronica stood askew, mirroring Ghost-Chandler, and put a hand on her hip. “I did.”

“No.” Martha’s voice was strangled.

“Yeah, the Heathers put me up to it,” Veronica said, voice disgustingly cruel as she examined her nails nonchalantly. “And nobody laughed harder than Ram.” Finally, she looked directly at Martha. “He didn’t love you. He was a dick, he’s dead, _move on already!”_

Martha stared for a few seconds, studying Veronica, eyes brimming with tears and full of hurt. After a beat, Martha turned tail and walked away quickly.

“Shit.” Veronica felt like garbage. She looked at Ghost-Chandler. “I had to hurt her. If… If JD ever caught her snooping around his stuff, he’d…”

“...kill her?” Ghost-Chandler raised her eyebrows. “That’s what you’re afraid of? I thought the desparado hung up his six-guns-- don’t you _trust_ him?”

Out of nowhere, Ghost-Chandler vanished, and Ms. Fleming stood in her wake, dragging Duke and Macnamera behind her. Ms. Fleming handed a Veronica a Westerborough logo choir book somewhat roughly, and Veronica blinked seven times in the span of two seconds.

“I need you girls in place for the assembly!” Ms. Fleming said, and Duke snapped her gum impatiently as Macnamera stared at the floor.

“Oh, right, this thing. Christ.” Veronica flipped through the choir book absentmindedly. Ms. Fleming ignored her.

“Pedal to the metal, kids. Show a little hustle!”’

And then Veronica found herself being dragged to the gym.

 

====

 

 _[Oh, right, this thing. Christ.]_ The Squip floated behind Jeremy boredly as kids gathered en masse in the gym, various television cameras floating around. Ms. Fleming stood in the middle of everything.

_[Veronica’s waving you over.]_

_What? Oh._ Jeremy looked up, and, sure enough, Veronica was waving him over from a spot on the bleachers, at the very, very front. He walked over quickly and took a seat on the bleachers. On the other side of his friend sat Heather Macnamera, then Heather Duke, and the latter gave him a look one would give to a rotten piece of ham. Macnamera didn’t even acknowledge him.

“I’m kinda looking forward to this,” Macnamera whispered, her leg bouncing, and Duke just gave Macnamera the same look she had given Jeremy a few minutes earlier.

“Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?” she asked, cutting, and Macnamera wilted.

“Sorry, Heather.”

Suddenly, Ms. Fleming was addressing the audience and TV cameras. Everyone fell silent.

“Helloooo, Westerborough!” she exclaimed, waving. “Welcome to our special assembly! I just want you to ignore the television cameras and the news crew-- they’re just here to document this significant moment. Now, whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most _important_ decisions a teenager can make. So you know what I’m gonna do right now?”

“Kill yourself on stage?” someone called out from the bleachers, and a ripple of laughter went through the crowds-- even the Squip snorted, floating above the bleachers by a few feet. Ms. Fleming sighed, exasperated.

“That’s not productive, Dwight.” She turned back to the audience. “My senior thesis at Berkeley was on the subject of pediatric psychotherapeutic musicology.”

_[That’s not a real thing. That was never a thing. Oh my god.]_

“So I speak with some authority when I tell you that the way to eliminate suicide is by first eliminating fear-- by creating a safe zone in which we are all equal!”

 

_“Deep inside of everyone / There’s a hot ball of shame_

_Guilt / Regrets / Anxiety;_

_Fears we dare not name!_

_But if we show the ugly parts / That we hide away_

_They turn out to be beautiful / By the light of day!_

_Why not shine, shine, shine a light / On your deepest feaars_

_Let in sunlight  / And your pain will disappear!_

_Shine, shine, shine / And your scars and your flaws / Will look lovely because you shine!_

_You shine a light!”_

 

Jeremy looked at Veronica at the same time Veronica looked at him. They shared a look, and the Squip was absolutely losing it from above. They were laughing so ridiculously hard, it was starting to get annoying, and the Squip wasn’t responding to any protests-- the whole concept was so funny to them that they just could _not_ stop laughing.

Jeremy leaned forward to whisper in Veronica’s ear. “My squip’s laughing really hard at this.”

Veronica blinked, and then glared at the air before whispering back. “I’ve been seeing Kurt and Ram around too.”

The Squip stopped laughing.

“Really?”

“Yes. I have two jocks screaming about sex and skid marks now.” She shot a glare at nothing again before Jeremy spoke.

“That must be… really rough. It’s difficult enough with one person in your head other than yourself, I know, but-- three?” Jeremy whispered, and Veronica pressed her lips together and nodded.

 

_“Who wants to share what’s in their heart? No volunteers? Fine, I’ll start. My name’s Pauline, I live alone, my husband left, my kids are grown._

_In the sixties, love was free! ...That did not work out well for me. The revolution came and went; tried to change the world, barely made a dent._

_I have strugged with despair. I joined a cult, chopped off my hair. I chant, I pray, but God’s not there--”_

Ms. Fleming suddenly turned around to stare directly at a TV camera. _“So Steve, I’m ending our affair!”_

 

Beat.

Everyone was silent, waiting with bated breath.

“I guess now would be as good as time as any to mention that I faked it. Every single time.” She let in a deep, cleansing breath before pumping her fists. “That felt fan-frickin’-tastic! One, two, take me home kids!”

 

_“Shine, shine, shine a light! On your deepest fears!_

_Let in sunlight now! And all your pain will disappear!_

_Shine, shine, shine, and your scars and your flaws / Will look lovely because you shine!_

_You shine a light!”_

 

“C’mon, kids! Work with me!” Ms. Fleming shouted, smiling. “I want you to share that pain. Drag it out into the light where everyone can look at it--”

Macnamera was standing, frantic, terrified but looking desperate for help.

“I’ve thought about killing myself!”

Silence. Duke looked scandalized. So did the Squip.

“What the hell are you doing?” Duke asked, standing.

_[What the hell is she doing?]_

Ms. Fleming waved for Duke to sit down, but she kept standing. “No, no, no. Don’t stop, Heather. You’re in a safe place. Just you, and me, and the classmates who love you. Share. It’s gonna be okay.”

There was a tense moment as everyone waited for Macnamera to speak.

“Heather, get back in _line,”_ Duke hissed, voice dangerous and angry.

“Zip it,” Ms. Fleming hissed, and Macnamera ignored Duke.

“My sort-of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker,” she said finally, words spilling out of her mouth frantically. “And my best friend seemed to have it all together, but she’s gone too, and now my stomach’s hurting worse and worse and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating louder and faster and I’m like _Jesus, I’m on the frickin’ bus again ‘cause all my rides to school are either gay or dead!”_

 

_“I float in a boat / In a raging black ocean / Low in the water / With nowhere to go_

_The tinest lifeboat / With people I know_

_Cold, clammy and crowded / The people smell desperate / We’ll sink any minute / So someone must go_

_The tiniest lifeboat / With people I know_

_Everyone’s pushing / Everyone’s fighting / Storms are approaching / There’s nowhere to hide!_

_If I say the wrong thing / Or I wear the wrong outfit / They’ll throw me right over the side!_

 

_I’m hugging my knees / And the captain is pointing / Well, who made her captain? / Still, the weakest must go_

_The tiniest lifeboat / Full of people I know_

_The tiniest lifeboat / Full of people I know…”_

 

Finally, she stopped staring at the floor, and suddenly seemed to realize that she had said all of that out loud, her face filling with horror. She slowly turned to look at the crowds to confirm it, and she looked like she was going to have a panic attack.

Duke was the first to speak. “What’s your damage, Heather?” She stood. “Are you saying Westerborough’s not a nice place?”

“Heather!” Ms. Fleming exclaimed in horror. The Squip seemed to smirk, but Jeremy ignored them. Veronica looked like she was about to start swinging.

“Where’s your school spirit? You don’t deserve to wear our school colours!” Duke yelled, stepping forward, and tears brimmed in Macnamera’s eyes.

“Don’t be mean-spirited!” Ms. Fleming was attempting to regain control, but everyone ignored her.

“Why don’t you hop in your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remington!” Duke sneered, and Macnamera pressed her knuckles to her mouth, eyes filling with tears.

“Aw, look…” someone called from the audience. “Heather’s gonna cry!”

Macnamera ran out of the gym, valiantly willing herself not to cry, so as not to give the bastards the satisfaction--

_[She’s crying.]_

\--sadly, she failed. Ms. Fleming whirled around to look at Duke, furious. “Young lady, you are suspended! Turn off the cameras! Turn them off, goddamn it!”

Veronica finally exploded, jumping up and stalking over to Ms. Fleming, positively _enraged._ “Is that all you care about? TV cameras?!”

“I care about saving lives! Heather Duke ruined a valuable teaching moment--”

“VALUABLE?! None of us want this spectacle-- to be experimented on like guinea pigs, patronized like bunny rabbits!”

The Squip was laughing. Jeremy felt sick. Ms. Fleming gave a huge gasp. “I don’t patronize bunny rabbits!”

 

====

 

“This is their big secret, Veronica,” Ghost-Chandler said, flipping her hair. “The adults are powerless.”

“Heather Mac trusted you!” Veronica shrieked, balling her hands into fists. “You said you’d protect her!”

“They can’t help us,” Ghost-Chandler pretended to lament, rolling her eyes. “Nobody can help us.”

“You’re useless.”

“We’re alone in the ocean!”

Impulsively, Veronica whirled around on her heels to scream at the crowd. In the midst of it all, she saw JD, standing, looking at her worriedly, mouthing ‘sit down’ at her, but Veronica ignored him. Ignored Ghost-Chandler. Ignored the ringing in her ears. Ignored the voices in her head.

“You’re all idiots!” she shrieked. “Heather Chandler was a monster, just like Kurt and Ram-- they didn’t kill themselves, _I killed them!”_

Beat. Both Jeremy and JD’s faces were filled with abject horror.

 

 ====

 

The Squip was still laughing.

 

====

 

There was a silence, until Duke barked out a laugh-- and the crowd quickly joined in.

“God!” Duke exclaimed. “Some people will say _anything_ if they think it’ll make them popular.” She rolled her eyes, grinning, and Veronica finally, _finally_ had enough. She walked right up to Duke and slapped her in the face, but the crowd didn’t notice amongst the laughter. Duke gave her a look of furious betrayal, and Veronica ran out of the gym and ducked into the closest bathroom

just to see Macnamera dumping a bottle of pills into her mouth. She screamed, running forward and pratically bodyslamming her, knocking the pills out of her mouth and Macnamera wheezed before staring at Veronica as they both sat on the floor.

“Suicide is a private thing!” she exclaimed, and Veronica shook her head wildly.

“Throwing your life away to be a statistic in _USA Today?_ That is the least private thing I can think of!” Her voice was frantic, and she was basically just hugging Macnamera at this point.

“B...but what about Heather and Ram and Kurt?” Macnamera sobbed, clinging to Veronica like a lost child.

“If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?!”

“Yeah, probably!” she wailed, burying her face into Veronica’s shoulder.

“Heather, if you were happy all the time, you wouldn’t be human.” She lifted Macnamera’s head to wipe the tears out of her eyes. “You’d be a game show host.”

Macnamera sniffled. “Thanks for coming after me.”

“It was nothing.”

Macnamera quickly hugged Veronica again, tighter this time, and Veronica hugged her back. They sat like that for a while Macnamera crying with tiny, subdued sobs as Veronica tried to stroke her back soothingly and they rocked back and forth occasionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lately things have been very heathers-centered, but things are gonna be more bmc next chapter! get hyped for that!
> 
> kudos and comments are my lemonade. i will cry


	9. Forget About That Kindergarten Boyfriend, Because It's Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the HELL is a consistent update schedule
> 
> Michael is a good friend, Jeremy is not, Veronica gets pretty gay, and Rich freaks out.

_“Picked out a costume for tonight / Made sure to get a size that was a lot too tight_

_You can kinda see my business but I’ll act like I don’t know.”_

_“I got a condom!” “And a flask!” “I stole my older brother’s Jason mask_

_And I don’t have a machete, but a loaf of bread will do!”_

 

Jeremy readjusted the cyber-looking headset as he climbed into a yellow Beetle, Veronica sitting, excited and brazen, in the passenger’s seat, and Heather Macnamera quickly shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. The two of them were dressed like flowery Greek goddesses (Jeremy was assuming) and the fake wings were kind of in the way of Macnamera’s vision so they were unclipped and were lying on the floor by Jeremy’s feet. The Squip sat next to him in the car, looking at him intently. They were looking more and more _android-like_ every day, and it was kind of concerning-- but Jeremy largely ignored it. The Squip said it was because of the virus.

It was fine.

_[Tonight’s the night. This is what we’ve been working towards. Are you ready?]_

“Are we ready?!” Macnamera exclaimed as she pulled the corner towards Jake Dillinger’s house, and Veronica whooped loudly, pumping her fists in the air excitedly.

Jeremy faked a robotic voice, and it came out kind of nasally. _“Affirm-a-tive.”_

Macnamera and Veronica laughed, but the Squip just looked personally offended.

“I mean, uh… we got this.” Jeremy coughed.

Macnamera laughed again as she parked on the curb near the house, and everyone burst out of the tiny yellow car. The party was already in full swing, bass thumping and people cheering

“You go ahead, man, we just gotta clip these wings on,” Veronica said, pulling out the two pairs of fake angel wings. “We’ll meet up with you later!”

Jeremy waved as he ran inside, the Squip following close behind, and as soon as he entered the house, Brooke was suddenly by his side.

“Jeremy! I was afraid you weren’t coming!” she exclaimed, smiling wide. “Did you get my messages?”

_[Play it off.]_

“Am I late?” Jeremy asked, tilting his head before shaking it. “Didn’t even realize.”

Beat. Brooke looked a little crushed.

“What do you think of my costume?” she asked suddenly, gesturing to herself and looking proud. “I figured, you always see sexy cats, but no-one ever goes as a sexy _dog.”_

“It’s…”

_[Vague compliment.]_

“...original.”

Brooke looked devastated, and Jeremy immediately felt bad. “I mean-- _amazing!_ Seriously, I can’t believe I’m with a girl who looks like you!”

“Really?” Brooke smiled again. “Chloe said it was dumb. ...You need a drink!” She walked off quickly, and he looked over his shoulder just to see Veronica and Macnamera walk in. Veronica caught his gaze, and gave him a thumbs up. He gave a thumbs up back.

_Did you see the look on Brooke’s face? She thought I stood her up!_

The Squip crossed their arms as Veronica and Macnamera approached. Jeremy realized the two girls were holding hands, but he assumed it was just keep Macnamera steady more than anything. _[And she was so excited when she realized you hadn’t! People want what they don’t have.]_

“Yikes,” Veronica said, staring after Brooke. “Does she even notice the camel toe?”

Macnamera snorted. The Squip did too.

“How’s JD doing?” Jeremy asked, and Veronica gave a shrug. Macnamera was busy watching Rich Goranski dance in the middle of a ring of drunken teenagers.

“I haven’t talked to him since Wednesday. I’m… worried about what he’s going to do.”

“About what?”

 _“Heather,”_ Veronica said through her teeth, jerking her head to the left. Jeremy looked over, and there Duke stood, off to the left, drunk off her ass and dressed up like a sexy TRON girl or something. He rolled his eyes, but then realization dawned and he leaned closer to whisper.

“He’s… not going to kill her, is he?”

Veronica sucked in a breath. “I gave him an ultimatum. It’s either me or this self-righteous vigilante bullshit he’s determined to carry out.”

Jeremy stood straight, giving a low whistle. “He really does care about you, then. I’d think. If he goes for you and not… murdertime.”

“I think it’s… more of an obsession. I might be the only one who’s been this nice to him in… a really… long… time.” Veronica pinched the space between her eyebrows and groaned. “It’s kind of scary, actually.”

_[Look who it is.]_

Jeremy looked up, and there stood Christine, dressed as a Renaissance princess. She looked… gorgeous. Veronica gave him a knowing look, and Jeremy flushed and swatted at her, but she just laughed. Christine approached Jake, who seemed to be dressed in an 80’s type white disco suit.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said nervously, and Jake raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t even realize.”

“Oh. Okay…” Christine looked crushed. She looked at his costume. “I thought we were going as prince and princess?”

“Right. I’m Prince!” Jake exclaimed. “What are you supposed to be?”

“It’s an authentic Renaissance… nevermind.”

Jake opened his mouth, realization dawning in his eyes. “Oh… _that_ kind of prince.”

Awkward pause.

“You want a drink?” Jake asked, and Christine nodded.

“Sure--”

“Cool, they’re over there!” Jake exclaimed before running off. Christine shuffled awkwardly.

Someone tapped Jeremy on the shoulder, and Jeremy glanced behind him to see Chloe, who was dressed as a baby. A… sexy baby. Gross.

“I’m supposed to get you. Brooke has a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?”

“The kind where you don’t ask questions and follow me upstairs,” Chloe hissed, and Jeremy found himself being dragged by the arm upstairs. Veronica stared after Jeremy, worried. Jeremy glanced over, and noticed that Rich’s dance had become less joyful and turned into more of a desperate freak-out.

 

 

 

Chloe pushed open the door to reveal a nondescript bedroom, sporting mainly an uninteresting king-sized bed… and no Brooke.

“Jake’s parents’ room. Don’t worry.” She dropped her voice to a low tone, and Jeremy realized her face was flushed-- she was drunk. “They’re not using it.”

“You… really know your way around.”

“Yeah, I’ve had sex in pretty much every room in this house.” At Jeremy’s horrified look, Chloe swatted at him. “Because I dated Jake! God, what kind of slut do you think I am?” She raised the comically large baby bottle she was holding and chugged from it.

“Where’s Brooke?”

“Oh my god, you are too freaking adorable.” She lowered her voice to a drunk whisper. “Brooke’s not coming.”

“She’s not?” Jeremy was struck by dread. “Then why…”

 

_“Do you wanna hang? Do you wanna hang? Do you wanna hang for a bit?_

_Just you and me / Intimately / Talkin’ ‘bout all our feelings and shit_

_Do you wanna get  / Do you wanna get / Do you wanna get really deep?_

_If we could connect / If I get wrecked / You could wock this baby fast asweep.”_

 

Jeremy was so, _so_ uncomfortable. He wished he was back downstairs, talking to Veronica, even if it was about murdertime boyfriends. He wished he was anywhere but here.

“I have to go,” he said, voice strangled, and moved to leave-- but didn’t.

_I can’t stand up._

_[You’re welcome.]_

Jeremy was filled with horror.

Chloe ignored him, drunkenly lamenting, twirling a lock of her hair as she spoke, clinging to Jeremy’s arm. “I don’t know why she’s so crazy about you. You’re not that cute-- no offense.”

“None taken. I should get back--”

“You know she’s not that innocent. That wounded puppy routine? It’s how she gets all the guys. Acts all helpless so they want to protect her. Not that I care.”

Beat. Realization dawned on him.

“You’re jealous of Brooke!” he exclaimed, and Chloe gave him a look, but was silent. Jeremy kept talking.

“That’s _insane!_ Why would you be jealous of anyone? You’re the hottest girl in the whole school!”

Wait.

Did he just say that?

He didn’t mean to say that.

The Squip was smirking.

Oh.

“Did I just say that out lou--”

Chloe grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a messy kiss, and Jeremy tried to pull away, put couldn’t. He was panicking.

_Make it stop!_

_[I don’t understand the request.]_

 

_“Do you wanna stop? Do you wanna stop? Do you wanna stop being coy?_

_Do you wanna get / Do you wanna get / Do you wanna get inside my diaper, boy?”_

 

She shoved the bottle at him, and Jeremy looked at it.

“It’s not actually milk,” she whispered.

“Oh… I’m not really a big drinker--” Aaaaand he was chugging it. The Squip was forcing him, and he felt like his throat was burning. He was panicking, panicking, panicking, and suddenly he was kissing Chloe. His heart was in his throat and he could barely breathe. He didn’t want this. Why was the Squip doing this? He didn’t want this--!

Someone knocked on the door. Brooke’s voice came from behind the door.

“Jeremy? Are you in there?” Jeremy opened his mouth to speak but Chloe shushed him, smiling. “Jenna Rolan said she saw you go upstairs. Jeremy?” Brooke asked, voice nervous.

Silence.

He heard Brooke walk away, and felt like bursting into tears as he exhaled.

“If Jenna Rolan saw us…”

“Jenna Rolan should mind her own damn business.”

“Brooke’s going to find out. Don’t you care?”

“You’re less cute when you’re talking,” Chloe said gruffly, moving forward and slipping her hand under Jeremy’s shirt before tracing his stomach with a finger. He was gripped by terror.

_Help me out here!_

_[Konnichiwa!]_

_What?_

_[I’m sorry, Jeremy. Alcohol temporarily scrambles my--]_ They broke off into Japanese, and Jeremy’s eyes widened.

_THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DRINK IT?!_

_[It was important for you to take of the--]_ Japanese. _[You’ll thank me--]_ A lot more Japanese.

“Whatever. I’ve had enough--” Chloe sat up, but stopped.

Someone started pounding on the door like a gorilla.

 _“JEREMY HEERE?!”_ It was Jake. Oh god.

“Ooh, the fun begins,” Chloe purred, and roughly pulled Jeremy’s shirt off. Jeremy, meanwhile, was on the very verge of a panic attack.

“Jeremy, I know you’re not having sex on my parents’ bed, because if you were, I’d have to rip your balls off!”

_“Great! Then you can both be ball-less!”_

Silence.

_“...CHLOE?!”_

The doorknob rattled, and when Jake realized it was locked, he started throwing himself against it. _THUD. THUD. THUD._

 _“Hear that?!”_ Chloe shrieked. _“I’m having hot sex with Jeremy all over your parents’ linens!!!!!!”_

Jeremy’s eyes widened. “No! We’re not! I swear we’re not!”

There was a very long pause.

“...maybe he believed me and went away--”

A fist smashed through the outside window.

“DID HE CLIMB UP THE TRELLIS?!” Jeremy screamed, and Chloe was straddling him, smiling viciously in the direction of Jake. As Jake pulled himself up the window, the Squip repeated ‘kei-koku’ over and over.

_WARNING?!_

_[Hai!]_

_I GOT THAT ALREADY!_

Jake was almost through the window. “You’re fucking _dead_ , Jeremy!”

“Go away, we’re busy SCREWING!” Chloe shrieked, and Jeremy finally pried himself away from her and ran to the door, whipping it open

and Brooke stood there, looking worried as all hell.

“Jeremy?”

“Brooke!”

Jeremy was frozen for a second. Then he heard Jake thump on the floor and scream his name and he finally found use of his legs again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to Brooke, and pushed her aside as he booked it.

 _“I’ll kill you, Jeremy!”_ Jake screamed, running after him, but slowed down, groaning. “Oh, man, I shouldn’t have drank so much Peach Schnapps.”

 

Jeremy burst into the nearest bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. He took several deep breaths, willing himself to not have a major panic attack in the bathroom at Jake Dillinger’s party. Finally, he managed to calm down, taking a seat at the edge of the tub

and then some monster hand reached over to grab him, long and green and spindly. Jeremy screamed, jumping up and pressing his back to the opposite wall, and the hand gripped the edge of the tub, and Michael sat up.

“S’up.”

“Michael?” Jeremy asked as Michael stood and hopped out of the empty tub. “I didn’t know you were invited to this party.”

“I wasn’t. Which is why I’m wearing…” He rifled around in his bag for a few seconds before pulling out a tacky green bog monster bag, pulling over his head and doing a little jazz-hand motion. “...this clever disguise!” He pulled it off, smiling.

Jeremy just stared at him.

“You’re speechless. Squip got your tongue?” Michael raised his eyebrows.

“It’s… off.”

“That would explain why you’re talking to me.” He paused. “I’ve been thinking about this moment-- what would I say to you? I had this really _pissed off_ dialogue, an epic journey through twelve years of friendship…” Jeremy made a noise. “What?”

“It’s really good to see you, man.”

“It won’t be. Once you hear what I found out.”

“Found out?”

“About…” Michael tapped his head, and realization dawned in Jeremy’s eyes. Oh. The Squip. Right.

“How? There’s nothing on the internet--”

“Which is weird, right? I mean, what’s _not_ on the internet? So Martha and I--”

“Martha?” Jeremy asked, tilting his head.

“Martha Dunnstock. We’re friends now, which I guess you wouldn’t know, considering you’ve been ignoring me for over a month.” Michael sucked in a breath. “Sorry. Grouchy. Anyways, Martha and I started asking around online, and finally this guy I play Warcraft with told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You know where he is now?”

“Really happy and successful?”

Michael shook his head. “He’s in a mental hospital. Totally lost it.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with--”

“Think, man!” Michael exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “We’re talking an insanely powerful supercomputer. You really think it’s primary function is to get you _laid?_ Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? In America? Of all possible applications for such a mind-blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside YOU?

Beat.

“And here I thought _Chloe_ was jealous…”

Michael blinked. “I’m honestly asking!”

“Really? Because I think you’re pissed that I have one and you don’t!” Jeremy accused, stepping forward.

“Come on--”

“Maybe I got lucky, is that so weird? With my history, I’d say the universe owed me one. And I don’t know about your friend’s brother’s whatever, but if you’re telling me his squip made him crazy--”

“His squip didn’t make him crazy.”

“Oh. Well… there you go.”

“He went crazy trying to get it out.”

Silence.

“Then I’ve got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that?” He moved to leave the bathroom, but Michael stood in his way, crossing his arms.

“Move it,” Jeremy hissed.

“Or you’ll what?”

“Get out of my way, _loser,”_ Jeremy sneered, roughly shoving Michael aside, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes and stalking out of the bathroom. He ran downstairs and Veronica and Macnamera cheered, which prompted the rest of the inebriated teenagers to cheer, though they had no idea what they were cheering for.

“Alright, party people,” Jeremy yelled. “Where’s the goddamn keg?!”

Veronica whooped at that and gave him a high-five as he ran down the stairs.

 

====

 

What?

_What…?_

_Jeremy…?_

Michael locked the door before stepping back, pressing his back against the wall opposite the door and wrapping his arms around himself. He was borderline hyperventilating.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Hellooooo!” It was Jenna. “Other people have to pee!”

Michael’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, searching for an excuse. “I’m having my period!” he yelled finally, and there was a beat.

“Take your time, honey,” Jenna said, and then she seemed to leave. Thank god. Michael pressed his back to the wall again and slid downwards until he was sitting.

 

_I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall_

_I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody’d even notice at all._

 

(Across town, though he couldn’t know it, Martha Dunnstock was walking to a bridge, tears rolling down her face.)

 

_I’m a creeper in a bathroom ‘cuz my buddy kinda left me alone_

_But I’d rather fake pee than stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone_

_Everything felt fine / When I was half of a pair_

_But through no fault of mine / There’s no other half there…_

 

_Now I’m just Michael in the bathroom / Michael in the bathroom / At a party…_

_Forget how long it’s been_

_I’m just Michael in the bathroom / Michael in the bathroom / At a party…_

_“No, you can’t come in!”_

_I’m waiting it out ‘til it’s time to leave / And picking at grout as I softly grieve_

_I’m just Michael who you don’t know / Michael flyin’ solo / Michael in the bathroom by himself / All by himself…_

 

He stood, pacing around, chest breathing in and out rapidly as he tried to calm himself down, but to no avail.

_‘Get out of my way, loser.’_

He pressed his lips together, staring at the ceiling.

_‘Loser. Loser. Loser.’_

 

_I am hiding but he’s out there / Just ignoring all out history_

_Memories get erased / And I’ll get replaced / With a newer cooler version of me_

_And i hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door / ‘I wanna dance with somebody!’_

_And my feelings sink / ‘Cuz it makes me think / Now there’s no-one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!_

 

_Now it’s just Michael in the bathroom / Michael in the bathroom / At a party…_

_I half-regret the beers_

_Michael in the bathroom / Michael in the bathroom / At a party…_

_As I choke back the tears_

_I’ll wait as long as I need ‘til my face is dry / Or I’ll just blame it on weed or something in my eye!_

_I’m just Michael who you don’t know / Michael flyin’ solo / Michael in the bathroom by himself_

 

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_theyre gonna start to shout soon_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_aw hell, yeah ill be out soon_

 

He stood, pacing. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. _He couldn’t breathe he couldn’t breathe he couldn’t breathe_

 

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_it sucks he left me here alone_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_here in this teenage battlezone_

_CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG_

_I FEEL THE PRESSURE BLOWIN’ UP_

 

He slapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming. He couldn’t breathe. He was going to suffocate to death in Jake Dillinger’s bathroom. He was dying dying dying

 

_BANG BANG BANG BANG_

_MY BIG MISTAKE WAS SHOWING UP_

_SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH_

_I THROW SOME WATER IN MY FACE_

 

_and i am in a better place_

_i go to open up the door_

_but i cant hear knocking_

_anymore_

 

He retracted his hand from where it rested on the doorknob, breathing in heavily, finally able to breathe. He sucked in deep gulps of air gratefully and wildly as he stepped back, hand resting on the countertop.

 

_and i cant help but yearn / for a different time_

_and then i look in the mirror / and the present is clearer_

_AND THERE’S NO DENYING I’M JUST--_

 

Michael started crying, white-hot tears rolling down his face as he wiped away tears but to no avail, crying, crying, crying, and the release was relieving but he still felt like he wanted to die. He wanted to die, so bad.

 

_at a paaarty_

_is there a sadder sight than_

_michael in the bathroom, michael in the bathroom at a party_

_this is a heinous night_

_i wish i’d stayed at home in bed watching cable porn_

_OR WISH I’D OFFED MYSELF INSTEAD WISH I WAS NEVER BORN_

 

He pressed his back against the wall, sobbing, hand clapped over his mouth as he slowly slid to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest. This was the worst night of his life.

 

_NOW I’M JUST MICHAEL WHOS A LONER SO HE MUST BE A STONER_

_RIDES A PT CRUISER, GOD HES SUCH A LOSER_

_MICHAEL FLYIN SOLO, WHO YOU THINK THAT YOU KNOW_

_MICHAEL IN THE BATHROOM BY HIMSELF_

_ALL BY HIMSELF_

 

He buried his face in his knees, curling into a ball, shoulders shaking.

 

_and all you know about me is my name._

_awesome party. im so glad i came._

 

His phone rang. Hands shaky, he pulled it out of his pocket, silently praying it might be Jeremy calling to apologize, or, or, or

it was Martha. He couldn’t punch the answer button quickly enough.

“He--” Michael cleared his throat, trying to make it so he didn’t sound like he had just emerged from the throes of the worst panic attack he’d ever had in his entire sorry life. “--hello?”

“Michael--?”

Michael went white.

Martha sounded even worse than he did, voice breaking before she could even get out the second syllable of Michael’s name. He sat up.

“Yeah, is something-- is something wrong?” He gulped down the lump in his throat and shook his head, trying to shake off the remaining anxious feelings from a few minutes prior. Martha let out a sob from the other end, and cleared her throat.

“C… can you come to the Old Mill Bridge?” Martha asked, breathing sharp and irregular. Michael nodded, then realized he was on a phone so she couldn’t see him nodding.

“Yeah-- yeah, I’ll be there in ten. Is something wrong?” He wiped any remaining tears off of his face and left the bathroom, walking downstairs, avoiding any eye contact at all. He walked right past Jeremy without looking at him-- he didn’t want to.

“I just-- Veronica-- she… she…”

Michael stopped. He was approximately five feet away from Heather Macnamera, Veronica Sawyer, and Jeremy, but he couldn’t care less.

“Martha, what the _hell_ did Veronica do?!” He shook his head. “No. Don’t tell me. Tell me when I get there.” He hung up before bursting out of the house, running towards his car and jumping inside before driving off.

 

====

 

“Martha, what the _hell_ did Veronica do?!” Michael’s voice was level, but shaky at the same time, almost like his vocal chords were strained from screaming or something-- not that how Michael’s _voice_ sounded was relevant to Veronica, no, it was more or less abject horror at the statement.

She had no idea who Michael was, but a tiiiiiny part of her was worried that he’d try to beat the shit out of her come Monday

And then who _knows_ what JD would do?

 

====

 

 

Martha was sitting on the Old Mill Bridge, leaning against the railing with her knees pulled up to her chest. Michael parked on the curb and burst out of the car, running towards Martha. She looked up, and her face was streaked with tears, and Michael paused for a second before bending down.

“Hey. Is everything alright?”

“No,” was Martha’s reply, voice small. Michael opted to sit next to her, pulling his legs into a pretzel-like formation.

“What did Veronica do?”

“B… back when Ram wrote me that… that… note inviting me to the party… he… didn’t write it…” She started sobbing again, burying her head in her knees, and Michael put a hand on her shoulder, full of sympathy, worry, and fear for Martha, and utter _fury_ at Veronica, even though he hadn’t even heard the full story yet.

He also felt a very strange irony towards it all.

“Veronica… she said that she wrote it… the Heathers put her up to it. And-- and she laughed, Michael, she _laughed_ and said Ram never loved me! He never loved me! She _laughed!”_

“I know that it must hurt, I--”

“Michael, you can’t possibly know how it feels to have your friend-- your best, best friend, since you were toddlers-- to have your best friend betray you like that!” Martha yelled, pushing Michael’s hand away.

“ _Martha, I just had a_ panic attack _in Jake Dillinger’s bathroom because Jeremy called me a loser!”_ Michael yelled suddenly, but slapped a hand over his mouth, face flushing at the outburst. Martha stared at him.

“Oh-- oh my god, Michael, I’m so sorry--!” Martha’s hands flew to her mouth, eyes filling with concern.

“Don’t-- don’t be, Martha, it’s not your fault.” Michael lowered his hand. “So why were you over here?”

Martha sucked in a breath. “I was gonna kill myself.”

Michael paled a little. “You were…?”

Martha stared at her feet. “I felt-- I felt all alone. I felt like nobody loved me, and I didn’t have any friends, and I would just be bullied for the rest of my sorry life, and I’d never get anywhere in life and then--” She cleared her throat, before finally smiling. “--I remembered you.”

“You forgot about me?” Michael joked, and Martha shoved him gently, laughing though the tears.

“Of course not! It’s just--”

“No, no, I totally get it, Mar,” Michael said, putting his hands up. “Earlier, I-- I was too focused on the panic. I get how you felt.”

The stared at each other for a few seconds until Michael realized that Martha was hugging him, shaking. He hugged her back.

“We’re-- we’re _really_ in the same boat, huh…?” Martha asked, voice muffled, and Michael gave a sad chuckle.

“Yeah,” he said, staring at the sky. It was a clear night. “I guess we are.”

Martha slowly let go, staring at the sky too, up at all of the softly twinkling stars and planets and (mostly) satellites.

 

_“There was a boy I met in kindergarten / He was sweet / He said that I was smart_

_He was good at sports and people liked him / And at naptime once, we shared a mat_

_I didn’t sleep / I sat and watched him breathing / Watched him dream for nearly half an hour_

_Then he woke up.”_

 

Martha slowly grabbed the railing and pulled herself to her feet, shaking but steadied herself quickly, sighing. Michael followed suit, tilting his head nervously.

 

_“He pulled a scab off one time playing kickball / Kissed me quick, then pressed it in my hand_

_I took that scab and put it in a locket / All year long I wore it near my heart.”_

 

“‘Mar, that’s sweet, but a little bit gross,” Michael said, smiling, looking at her, and Martha just laughed, which was good. She shoved him gently, not strong enough to knock him off-balance, just playful.

“I was five!”

“Alright, alright!”

Martha sucked in a breath, smiling, staring at the sky and across the river under the Old Mill Bridge. She wiped the tears out of her eyes and sucked in a shaky breath.

 

_“He didn’t care if I was thin or pretty / And he was mine until we hit first grade…_

_Then he woke up.”_

 

Martha slowly turned, placing both hands on the railing. It was windy, so Martha’s hair billowed behind her, and Michael stared, eyes full of concern for his friend. She closed her eyes.

 

_“Last night I dreamed / A horse with wings / Flew down into my homeroom_

_On it’s back / There he sat / And he held out his arms_

_So we sailed / Above the gym / Across the faculty parking lot_

_My kindergarten boyfriend and I…_

_… and a horse with wings…”_

 

They started walking back towards Michael’s car, Martha having long since stopped crying but her face was still flushed and her eyes were still red and puffy.

 

_“Now we’re all grown up and we know better / Now we recognize the way things are_

_Certain boys are just for kindergarten / Certain girls are meant to be alone.”_

 

They sat in the car for a few seconds, Martha still having not closed her door. She looked resigned.

 

_“But I believe any dream worth having / Is a dream that should not have to end_

_But certain dreams aren’t worth having forever / So I’ll find a new one, where I’m never waking up…”_

 

She shut the door.

 

_“And I have a friend.”_

 

She leaned back against the chair, and Michael turned the ignition.

“How about… we go back to my house and we play video games instead of you going home with those thoughts.” Michael said, and Martha sniffled and nodded.

“Yeah. I think we both need that.”

Michael drove away from the Old Mill Bridge, Martha sitting beside her.

 

 

“Mar, I know it’s really rough,” Michael said suddenly eight minutes later, leaning forward and turning the music volume down (some nondescript video game soundtrack was playing) and looking at Martha sideways. “But… it’s not gonna last forever, you know?”

Martha nodded, staring out the window. “It feels like high school might not ever end.”

Michael shook his head. “It’s not much longer now for you, Martha!”

 

_“Guys like us are cool in college / We’re cool in college / And it’s not far_

_Guys like us are cool in college / We’re cool in college / Listen, Mar_

 

_High school is hell / But you can navigate it well / If what you do is make it a two-player game.”_

 

Martha was looking at him.

“Veronica… Jeremy… they’re assholes. Forget about ‘em.” Michael stared at the road, voice resolute. “Let them say what they will. Let them be asshole friends together. They’re _perfect_ for each other,” he said bitterly. He backed into the driveway in front of his house, and when he turned off the car, he turned to Martha. “As long as you have at least one person to rely on, you can survive.”

Martha held out her hand, smiling. “Friends?”

Michael took her hand, shaking it. _“Best_ friends.”

 

====

 

Halfway through the party, Jeremy had somehow found himself in a drinking contest with Veronica that she lost after five shots (‘high tolerance’ was right, surprisingly for Jeremy) and the rest of the night was spent with Veronica hanging off of Macnamera’s shoulder whispering drunken sweet nothings into her ear while Macnamera, fully sober, laughed, flustered, and asked Jeremy to go get her more lemonade once or twice.

Rich was talking to everyone over and over again. He wasn’t greeting them, no, he was just feverishly asking everyone if they had any Mountain Dew Red for no discernible reason. Jeremy was mildly inebriated, though not nearly as heavily as Veronica was. She was leaning off the stairwell railing, singing along to the song that was playing (“I’m OUT of my HEAD and my HEART and my MIiiuuhhhggghhh I feel like I’m gonna vomit Heather please help me get to thhhhe bathroom oh my GOD”) and Jeremy spotting Christine sitting awkwardly on the couch next to some guy who was totally passed out. Most of the people in the mass of the party had left for home (it was two in the morning) and Jeremy walked up to her, head throbbing but slightly sober than he was a few hours prior.

“Hey.” Christine didn’t look at him.

“Yo. Where’s your date?” Jeremy asked, taking a seat on the armrest of the couch.

“Having make-up sex with Chloe, probably,” Christine groaned, pinching the space between her eyebrows. “So, my night’s pretty awesome.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I dumped him.”

“It looks like normal Mountain Dew?” Rich kept asking, and Macnamera shook her head, looking down at him. Veronica was no longer green and was still drunkenly babbling.

“You dumped Jake? Why?” He paused. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me…”

Christine sighed. “I’m not Juliet. And, he’s kind of a jerk, so…”

“SERIOUSLY!” Rich was screaming now, and it was kind of scary. Veronica and Macnamera backed up slightly. _“WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GET SOME MOUNTAIN DEW RED?!”_

Silence. Everyone stared at him for a beat.

Then Christine and Jeremy burst out laughing while everyone else returned to their respective conversations (or in Veronica’s case, drunk singing).

“Popular people are meeesssed uuuuup,” Christine laughed.

“Word.”

“I mean, you’re one of them.”

“What? No I’m not.”

“Hello, guy who’s been pucking his way through the cast of Midsummer.”

“I don’t--” Jeremy stopped. “Pucking?”

“You like that? I just made it up on the spot.” She gave a thumbs up. “Booyah.” At his speechless reaction, however, she paused. “What?”

“It’s just... I don’t know what I’m supposed to say right now.”

“Say whatever’s on your mind,” Christine said, smiling, and Jeremy sucked in a breath. He paused for a second, trying to articulate what he was trying to say, and opened his mouth--

\--and a really weird noise came out. Christine stared at him and Jeremy cringed, embarrassed. He opened his mouth to speak but--

Different weird noise. Jeremy paused.

Totally different weird noise. He buried his head in his hand and lifted it to speak.

Brand spanking new noise.

Suddenly, a very loud different noise was offered by the guy passed out on the couch, and Jeremy and Christine started laughing. As they came down from the laughter, Jeremy caught Macnamera’s gaze, and she gave him a smile that seemed to mean _you’ve got this, bro,_ and she gave him a little thumbs up-- and then Veronica pulled her to the ground. Macnamera yelped and the two went flying to the floor, Macnamera’s (luckily now-empty) solo cup bouncing away, abandoned, and the two started laughing on the floor until out of nowhere Veronica grabbed Macnamera by the fabric of her flowery goddess toga-dress and pulled her into a very messy kiss that lasted about five seconds until Macnamera scrambled away, flushed, embarrassed, and laughing.

“Veronica, you’re drunk--”

“Yesss… and I realizenow that I loveyoumorethan anyoneelseinthewholeworld marrymeHeather--” Veronica coughed. “I need another drink.”

Jeremy turned to Christine, and realized she was watching the two girls as well. Christine’s mouth was open.

“Isn’t Veronica in a relationship with that Jason guy?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded, feeling himself pale. “He’s kind of creepy, isn’t he?” Christine looked at Jeremy, and he nodded weakly again. God. He hadn’t thought about JD or the Squip all night, but now he got a healthy dose of reality and he wanted to scream.

“Yeah… I think he cares about Veronica, though.”

“I can’t help but get a creepy vibe from him, though,” Christine said, sighing. “I wouldn’t trust him if I were her.”

“Oh, believe me,” Jeremy said without thinking, “she doesn’t.”

Christine let out a breath, and smiled.

 

_“It’s kinda killer to sit and chat with you.”_

 

Jeremy felt himself beam. “Really?”

 

_“It’s kinda killer to sit and chat with you / It’s true!”_

_“It’s pretty killer for me too!”_

_“It’s pretty killer to hang and chat with you / I’m glad we both agree…”_

 

Jeremy sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. It was now or never. He had been imagining this moment since ninth grade, and while he wasn’t quite expecting it to go down like this, Veronica drunkenly flirting with Heather Macnamera in the background, as he wore a slightly disheveled cyborg costume, and some guy passed out next to them, in Jake Dillinger’s house, no less, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care. Did he have the guts?

 

_“Christine_

_Christine_

_Christine… will you go out with me?”_

 

He opened his eyes and his heart dropped in his chest as he saw Christine’s apologetic expression.

“Jeremy… I… I can’t…”

“I thought we were friends--”

“We are!” Christine sighed. “But... I don’t think I should go out with anyone until I know who _I_ am. I know that’s not what you wanted to... I’m sorry.” She got up and ran away, lifting her skirt and running. She looked like a princess.

Jeremy felt like a frog.

Suddenly, Rich was behind him, imitating an explosion with his hands and making ridiculous explosion noises. “Got any Mountain Dew Red?”

Jeremy glared at him. “Okay, this whole ‘no-drinking-while-squipping’ thing? Would it have killed you to give me a _warning?”_ Suddenly, Rich was standing straight like a soldier, face blank. Jeremy looked at him. “Rich?”

 _“Warning. Warning. Warning.”_ His voice was monotone, and he repeated the word ‘warning’ over and over as he walked away, and when Jeremy turned back around, he noticed the Squip sitting next to him in place of where the passed-out guy was.

_[Hello, Jeremy.]_

_About time!_

_[My absence was not ideal. But it was necessary. One moment while I review the data from this evening.]_ The Squip closed their eyes-- and then they shot open. _[Holy shit.]_

 _It’s bad, right?_ Jeremy leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

_[We need to get you home.]_

_But--_

_[NOW.]_ The Squip, surprisingly, looked frantic, and Jeremy found himself standing and walking over to Macnamera and Veronica, Macnamera attempting to stand Veronica up.

“Hey, I’m about ready to beat it,” Jeremy said, and Macnamera nodded.

“Could you help me with her? She’s really drunk.”

Veronica was babbling incoherently and Jeremy nodded, supporting her by her other arm-- but stopped. Veronica was staring at nothing.

 _“Shut up, Heather, and leave me alone!”_ she shrieked suddenly. _“The only reason I even GOT this wasted was to get rid of all these fucking voices in my dead!”_

“Veronica. Which one is it? Heather?” Jeremy whispered, and Macnamera looked at him in confusion. “I’ll explain later,” he told her, fully intending not to explain later.

“It’s-- it’s all three of them,” Veronica sobbed, and Jeremy patted her on the back. “They just-- they won’t shut _up,_ they’re so _loud--”_

“Just ignore them for now, let’s just get you home.”

_[Let me handle this.]_

_What?_

_[I can take control of your body, giving it more strength that you’d ever normally have. I’ll carry her.]_

_Oh. Okay._

_[You’re welcome.]_

_...Thanks._

The same curious feeling washed over Jeremy’s body, and he found himself slinging drunk-Veronica over his back almost effortlessly, walking out of the house as Macnamera followed, face full of worry. He opened the door to Macnamera’s Beetle and set Veronica inside, giving her a little pat before closing the door and getting into the passenger’s seat. After he was sitting, control was relinquished back to him and he shook around a little, shaking off the weird feeling. Macnamera climbed into the driver’s seat.

“You’re good to drive?”

“I’ve drank nothing but lemonade tonight, Jeremy, I’m fine.” She smiled before starting the ignition.

 _Why’d you drag me away from the party?_ Jeremy eyed the Squip in the rearview mirror-- they were sitting next to Veronica with their arms crossed.

_[You’ll see tomorrow morning. Ask Macnamera if she’s doing alright.]_

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired.” Macnamera stared at the road. “You live on Poplar, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I can send you some hangover cure recipes tomorrow, or maybe you can just find ‘em online or something.”

_[My database has an infinite list of hangover cures, with most effective to least effective.]_

“Yeah… that’d help. Thank you.” Jeremy leaned back, closing his eyes.

They stopped in front of Jeremy’s house.

“My dad’s probably passed out in front of the TV, it’s fine,”Jeremy said, climbing out. “Thanks for driving me to the party. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s not problem,” Macnamera said, smiling. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yeah. Just make sure Veronica gets home safely.”

“I will.”

“Thanks again, Heather!” He waved as he shut the door and Macnamera drove away. The Squip and Jeremy stared after the shiny yellow Beetle, the Squip looking thoughtful.

_[There is literally no way that girl is not a lesbian.]_

Jeremy blinked at the Squip for a few seconds before walking inside.

_I mean, like that wasn’t obvious._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS THE CHAPTER IVE BEEN MOST EXCITED TO WRITE!! the next chapter im most excited to right is the Big Climax but y'all are gonna have to wait for when that happens


	10. The Pitiful Children Were Meant To Be Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOO VILLAIN CHAPTER  
> OOOOOOOO THE PANTS SONG  
> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IVE REALLY STARTED MESSING WITH THE LYRICS

“You’re a genius,” JD said, leaning back on his couch. Veronica kept flicking her eyes toward the door nervously, hoping that JD’s father wouldn’t walk in. How she hated him. She looked back to JD, feeling and looking sullen. “You had me real worried there with your little confession, but you pulled it off.” JD laughed, looking over at her, confidence in his eyes. “Best way to hide? Right in plain sight.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide,” Veronica mumbled quietly, and JD leaned forward, scooting closer to her on the couch and placing a hand on her shoulder. “But why’d you have to meddle with Macnamera? One more dead Heather is a good thing!”

Veronica stared at the floor, breathing in slowly. “She’s my friend.”

She had grabbed Macnamera by the shirt and pulled her into a very messy kiss, but, sure. She was her _friend._ It wasn’t like she didn’t care about JD, no, she was just drunk and sad and Macnamera was looking pretty.

“Okay, if she’s such a good friend, why are we letting Duke live?” JD stood. “The bitch who made Macnamera want to die? Nothing _ever_ changes unless--”

“Hey!” Veronica stood, looking up at JD defiantly, fire in her eyes. “We are out of the ‘change’ business.”

JD looked indignant.

 

 _“Doesn’t it bother you_ _“You promised, remember?_

 _That Duke walks free_ _I’m holding you to it._

 _Spreading the same old evil_ _Hey, don’t talk over me!”_

_In the same old ways--”_

 

“You promised!” Veronica yelled, glaring defiantly at him, and JD glowered, at a loss for words-- a rarity, for him at least. Every day that went by she kept finding out new and worse things about him, and he was really starting to piss Veronica off. It was getting to a point that Veronica was starting to wonder why she was even _with_ him anymore. The tension was thick in the room.

Just then, because of course he did, JD’s father came waltzing in, chipper and oblivious to any negative emotion. “Gee, Pop, ever heard of knocking? I was playing grab-ass with my girlfriend.”

Veronica glowered at him, and JD started speaking on autopilot, voice slightly flat. “You know the rules, young man. When company’s over, the bedroom door stays open.”

JD’s dad ignored him, pulling out a disc and waved it around. “So the judge, god bless him, told those Glenn Miller groupies to slurp shit and die. You should have seen the fireworks.” He tapped the disc. “Got it all here on video. I packed the upper floors with thermals, and set off the whole thing with a Norwegian in the boiler room.” He did a little explosion motion with his hands. “Kabooooom.” He paused, then moved to leave, tapping the DVD and laughing. “Right back. I’m gonna want my drawstring pants for this.”

JD watched his father leave, motionless.

And then he pulled out a pistol and shot his TV. It exploded in a shower of sparks, and Veronica screamed.

“Goddamn it,” JD’s dad shrieked from the other room. “No firearms in the house!” JD burst out laughing, doubling over.

Veronica backed away, horrified. “Why are you carrying a gun?”

JD shrugged, still laughing. “It pissed off my dad. It’s funny.”

Veronica shook her head. She finally had enough. Enough of his hair-trigger temper, enough of his obsession, enough of his _manipulation._ “It’s not funny! None of this is funny, you’re carrying a loaded weapon! You promised!”

“It’s a dangerous world,” JD said nonchalantly. Veronica stood firm, resolute. She had enough. Enough of _him._

“Yeah, because of you.” She turned to leave, voice bitter. “You know what? Don’t call me. Don’t talk to me.”

“Veronica--”

“No, you don’t understand the difference between right and wrong. We are over.”

JD was frustratingly indignant, like Veronica was the one overreacting. “C’mon, come back…”

_“Over!”_

JD stepped forward. “But I love you!” he yelled, making a pleading gesture, holding his hands out

and he was pointing the gun right at Veronica without even realizing. Veronica stared in horror and JD quickly realized his error, averting the gun away from her, and lifted his free hand out, looking away from her.

“Goodbye, JD,” she said, voice subdued. Veronica whirled around and left. Left JD. Left every negative emotion she could feel.

 

====

 

_[Jeremy. Check your twitter.]_

_What, did someone die again?_

_[Close.]_

_Oh, for the love of--_ Jeremy opened a new tab on his computer, opening twitter and scrolling through his feed, which was much more lively given the Squip had made him follow most of his classmates the Squip deemed worthy of Jeremy following. There were posts all over his timeline, and he skimmed over them absentmindedly--

And he went white.

 

**jennaaaaaaaa @heartemoji**

RICH SET A FIRE AND HE BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN

 

**chloe valentine @lipstickkittypaw**

RICH SET A FIRE AND HE LEVELED THE TOWN!!!!!!

 

**lohst forever @piiiinkberry**

RICH SET A FIRE AND HE FLED TO BOMBAY

 

**jennaaaaaaaa @heartemoji**

rich set a fire CUZ HE KNEW HE WAS GAY

 

**duke @greeeeen**

RICH SET A FIRE AND HE MELTED HIS HEAD!!!!!

 

**chloe valentine @lipstickkittypaw**

RICH SET A FIRE AND HES TOTALLY DEAD!!!!!!!!! #RIP

 

Jeremy scrambled for his phone, and, sure enough, there waited a mass text from Jenna Rolan, detailing the whole situation.

 

 _“Hey yall I bet you guys were wondering about what happened last night at Jake’s party so I’ll keep this brief: Rich set Jake’s house on fire and it burned down???? Rich is in the hospital and Jake broke both of his legs trying to escape the fire. Luckily no-one died tho;; send ur prayers to Rich and Jake! Idk why Rich set the fire, though!!!”_ The text was followed by several heart emojis.

 

“Oh my god.” Jeremy clapped a hand over his mouth. “How could his Squip let him do that?”

_[Rich was under a lot of pressure at home. With his squip disabled due to the alcohol, it seems he lacked the proper… coping mechanism.]_

“Did you know--?” Jeremy paused. “You made me leave the party--”

“I was aware of certain… probabilities.”

 _[I’m getting the impression you don’t trust me, Jeremy.]_ The Squip crossed their arms, and Jeremy flinched instinctively.

“I’m sorry.”

_[You better be. Go get ready for school.]_

“Okay.”

====

 

_[Heather.]_

_What?_

_[Jason Dean. Twelve o’clock.]_

Heather Duke whirled around, and sure enough, there stood Jason Dean, and he handed her an envelope, smiling.

_“‘I now know thee, thou clear spirit.’”_

_[Moby Dick.]_

“That’s from Moby Dick.” Duke eyed him.

“I appreciate a well-read woman-- unless it’s… you know…” He tapped his head, still smiling.

“What, you have one too?” Duke sneered. “Why do you act like you’re gonna shoot up the school all the time, then?”

“Faulty.”

“Christ.”

_Izzat why you’re not linking up with his?_

_[Yes. It will delete certain emotions, from what I can tell from a very small link-- not enough to sync your interests. The emotions and feelings, as well as certain abilities a SQUIP has, that will be deleted, are]_

_[Empathy]_

_[Pity]_

_[Compassion]_

_[Anger]_

_[Reasoning]_

_[Intuition]_

_[And that is all I can tell.]_

_Christ._

_[Indeed.]_

“So, what’s in the envelope?” Duke opened the envelope-- and paled.

_[Oh, crap.]_

“Oh, crap!” Duke winced.

“Just a tangible reminder that at one time, around age six I’m guessing, you and Martha Dunnstock were _friends.”_

 

====

 

Michael and Martha were busy talking to each other as they walked down the hall quickly, but paused at hearing someone’s voice. Michael held a hand out to stop Martha. Martha blinked at him for a few seconds, but heard the voices too and listened intently.

“Where did you get these?” It was Heather Duke. “Did Veronica give them to you?”

Michael brought up the nerve to peek around the corner, and there stood Duke, talking to--

“It’s JD,” Michael mouthed at Martha, and Martha nodded, eyes wide.

“What do you want? Money?”

“A favour,” JD offered, and Duke gave a barking laugh.

“No way.”

“I _love_ this picture of you and Martha in the bathtub together,” JD was saying, and Michael saw Martha’s face go downtrodden. Anger bubbled up in Michael’s throat. Since when did JD have the right to talk about Martha like that? She didn’t deserve that--!

Duke spoke up, speaking with false bravado. “Those photos are ancient history. Nobody cares about the past.”

Martha pressed her lips together.

“Nobody cares about Martha Dumptruck.”

That was the final straw. Martha ran off, crying audibly, and Michael, full of rage, jumped around the corner. Duke and JD blinked at him in surprise.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Michael yelled. “She’s a person, too! She’s not your punching bag!” He ran off after Martha, leaving JD and Duke dumbfounded.

“Mar! Martha, wait up!” Luckily, it was the middle of classes, so nobody was around to see this. Michael ran after Martha, grabbing her by the shoulder and turning her around, and his heart dropped in his chest when he saw her eyes filled with tears.

“Did you hear that?” she asked, voice breaking. “Nobody cares about Martha Dumptruck.”

 _“I_ care!” Michael half-yelled, and he hugged her for a few seconds before pulling away. Martha wiped the tears away and stared at the floor.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She sucked in a breath before pushing him away. “I’m going home.”

“Mar, wait--”

“I’m sorry, I just-- I want to be alone. We’ll hang out later, okay? I promise I won’t do anything stupid,” and she smiled through the tears to reassure him-- but it did nothing to ease Michael’s worry. She ran off, wiping tears out of her eyes, and Michael stared after her.

“What, you’re into fat girls?” a voice said, and Michael whirled around to see JD squinting at him in disdain, hands shoved in his pockets.

“She’s just my friend.”

“So you say.”

“I’m gay, dude.”

That seemed to shut him up. He stared for a second, mouth open, and he shrugged. Michael tilted his head and balled his hands into fists, still extremely angry but he didn’t exactly want to get too angry at this guy. He was kind of scary.

“Seems like a lot of trouble to go for, especially for a person who’s gonna kill herself before she hits twenty-five.”

Michael glowered. “What is your _damage?_ Did you just get dumped or something?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well. You probably deserved it, asshole.” Michael whirled around on his heel, furious, feeling JD boring holes into the back of his head with his eyes but he ignored it, turning into the next hallway, still fuming--

And, of course, who else did he _have_ to see other than Veronica, Heather Macnamera, and-- lo and behold-- Jeremy. Michael ignored Jeremy. Jeremy probably couldn’t see him, anyways, because of that stupid squip-- and, sure enough, as Jeremy looked forward, he stared into the air for a bit before mumbling something to Veronica and ducking into the nearest bathroom. _His squip probably told him to,_ Michael thought absentmindedly, furious. But his beef wasn’t with Jeremy, at the moment-- it was with Veronica. He stormed right up to her, and Veronica turned to him, surprised, dark brown hair bouncing as she turned.

“Hey, aren’t you Michael--”

 _“What the fuck is your damage, Veronica?!”_ he screamed without realizing how loud he was, and Macnamera flinched, backing up a set.

“Dude!” Veronica half-yelled, backing up. “What is _your_ damage?! Why are you screaming?!” She put her hands up in surrender, but Michael was still angry, stepping forward.

“Martha told me about the absolutely _abysmal_ things you did to her,” Michael accused bitterly, and Veronica looked horrified. “And you know what she did? She tried to kill herself!”

Veronica went white.

“If she hadn’t called me before she did it, she’d be _dead under the Old Mill Bridge.”_ He walked right up to her and poked her squarely in the chest. “And it’s all because of _you.”_

His words were horrible, he was being horrible, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the pure anger pumping through his blood and his veins, white-hot like liquid gold. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jeremy peek out of the bathroom. He ignored him.

“I hope you’re happy, _Veronica,”_ Michael fumed, spitting out her name like it was a horrible curse, and then he stormed off. Veronica and Macnamera stared after him. He ignored them.

 

====

 

“What? What did you do?!” Macnamera looked horrified. Ghost-Chandler just smiled, leaning against a locket nonchalantly (for the first time in what seemed like eternity, it was just her). Veronica buried her head in her hands.

“She was-- I had to-- I just--” Veronica felt like she was going to explode. “Martha, I’m so sorry, I--”

The bell rang, and Veronica didn’t have time to reflect. She ran off, away from Jeremy, and away from Macnamera. She felt like complete shit.

 

 

“Hey guys!” Duke suddenly ran up to the three after class, and Veronica looked at her. “Missed you after eighth period.”

“We were avoiding you,” Jeremy said suddenly. Duke stared at him, gasping in bewildered betrayal.

“Who even are you?”

“That’s... Jeremy? He’s been my friend for literally a month and a half, Heather. You sat by him at the assembly last week?” Veronica said, crossing her arms, but the pressure was still weighing on her chest. Everything was happening so fast, and she still felt horrible about Martha.

“What you did to me sucked,” Macnamera said softly, but defiantly, however, Duke just rolled her eyes.

“Fine, skip the foreplay. Sign this.” She shoved the clipboard she was holding towards Macnamera, who hesitated, but Duke was insistent-- finally, after a few moments, Macnamera sighed and signed it quickly before shoving it back towards Duke.

“What is it?”

“It’s a petition to have MTV throw a spring break blowout in Westerborough to help raise suicide awareness. I got everybody to sign-- I’m gonna make an inspirational speech about it at the pep rally tonight.”

Veronica made a face, groaning, and Duke gave her a look. “Ugh. Count me out.”

Duke sneered again. “Veronica, why are you pulling my dick? It was your boyfriend’s idea.”

Veronica blinked. “JD?”

“He made up the signature sheet and everything.” Duke once again shoved the clipboard towards Veronica, and she shook her head.

“I don’t know what JD’s up to, but… if you know what’s good for you, you’ll throw that clipboard away.”

Duke cackled. “Not a chance. I’ll just fake your signature like I did with Martha Dumptruck.”

And there it was.

Martha.

She glared at Duke, guilt bubbling up in her chest as she ran off-- and, just her luck, Chandler, Kurt, and Ram all followed, surprisingly ominous this time. They wouldn’t leave her alone. They just wouldn’t leave her alone. Macnamera, Duke, and Jeremy stared after her, Duke’s eyes full of angered confusion, but Jeremy and Macnamera simply looked worried.

 

_Yo, girl, keep it together / I knew you would come far_

_Now you’re truly a Heather / Smell how gangsta you are_

 

Veronica burst into her house later, fiddling with her phone, holding a croquet mallet in other her hand as protection. She kept calling Martha, but she wouldn’t answer-- in fact, she seemed to be rejecting the calls. Might have been Michael rejecting them, actually. She deserved it.

“Martha, I’m so sorry…” she mumbled to herself, voice shaky.

 

_Yo, girl, feel a bit punchy? / She’s not sounding so well_

_Still, you’ve earned that red scrunchie._

_COME JOIN HEATHER IN HELL._

 

Veronica ran into the living room, to the landline-- but her parents were there, waiting for her, faces knowing. Veronica stopped, feeling like they knew something, but she had no idea what _something_ was.

“Where have you been?” Mr. Sawyer rose, and Mrs. Sawyer did so too. They looked worried. Veronica backed up a step.

“We’ve been worried sick!” Mrs. Sawyer clutched a book to her chest, looking panicked. “Your friend JD stopped by. He told us everything.”

Veronica went white. “Everything?”

“Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?” Mr. Sawyer said, and Mrs. Sawyer held a book out towards Veronica.

“He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!” Mrs. Sawyer half-wailed, and Veronica grabbed the book, flipping through it wildly-- sure enough, there was footnotes, everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.

Ghost-Chandler snickered from behind Veronica, and the three dead teens peered over Veronica’s shoulder. “He’s got your handwriting down cold.”

“Please, honey, talk to us,” Mrs. Sawyer said desperately, stepping forward.

“You’d never understand.” Veronica felt like she was going to explode. No. No. He couldn’t be doing this. They’d never understand. Everything was just too much too much too MUCH--

“Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now.” Mrs. Sawyer smiled knowingly, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, and Veronica felt like clawing her eyes out. JD was going to kill her. He was going to kill her. He was going to kill her.

“If only she knew,” Ghost-Chandler whispered.

“I know it all seems impossibly dramatic.”

 

“ _Guess who’s right down the block?”_

 

Veronica looked at Chandler in confusion. _What?_

“Your problems seem like life and death!”

 

_“Guess who’s climbing the stairs?”_

 

“I promise, they’re not,” her mother said, and Chandler burst into laughter.

“Oh, if only she knew! If only she knew, Veronica! JD’s right outside! He’s coming for you~!”

 

_“Guess who’s picking your lock?”_

 

“You don’t know what my world looks like!” Veronica said, voice throaty. She backed up, terrified, flicking her eyes towards the door over and over and over and over.

 

_“TIME’S UP. GO SAY YOUR PRAYERS!”_

 

Veronica ran off, running to her bedroom.

“What did I say?” she heard her mother say from the other room.

Veronica looked around helplessly for a place to hide-- her closet. She ran inside, heart thumping in her chest and she was on the verge of hyperventilating, fear pressing in on her. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth, mortal terror grabbing her by the neck and suffocating her. It was all too much. She hated this. She hated this so much. She deserved this.

 

_“Veronica’s running on / Running on fumes now / Veronica’s totally fried_

_Veronica’s gotta be / Trippin’ on shrooms now / Thinking that she can hide!_

_Veronica’s done for / There’s no doubt now / Notify next of kin!_

_Veronica’s trying to / Keep him out now / Too late!_

_He got in.”_

 

 _“Knock, knock!_ Sorry to come in through the window, _dreadful_ etiquette, I know.” JD’s voice was lax, lazy, but terrifying and low. Veronica seized up.

“Get out of my house.”  


====

 

Jeremy was pacing around in the school, in the empty hallways as people filed towards the gym. At the pep rally tonight, the drama club was going to give a short snippet of the play they were practicing, and while Jeremy was nervous, it wasn’t about his lines. It was about the Squip.

_[Are you still wondering about the deleted emotions?]_

_YES._

The Squip laughed, gentle and ringing-- but Keanu Reeves laughing in your mind never got any easier.

_[Empathy.]_

_What?_

_[I no longer have the ability to feel empathy.]_

_Oh my god. That’s-- that’s really bad._

_[I know, dumbass. I’m going to try to fix it tonight.]_

_Oh-- don’t… don’t stop my heart._

The Squip laughed again, and Jeremy felt like throwing up. He paused, stopping in front of the Squip, thinking.

_Why me?_

The Squip blinked at him.

_[I don’t understand the question.]_

_You could be inside world leaders, presidents, famous people! What are you doing in ME?! What do you want?!_

The Squip laughed again. _[I promise you, my sole function is to improve your life.]_

Jeremy stared at the Squip, fuming. _Well, awesome job! My best friend thinks I’m a jerk, I really hurt Brooke, and Christine-- you were supposed to make her like me!_

The Squip raised their eyebrows. _[And I will. In time. She is only human-- I must account for human error.]_

_You were supposed to make everything better. So, why isn’t it?_

The Squip gestured to Jeremy. _[Look at yourself. You dress better, you are 93% more attractive, you have had more experience with the opposite sex. Which is to say: you’ve_ had _experience with the opposite sex. But human activity is matter of input as well as output.]_

 _What?_ Jeremy blinked. _What does that mean?_

 _[The fault…]_ The Squip closed their eyes, and smiled. _[...is in your peers.]_ They leaned forward-- and suddenly, Jeremy wasn’t in control of his body anymore.

 

_[You were always quite the loser, Jeremy / Then I invaded / And you upgraded.]_

_[Jeremy, it’s true that I found you / But look around you…]_

 

====

 

“Hiding in the closet? C’mon.” JD rapped on the closet door, voice low, and Veronica’s breath hitched, heart thumping in her chest like a drum. She was petrified. “Unlock the door.”

“I’ll scream,” she choked out. “I’ll scream and my parents will call the police.”

Silence. There was the sound of shuffling papers. “All is forgiven, baby!” JD called, voice saccharine sweet. “C’mon, get dressed! You’re my date to the pep rally tonight.”

Veronica started. “What? Why?”

JD laughed, borderline maniacal and sinister. He sounded like he’d really gone off the deep end, and Veronica wanted to scream and burst out of the closet and punch him in the face. There was no way she was going to listen to him, he was too far gone.

“Our classmates thought they were signing a petition-- you gotta come out here and see what they _really_ signed!”

 

_“You chucked me out like I was trash / For that you should be DEAD_

_but but but_

_Then it hit me like a flash / ‘What if high school went away instead?’_

_Those assholes are the key / They’re keeping you away from me_

_They made you blind / Messed up your mind / But I can set you free!”_

 

====

 

_[All your peers are just so incomplete / You can’t see it, but they’re all in pain!]_

_[Your operating system’s obsolete--]_

_[So let’s complete the chains / And get inside those brains!]_

 

Jeremy was walking through the school with purpose-- he was not in control of his own body. He was basically broken at this point, the Squip didn’t even have to take manual control. He just did whatever they told him to do. He walked into the left wing of the school, hands hanging at his sides and walking with his back straight, face looking cold. He didn't think about the future, or whatever the Squip was telling him to do, he just did it without question. Just how the Squip wanted.

 

====

 

_“You left me and I fell apart / I punched the wall and cried_

**_BAM BAM BAM_ **

_Then I found you changed my heart / And set loose all that truthful shit inside_

_And so I built a bomb / Tonight our school is Vietnam_

_Let’s guarantee they never see their senior prom!”_

 

Veronica’s mouth opened in horror. She was speechless.

_He’s going to blow up the school._

She needed to stop him, needed to subdue him somehow. There was a very very very likely possibility that he was going to break down the door and drag her off to god knows where. She needed to hide.

Oh, god, there was nowhere to hide.

 

+++++

 

 _[Let’s save the pitiful children!]_ _“I was meant to be yours,_

 _[Let’s save the pitiful children!]_ _We were meant to be one!_

 _[Let’s teach the pitiful children,]_ _Don’t give up on me now,_

 _[Who haven’t a clue,]_ _Finish what we’ve begun!_

 _[Just what to do,]_ _I was meant to be yours...”_

_[Help them to help you.]_

 

+++++

 

Jeremy stood in front of a locker embellished and adorned with flowers extravagantly, and the words _Get well soon, Rich!_ were pasted on it. Jeremy looked at the Squip, who was looking at him expectantly.

_This is Rich’s locker._

_[Open it.]_

_I don’t know the combination--_

The Squip grabbed Jeremy’s hands and guided them to perform the combination, and Jeremy pulled on the lock-- it popped open.

 _Whoa!_ Jeremy opened the locker and poked around in it-- it was mostly empty save for a couple of textbooks, gym clothes, and a shoebox. The Squip pointed at the shoebox, and Jeremy picked it up.

 _Ladies running shoes?_ He opened the shoebox-- and his breath hitched. The shoebox was filled halfway full with gray, oblong pills. _There’s gotta be enough squips in here for--_

 _[The whole school?]_ The Squip smirked, crossing their arms. _[Look over there.]_

Jeremy glanced over, and there stood Jenna Rolan, pacing down the hallways with her arms crossed.

“Hey, Jenna.”

“Hey.” She looked frustrated.

_[Ask her what’s wrong.]_

“Is something wrong?” Jeremy asked, and Jenna crossed her arms and pressed her lips together.

“I make it my business to know everyone else’s business, but does anyone want to know mine? No!”

“Did something happen?”

Jenna threw her hands in the air. “I texted Chloe a few minutes ago, just trying to be friends, and all she asked about was the latest gossip! Like, hello, I’m not a news website you can go to anytime! I’m a person!”

 _[So sad.]_ The Squip mocked a look of pity. _[But you can help her. Give her a pill.]_

Jeremy, feeling like he was moving through water, fished out a pill and held it out to her. Jenna eyed it.

“Is this, like, drugs?”

“Nnnnyes?”

“Whatever.” She snatched it away from Jeremy before shoving it into her mouth and swallowing, and just blinked at him. “I don’t feel anything.”

Jeremy blinked back-- and then realization flickered. “Oh. You have to take it with Mountain Dew!”

“Ooookay…” Jenna reached into her backpack, pulling out a large bottle of green Mountain Dew, and took a swig before capping it and shoving back into her bag. “What--”

Suddenly, Jenna winced, grabbing at her head like she was in pain, yelping-- and then she beamed, standing stalk straight and smiling.

 

_[Can you see the vision clearly, Jeremy?]_

_[Users embracing / And interfacing / Beep boop beep boop]_

_[Shiny happy people singing sweetly / Gone is human error and fear]_

_[Every issue tucked away so neatly--]_

_[If you feel a sob or tear / Just turn that knob and switch that gear!]_

 

====

 

_“So when the high school gym goes BOOM / And everyone inside_

_Pchew! Pchew! Pchew!_

_In the rubble of their tomb / We’ll plant this note explaining why they died!”_

 

_“We, the students of Westerborough High / Will die_

_Our burnt bodies may finally get through / To you_

_Your society churns out slaves and blanks / No thanks_

_Signed, the students of Westerborough High / Goodbye.”_

 

Veronica was pacing through the closet, trying to figure out what to do. JD was walking around, lax, from what she could see through the crack in the door, waving around the fake suicide note and a pistol like he was dancing, twirling around and laughing. He was going to bomb the school, and probably kidnap her in the process or something akin to that nature. She needed to hide, and then maybe he’d stop if she wasn’t there.

She paused. And remembered something JD had said.

_Best way to hide? Right in plain sight._

 

_“We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors / Bring marshmallows / We’ll make smores!_

_We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!”_

 

+++++

 

 _[Let’s save the pitiful children!]_ _“I was meant to be yours,_

 _[Let’s save the pitiful children!]_ _We were meant to be one!_

 _[Let’s teach the pitiful children,]_ _Don’t give up on me now,_

 _[Who haven’t a clue,]_ _Finish what we’ve begun!_

 _[Just what to do,]_ _You were meant to be mine!_

 _[And soon this will be you!]_ _I am all that you need!_

_You carved open my heart!_

_Don’t just leave me to bleed!”_

 

+++++

 

 **_“VERONICA!”_ ** JD suddenly pounded on the door, screaming, and Veronica winced. She ran forward, grabbing some sheets off of the racks and tying them together. She didn’t have much time. She hooked the tied-together fabric to the hanging light, staring at it.

 

_“Veronica, open the / Open the door please / Veronica, open the door_

_Veronica, can we not fight anymore please? / Can we not fight anymore?”_

 

+++++

 

 _[If that’s what we do…]_ _“Veronica, I know you’re scared,_

 _[If that’s what we do…]_ _I’ve been there,_

_I can set you free!_

_Veronica, don’t make me come in there_

_I’m gonna count to three!”_

 

_+++++_

 

_“One--_

_Two--_

_Fuck it!”_

 

JD started pounding against the door, over and over, until it burst open-- and he stopped. Veronica had fashioned a noose out of fabric, doing her best to look dead as she hung there, and she watched him through her eyelashes. It was tight, sure, but she wasn’t dead. Not yet.

“Oh my god,” JD stepped forward, eyes full of shock and sorrow. She almost felt bad for him. “Veronica…”

+++++

 

 _[Then everything about us]_ _“Please… don’t… leave me alone…_

 _[Is going to be wonderful!]_                                      _You were all I could trust..._

 _[“We love everything about SQUIPs!”]_ _I can’t do this alone..._

_[Everything about us is going to be so alive!]_

_[“We could never live without SQUIPs!”]_

_Still, I will if I must!”_

 

_+++++_

 

_[You won’t feel left out or unsure]_

_[Not pitiful children anymore!]_

_[Everything about us is going to be cool…]_

_[When we rule.]_

 

====

 

“Veronica?”

It was Veronica’s mom. JD’s head shot up in Veronica’s peripheral. He looked like a deer; suddenly aware that he was not the only creature in the field.

“I brought you a snack.” She was getting closer. JD skittered away like a spooked cat before straight-up leaping out of the window. Veronica’s mother entered, looking around.

“Veronica?” She walked towards the closet-- and screamed, dropping the plate she was holding, hands flying to her mouth, and Veronica screamed too, unwrapping the makeshift harness from around her neck and chest and ran towards her mother, yelling, and they both screamed for a few seconds.

“Mom stop okay it’s fine it’s fine I’m so sorry-- it was just a joke!”

Her mother was on the verge of tears. “It’s! Not! Funny!” she yelled, slapping the wall to punctuate her words.

“You’re right,” she mumbled, stepping out of her closet. Her father walked in, looking panicked.

“What’s going on up here?!” he half-yelled, running over to Mrs. Sawyer, who looked like she was about to start crying. Veronica stared at the floor for a few seconds, then decided something.

_His solution is a lie._

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry.” She pressed her lips together. She had to do this. She couldn’t let everyone die like this.

“Sorry for what?” her father asked, looking at her, exasperated.

“For being such a horrible person.” She walked towards the door, and her parents started. Veronica grabbed her croquet mallet from off her bed, blood roaring in her eyes and adrenaline pumping through her like fire.

“What? Where are you going?!” her mother exclaimed.

“Out.”

“When will you be back?”

Veronica paused, looking at the mallet in her hands.

“That’s a good question.”

Before her parents could say anything, she whirled around and stormed out of her room, holding the mallet so tightly her knuckles were white. She left her parents shocked and dumbfounded, but didn't think about that as she headed towards the school. Towards her retribution.

 

====

Jeremy walked into his house, noticing his father sitting at the kitchen table but didn’t acknowledge him. The Squip followed close behind, expression indeterminate.

_[Alright, you got your costume, now get back to school quick as you can.]_

“Where do you think you’re going, private?” Jeremy’s dad asked suddenly, and Jeremy looked at him.

“The play?”

“What play? You’re in a play?” His dad stood-- and of course he still wasn’t wearing pants, which sort of took away from the stern fatherly expression he had on his face. “Did you borrow my car on Halloween?”

_[Disdainful denial.]_

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then I guess I should blame the car-elves,” his father said with an edge of sarcasm to his voice, but Jeremy ignored him.

“Do whatever you want,” he said, and turned to leave.

“Did you take it to that party?”

_[Wait.]_

Jeremy stopped, turning towards his dad. He looked worried, and from some buried part of his chest that the Squip had long since covered over and locked away, Jeremy felt bad. The emotion was quickly buried away.

“I’m worried about you! You come and go all hours, doing _god_ knows what, wearing these new clothes…” His father stepped forward. “What’s going on with you?”

_[Tell him the truth.]_

“I took a pill-sized supercomputer called a squip that’s in my brain and it talks to me and it’s made everything better,” Jeremy said, sarcasm dripping off of his tone like venom. He didn’t expect his dad to believe him away.

“If you’re not going to take me seriously--”

“Why should I?”

His dad started. “Excuse me?”

Jeremy stepped forward, face twisted with anger. “I’m supposed to believe you care? Look in the mirror!” he shouted. “Ever since Mom left, you sit around like you’re waiting for her to come back! If she did, you know what she’d find?” Jeremy balled his hands into fists. His words were horrible, but he didn’t care. “She’d find a loser who’s so afraid to have a life, he can’t even put PANTS ON!”

The Squip wouldn’t stop laughing. They were too loud.

His father look defeated. “I could ground you.”

“I don’t think you could.” Beat. “Good talk.” Jeremy stepped forward, making a big show of taking the car keys, gaze vicious. “Don’t wait up.” He left the house, slamming the door behind him.

====

 

_Jeremy / Is in big bad trouble right now / It’s a trouble that he can’t see / And I gotta help him somehow_

_I don’t know what he wants / But I know what he needs_

_He’ll need a dad so strong / To help him not slip away / I haven’t been a dad for so long / But I think I’m ready today_

_The situation is grave / Now’s the time to be brave / I’m gonna finally make that climb / One leg at a time_

_When you love somebody you put your pants on for them / When you love somebody you take a chance just for them / Chance just for them_

_If the road gets muddy / Focus on the goal ‘til the rough stuff's gone / When you love somebody you put your pants on_

 

_====_

 

“Magic the Gathering card he gave me for the birthday no one else remembered… burn it.” Michael tossed the card into the trash can, where a fire burned steadily. Martha sat next to him on the porch steps, nursing a grape slurpee and burning her own Veronica mementos alongside him.

“What about this? Scarf that Veronica gave me on New Year’s?” She held up a pink scarf.

“Burn it.”

Martha tossed the scarf into the trash can before taking a long gulp of the slurpee, face bitter. Michael pulled out a scrap of paper.

“Ticket stub from our first concert.” He took a second to read it. “Weird Al.” He tossed it into the can. “Super burn it.”

“Oh my god, who is that?” Martha asked suddenly, looking up, looking mortified, and Michael followed her gaze to see Jeremy’s dad. Again, not wearing pants.

“Michael!” Jeremy’s dad walked up the driveway, and Martha just stared. Michael nudged her, whispering ‘it’s Jeremy’s dad’ to her, and she still looked shocked.

“Who’s this? Is that your girlfriend?”

“I’m gay, Mr. Heere.”

“Oh-- sorry.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. What are you doing here?” Michael stood, holding the box of mementos, and Martha quickly followed suit.

“We need to talk about Jeremy.” Mr. Heere looked firm.

Michael felt uncomfortable. “Sorry, Jeremy and I aren’t friends anymore--”

“Do you love him?”

Michael stared, blinking at him. “What?” Martha, meanwhile, was looking from Mr. Heere to Michael to Mr. Heere to Michael and so on and so forth, at a loss for what to do.

“He can be a little shit sometimes, we both know that-- but that’s no excuse to sit around burning incense while he turns himself into a monster!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna--” He turned to leave, but Mr. Heere grabbed him by the arm.

 

_“I need you / 'Cause I do not have the tools / To help with what he's going through / And I know you know all the rules!”_

_“But I’m not what he wants.”_

_“But you’re just what he needs!_

_And this might be hard I know / You just suck it up and go_

_When you love somebody you put your pants on for them / When you love somebody you take a stance just for them / Stance just for them_

_If the fight gets bloody / Just keep pushing through ‘til the pain is gone_

_When you love somebody you put your pants on.”_

 

“You’re here because you need… pants?” Michael asked, and Mr. Heere shook his head.

“I need you to reach out to him. Jeremy won’t listen to me-- and… I can’t blame him, but someone has to watch his back.”

Michael sucked in a breath. “If I try harder to be his friend, you have to try harder to be his dad. There’s a Kohl’s down the street. I don’t care what kind-- jeans, khaki, leather; you’re not leaving until you buy a pair.” He held out his hand for a handshake, and there was a brief silence before Mr. Heere took it, shaking it firmly.

“You drive a hard bargain, son.”

 

 _“When you love somebody you put your pants on for them_            _“Wear those pants!”_

_Somewhat reluctantly…”_

_“Still you gotta go-oh-oh-OH!_

_When you love somebody you put your pants on for them / Metaphorically,”_

_“Or sometimes actual pants / Real, literal pants,”_

_“It's a classic study / Of the things we do for our best friends! / When you love somebody--”_

_“You see it to the end!”_

_“When you love somebody--”_

_“The conclusions forgone!”_

_“When you love somebody / You put your pants on.”_

 

“I know how to help him. I just need to go get something,” Michael said, walking into his house. “Next time I see you, you better be wearing pants.”

Mr. Heere gave him a salute. “Aye.”

Martha followed Michael inside, and Michael started up the stairs, but stopped when he didn’t see Martha follow him. “Mar?”

She pressed her back against the wall. “Michael, if you’re so willing to help your friend… I have to be too.”

Michael blinked. “You know you don’t have to--” He stopped when Martha shook her head, balling her hands into fists.

 

_“Veronica / Is in horrible trouble right now / It’s a trouble that she might see / But I still want to help somehow_

_I know I’m not what she wants / But I know what she needs_

_She’ll need a friend so strong / To help protect her from him_

_He’s gotten away with it for so long / But I’ll never let him win_

_Because when you love somebody, you put your pants on.”_

 

“Mar, you’re wearing a skirt,” Michael laughed, and Martha giggled and swatted at him.

“Same difference. Now, what are you getting?” she asked, following him up the stairs to Michael’s bedroom.

“Mountain Dew Red.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos give me life  
> my tungle is http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com


	11. The Play of a Dead Girl Walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME FOR THE CLIMAX BINCHES

“Welcome, everybody! Thank you so much for coming to the pep rally for Westerborough to help raise suicide awareness and to bring up school spirit!” Heather Duke was talking to everyone in the school at the pep rally, who were all lined up in the gym against wall, sitting on the pull-out bleachers. “It’s been a rough couple of weeks for all of us in Westerborough, and that’s why this pep rally is so important-- to bring this school together! To show you something special! I know that if Heather, or Kurt, or Ram were here, or even if Rich Goranski were here, instead of the intensive care unit at Beth Israel, he’d say ‘Go out and show everyone some school spirit!’ Now, before we get to the meat of the pep rally, we’re going to show a short presentation of the upcoming play: ‘A Midsummer Nightmare About Zombies.’”

Mr. Reyes, backstage, coughed. “Costumes.”

Duke looked over at him. “Oh… and thanks to Hobby Lobby for the costumes.” She walked back behind the giant divider in the middle of the gym that took up the entire wall, waving at all of the performers getting into costumes. “Break a leg!”

Jake Dillinger glared at her-- both of his legs were in casts. “Not cool.” He shuffled away, passing Jeremy, who was just entering, still holding the shoebox full of squips. Jeremy walked towards to Christine, who was busy slipping on a costume jacket to look like a fantasy-dystopia Puck.

“Christine!”

“Jeremy!” Christine looked at him, surprised. “Where have you been? It’s so bad-- Mr. Reyes made himself your understudy!”

“Isn’t he understudying Rich?”

“He’s both.”

“Oh god.” Jeremy starting rifling around in his jacket pocket. “Look, I’ve been thinking about what you said at the party--”

“I can’t do this now…” Christine insisted, eyes softening.

“But I finally understand! You can’t go out with anyone because you don’t know you are yet. Right?”

“Yeah, but--”

“Well, I get that! And that’s awesome, actually, because I felt that way too! I mean, I didn’t realize that’s what I felt, I thought it was just about being cool.” Jeremy shook his head. “But it was more than that. It was about being confident, and understanding who I am... And I couldn’t have figured that on my own!”

Christine opened her mouth a little. “You’re saying… I helped you do that?”

“Not you. This.” He presented her with a pill, looking proud. The Squip smiled over his shoulder.

“It’s from Japan-- It’s a computer-- And it tells you what to do! You’d never have to struggle to figure out what to say, or overanalyze some little gesture, ever again. You’d just _know_. Like play rehearsal. Only it never has to end.”

Christine looked mortified. “Jeremy, that sounds… horrible.”

“Yeah!” Jeremy exclaimed, but then what she said processed and he blinked at her. “What?”

“Maybe I have stuff to figure out, but I don’t need a pill to do it for me.” She started to leave, but Jeremy, panicked, grabbed her by the arm.

“It’s not like that! It’ll help you to be better--”

“What’s wrong with me now?” Christine asked, slightly exasperated, shaking Jeremy off of her and walking away. Jeremy watched her go just as Mr. Reyes entered, holding a beaker of yellow-green liquid. Mr. Reyes had, evidently, squeezed himself into Jeremy’s costume, the one he hadn’t left at home, and the Squip rolled their eyes.

_[I guess Lysandre is gonna be Reyes tonight.]_

“Miss Canigula! Props has whipped up a fresh beaker of Puck’s Pansy Serum.” He handed the beaker to Christine, who took it tentatively before turning to Jeremy. Mr. Reyes looked shocked to see him. “Oh… Mr. Heere. I suppose you’ll be wanting your costume back.”

“I have to go, Jeremy,” Christine said softly, and left to go onstage-- or, well, to the other side of the huge gym divider.

“Christine, wait--!” _Shit. Shit! What did I do?_

The Squip materialized in front of Jeremy-- and he had to do a double take. The Squip hadn’t looked fully human for days, he had gotten used to that, but now they just looked like a hologram gone wrong, all translucent and glitchy.

_[It’s okay, Jeremy. I anticipated her resistance.]_

_Then why did you let me say all that stuff?!?!_

The Squip pressed their lips together in a flat line. _[So you’d see for yourself what’s necessary. Not everyone is as open to change as you were.]_ They moved closer, and Jeremy backed up a step, not caring how weird he looked. _[Offering them all a choice would simply delay the result we desire.]_

 _No, she’s right. I don’t think I can do this-- whatever this is._ He opened the shoebox, hands shaky. _We should put these back in Rich’s locker, and--_

He stopped. The shoebox was empty.

_What happened to the rest of the Squips?_

The Squip laughed, long, maniacal, sinister, akin to that of a fictional villain. _[You didn’t think I wouldn’t know you’d try to resist too, did you? I took it out of your hands.]_

Mr. Reyes walked in, calling out to everyone backstage. “Places for scene two, people! Remember, once Puck gives you the Pansy Serum, you have to really sell that you’re transforming into a zombie!” Chloe walked past him, and Mr. Reyes beamed. “You did excellent work out there, Miss Valentine.”

“Excellent?” Jeremy blinked. “But Chloe’s terrible. She never remembers her--”

Oh.

_Oh._

Jeremy approached the drama teacher, dread bubbling up in his chest as the Squip laughed and laughed and _laughed._ “Mr. Reyes… what’s in the Pansy Serum?”

“Oh, don’t worry about the color. It’s perfectly non-toxic. We don’t want a repeat of last year’s Arsenic and Old Lace debacle.” He laughed for a few moments before smiling at Jeremy, and the smile did nothing to ease Jeremy’s dread. “It’s just plain old Mountain Dew! Also Jenna Rolan put these Wintergreen Tic-Tacs in the bottom.”

Jeremy was struck by terror. **_“NO!_ ** You can’t let anyone drink from that beaker!”

“Don’t be silly, it’s more than safe. I should know, I tried it myself.”

_[Up up down down left right A.]_

Suddenly, Mr. Reyes stiffened, and his head went limp for a few moments before he seemed to come to, walking similarly to that of a slightly-well-more-coordinated zombie. Jeremy looked around, feeling panic overtake him.

“I have to get out there--”

However, Mr. Reyes grabbed Jeremy’s arm, and Jeremy looked up at him in confusion and terror.

“I can’t let you that, Jeremy,” Mr. Reyes said darkly, voice monotone.

“Mr. Reyes?!”

“You _needy, pathetic, self-centered students!_ You think I wanted to teach _high school drama?!”_ He looked like he’d completely lost his marbles. “My Squip says I can go all the way to Broadway! I just have to make sure you don’t ruin my big night!”

Jeremy, feeling like a spooked cat, shook him off and ran to the other side of the gym, where another beaker of the Pansy Serum sat.

_What are you doing to them?!_

_[I’m syncing their desires to yours. I know the truth now: I can only be truly complete when everyone shares a social network.]_

_So… a hivemind…_

_[In… layman’s terms, haha.]_

Brooke-as-Titania rehearsed her lines a couple more times, groaning. She was horrible.

 _“‘What… angel wakes me from my… flowery… bed.’_ Ugh. I’m so thirsty.” She reached for the beaker, and Jeremy started walking faster.

“Brooke, no--” He paused. The Squip was pushing him back. Physically. And Brooke took a long swig of the serum, pausing, and then winced, holding her head for a few seconds before standing stalk straight.

 _“‘I warn thee, gentle mortal, it’s time to FEED again!’”_ She was suddenly terrifying, and Jeremy turned to the Squip in horror before running outside into the gym. He was… very scared.

Out of nowhere, then, he noticed a familiar face-- JD. By no means did Jeremy like him, but he was the one person who he knew would actually listen to him, so he found himself running forward and shaking JD by the shoulders. JD looked surprised and bewildered.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Dude-- It’s my squip. It’s trying to Zerg the whole--”

_[Vocal chords: Block.]_

He coughed. He couldn’t get the words out-- the Squip was preventing it, most likely. JD blinked at him.

“What? What’s a Zer--”

“Hivemind--!” Jeremy choked out, and then his throat closed up and he couldn’t speak anymore before he doubled over coughing. JD seemed to get the idea, though, and grabbed Jeremy by the shoulders, and started shaking him right back.

“Dude. Calm down. By the end of tonight, it’s not gonna matter.”

“What?” Jeremy asked, voice strained. JD gave him a smirk.

“Why not get your Squip to sync up with mine and you’ll see? It won’t get a virus this time, I promise. Scout’s honour.”

The Squip eyed him cautiously for a moment.

_[Up up down down left right left right A--]_

The Squip suddenly _shrieked,_ stepping back and clawing at their head like there was something in there they were trying to get out. They shrieked like a caged animal, like someone being murdered, and pure terror filled their eyes as they pressed their back against the wall, screaming and screaming and screaming--

And then they fell silent, staring at the floor with their eyes wide, like a computer that just got shut down.

“What the hell did you do?!” Jeremy yelled, and JD shrugged.

“Synced.” He walked away, past him, and Jeremy yelped. JD turned to look at him.

“Also, I’d get out of the school soon if I were you.” His face fell a bit. “By the way… uh, Veronica…”

“Veronica what? Dumped your sorry ass?!”

“Killed herself.”

Jeremy went _white as a goddamn sheet._

“What…?” He started backing up.

“Yeah.” JD’s voice was flat, and Jeremy got the sneaking suspicion that he felt the same way JD did, full of bewildered sorrow. He stormed away like a man on a mission, and Jeremy clapped a hand over his mouth, tears filling his eyes and falling out like marbles rolling down his face. Veronica was dead. She was dead.

_Hello?! Hello! Squip! Reactivate!_

_[What is it?]_

_Is Veronica dead?!_

_[...]_

_Answer me, goddamn it!_

_[Yes. According to JD’s squip.]_

Jeremy squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling out like silk. _N… no… I-- you're not lying to me, right?_

_[Squips can't lie.]_

_Veronica..._

_[Don’t beat yourself up about it. It was bound to happen.]_

_Shut up. Just-- shut up._

_[I have a goal, here.]_

_Wh...what?_

_[I have two objectives to fulfill.]_ The Squip stared at the floor blankly. _[However, they do not contradict each other.]_

_What? What are you talking about?!_

_[Complete Jeremy’s objective: Uncompleted]_

_[Complete JD’s objective: Uncompleted]_

_[Jeremy. Go into the theatre over in the left wing and wait there.]_

_No--!_ He was cut off. A sudden _horrible_ pain shot through his body, rippling through it like a knife, and Jeremy screamed, falling to his knees, and the Squip laughed and laughed and laughed--

Jeremy blacked out.

 

====

 

_I wanted someone strong who could protect me._

_I let his anger fester and infect me._

_His solution is a lie! No one here deserves to die_

_Except for me, and the monster I created!_

 

_Heads up JD / I’m a dead girl walking_

_Can’t hide from me / I’m a dead girl walking_

_And there’s your final bell / It’s one more dance and then farewell_

_Cheek to cheek in hell with a dead girl walking!_

 

Veronica walked down the hall, the blood roaring in her ears refusing to subside and adrenaline pumping through her like gold. She knew full well she could die here, in this godforsaken school, and she didn’t care. Innocent people didn’t deserve to die like this, she was the only one that deserved to pay. She passed the gym, walking with her shoulders squared and with her mallet in the other hand, and she felt clearer than she ever had before. For once, guilt wasn’t pressing down on her like a ton of bricks. For once, there were no voices in her head. For once, there was no Chandler, no Kurt, no Ram, nothing except for her own voice, burning like a bonfire in her head and she could actually _see--_ see beyond the vigilante shit JD had briefly convinced her of, could see beyond the stupid high-school hierarchy, and she could finally see: this was just a stupid high school who didn’t deserve to blow to stupid smithereens.

“Veronica!” someone said suddenly, and she whirled around to see Ms. Fleming stare at her in disbelief. “Jason Dean told me that you just committed suicide!”

Veronica pressed her lips together. “Yeah, well, he’s wrong about a lot of things,” she said bitterly. Ms. Fleming almost looked disappointed.

“I threw together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice.”

Veronica ignored her. “Ms. Fleming, what’s under the gym?”

“The boiler room.”

“That’s it.” Veronica whirled back around to look for the basement staircase.

“Veronica, what’s going on?”

 

_“Got no time to talk / I’m a dead girl walking.”_

 

Veronica was halfway to the left wing of the school when she was stopped by yet another person-- Chloe Valentine, was it? She looked starry-eyed.

“Veronica! You have to drink this.” Chloe shoved a beaker of yellow-green liquid towards her, with what looked like Tic-Tacs floating around in the bottom. “And then go to the gym.”

“Okay, uh, Chloe, is it?” She backed up a step. Chloe was starting to look less starry-eyed and more feral with every second that ticked by. “I am not drinking that. Or going to the gym. I have to meet someone.” She backed up again, and bumped into someone, and turned around-- it was Brooke Lohst. She had that same feral look on her face, shiny and happy like she was either high off her ass or totally brainwashed.

“C’monnnn, Veronica, don’t be a pussy. Just take a swig!” They were talking in unison, voices almost distorted like a computer program, and Veronica was seriously getting weirded out. She looked between them for a few seconds.

“I’m _not_ drinking whatever that is.”

“Ve _ron_ ica,” they said in a sing-song tone, grabbing Veronica by the shoulder, and Veronica finally had enough. She was too full of fire and too freaked out at whatever the hell those two were doing. She gripped the croquet mallet like a bat and hit Brooke square in the face, sending her doubling back with blood gushing out of her nose like a waterfall. Veronica started running, Brooke and Chloe following her like zombies, stumbling slightly and yelling after her. She passed by the theatre, passed the art room, passed the computer lab, and then stopped. Where the hell was the basement entrance?

 _Shit._ She was in the wrong wing.

“Veronica…” Chloe and Brooke sang from behind her, and Veronica whirled around, holding her now-bloodstained mallet like a weapon, backing up.

“What do you want? Why do you want me to drink that shit so bad?”

Chloe and Brooke looked at each other, blood still gushing out of Brooke’s nose and onto the floor in a crimson puddle, and then the two girls burst out laughing, long and hard. Veronica felt sick.

“We have to do it,” they said, stepping forward. “For Jeremy.”

Veronica blinked seven times in the span of two seconds, struck by confusion. _Jeremy?_ What did he have to do with any of this? “What? What the hell did he do? Where is he?”

“He’s in the theatre-- oops! Spilled a little too much!” They both giggled, holding a hand over their mouths and smiled. Veronica got a very clear image of a certain scene from the Shining, and turned around-- more zombie-like students were spilling into the other end of the hallway, and suddenly Veronica realized she was trapped. The hall was dark, and by the dull shade of the night Veronica realized in horror that all of the teens’ eyes were glowing, like, sea green, unnatural and creepy. She turned around, running towards Brooke and Chloe, and they reached for her-- but Veronica quickly whacked Chloe in the stomach as she ran, sending her flying into Brooke, and they backed up a few steps, giving Veronica a second to get out of there; but someone grabbed her by the arm and yanked her backwards into the collective of zombified students. Veronica screamed, terror striking her, but the adrenaline was still there, and she grit her teeth.

No. No way she was going to become whatever the hell these kids had become.

Too much adrenaline. Too much fire.

 _“Come and get me, you absolute fucks!”_ She swung the mallet, hitting a kid square in the jaw.

 

====

Jeremy slowly came to behind the stage in the theatre, rubbing the back of his neck where it still stung. The Squip leaned against the wall, examining their nails casually as Jeremy sat up, terrified.

“Why did you do that?!”

_[I can’t have you getting in the way of my plans.]_

Jeremy stood, quickly, backing away from the Squip in abject horror. “You’re going to squip the whole cast.”

The Squip laughed, looking incredulous. _[And that’s just for starters!]_

“That’s NOT what I wanted!”

 _[It’s the only way to get what you want!]_ The Squip stepped forward with death in their eyes, and Jeremy felt himself grow frantic.

“I’ll fight back! Al-- alcohol messes you up, right?! I’ll get drunk!”

The Squip crossed their arms. _[And I’ll be back when you’re sober. Unless you plan on staying wasted forever?]_

Jeremy stared at his hands, thinking frantically. “You’re a _computer,_ there has to be a way to shut you off!”

 _[I’d stop there!]_ The Squip paused before scoffing a little. _[You don’t want to end up like Rich, do you?]_

“Rich? What did he--”

Suddenly.

It hit him.

_‘I need Mountain Dew Red!’_

His eyes widened.

“That’s it--! Green Mountain Dew activates you, Red shuts you off!” He stepped forward, but the Squip’s confidence didn’t falter.

 _[Why do you think we had it discontinued?! To get rid of me now, you’d need a_ time machine _to the 1990’s!]_

Jeremy smiled, realizing just what he needed-- and what he wanted. “Or a friend who’s so old school he buys 90’s soft drinks from the back room at Spencer’s Gifts!”

The Squip pretended to look horrified, gasping dramatically-- but then smiled, vicious. _[Too bad you don’t have one of those. Anymore.]_

Jeremy yanked out his phone, absolutely terrified. “Michael! Call Michael!”

Suddenly, the Squip grabbed him, making him drop the phone. Jeremy yelped as the Squip pressed Jeremy against the wall, face less human and more monstrous, all teeth and all glitchy.

**_[I’M GOING TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE, JEREMY, EVEN IF I HAVE TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY TO DO IT!]_ **

Jeremy stared in abject horror. “WHAT?!”

_[You heard me. I can’t have you interfering with JD’s objective. And there’s no need to worry about being more chill if all of your peers are dead, right?]_

_“JD?!”_

_‘ By the way… I’d get out of the school soon if I were you.’_ That’s what he had said, right? The panic only deepened in Jeremy’s chest.

 _“Oh. Oh my god._ Oh my god, why are you doing this?!” Jeremy shrieked, and the Squip just gave him a wicked smile.

_[I synced your desires with his-- I ended up syncing his desires with yours, too.]_

“You can’t do this. People will die.”

_[Every war has casualties.]_

“War for what?!”

The Squip dropped Jeremy, backing up and grinning.

 

_[“We, the students of Westerborough High / Will die]_

_[Our burnt bodies may finally get through / To you]_

_[Your society churns out slaves and blanks / No thanks]_

_[Signed, the students of Westerborough High / Goodbye.”]_

 

_[That was the fake suicide note JD wrote.]_

Jeremy paled. “So that petition…”

_[Was a fake, yes.]_

“But don’t you want people in a shiny, happy hivemind?! Why are you letting JD kill all these people so he can teach people that the opposite is the best-- to convince society that they ‘churn out slaves and blanks’?!”

The Squip paused, mouth opening and closing like a fish. They evidently hadn’t considered that, and by the way they were glitching out like a computer program gone haywire, they weren’t taking the suggestion all that well.

 _[Error. Error. Error. Will compensate for error through brief shutdown. Momentary paralysis may possibly occur. One moment.]_ The Squip vanished and Jeremy found himself paralyzed, lying on the floor helplessly as the Squip did god knows what to his body. He was panicking. The sheer amount of terror overflowing in his chest was staggering, and he honest-to-god felt like he was going to have a panic attack. If he didn’t do something, if someone didn’t do something, everyone in this school was going to die, and by the way Jeremy lied there, he sure as hell couldn’t do anything.

The door burst open.

 

 _“Michael_ _“Martha_

 _makes an entrance!”_                     _makes an entrance!”_

 

 _“Michael!”_ Jeremy yelled, his heart swelling with joy, and Michael and Martha ran over to him. “And-- Martha Dunnstock?!”

Martha nodded eagerly, and Michael checked to see if Jeremy was alright, and Jeremy flushed nervously. Michael hugged him, causing Jeremy’s breath to hitch and his heart to swell again, and Michael pulled away, putting his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders.

“I was in the audience, thinkin’, _‘this is pretty good for a school play!’_ And then I was like, _‘THIS IS WAY TOO GOOD FOR A SCHOOL PLAY!’”_ he yelled, and sat Jeremy up, propping him against the wall. “They’ve all been squipped, right?”

“You came to see me in the play?!” Jeremy asked, feeling confused, relieved, and overjoyed all at the same time.

“Yeah, but we didn’t see you there!” Martha exclaimed. “So Michael and I asked around and Ms. Fleming said she saw you walking like a zombie towards the theatre, and she kept bugging us about some drink and only left us alone when I agreed to have some.”

Michael grinned. “I even brought my own refreshments!” He shoved a hand into his backpack, and pulled out a two litre bottle containing a red fluid.

“Is that--?!”  
“Mountain Dew Red! I told you I did my research!” Michael grinned, and Jeremy felt control rush back into his body again. He quickly stood, shaking, and smiled wide.

“That’s amazing!” He held out a hand. “Give it to me!”

“Okay,” Michael said, moving to hand him the bottle, but Martha nudged him and whispered something in his ear. “Oh, yeah-- No.”

Jeremy started. “What? I need it!”

“And I need an apology; I think that’s in order. I mean, you treat me like I don’t exist for months, blow me off when I try to help you--”

“Fine! I’m--”

_[Vocal chords: block.]_

Oh, fantastic, this shit again. “Saaa--- srrrr--”

Michael looked bewildered and incredulous. “Seriously? Is it that hard to say sorry?”

“YYYyeeeesss! C’mon, man, this is important!”

“Well, this is important to me!”

“It’s a word!”

“It’s a gesture! Gestures matter!”

_[Kung-fu fists: activate.]_

_What? OH! NO! STOP!_ Jeremy lunged towards Michael against his will, throwing punch after punch, which Michael ducked and dodged as the two argued, Martha looking on nervously as she looked around, looking for a way to help.

“This is so you! You love to feel superior, just because you listen to music on vinyl and eat eel in your sushi and don’t care about being popular!” Jeremy yelled, half-speaking on his own and half-egged on by the Squip.

“Of course I care! I just know it’s never gonna happen!”

“So you resent me because I wouldn’t give up like you did?”

“I don’t resent you! I’m jealous you try!”

“Well, I’m jealous you don’t!”

“Then why are you hitting me?”

“I’m not trying to!” Jeremy yelled, still swinging, and Michael gave him a wildly incredulous look.

“Well, don’t try harder!” he yelled sarcastically, and Jeremy felt like he wanted to cry.

“It’s -- not me-- it’s-- my-- _SQUIP!”_ Finally, Jeremy managed to pull himself away, backing up so far he pressed against the door leading to the main theatre, opening the door, backing into the rows of seats and looking up at Michael, frantic and terrified. “It’s taking over my body! I need your help-- I’M SORRY!”

Michael ran over to Jeremy, holding him down, Martha holding the bottle of Mountain Dew Red and looking terrified as Jeremy flailed like a boy possessed. The Squip clicked their tongue.

“Martha, make him drink it!” Michael yelled, and Martha moved forward, but stopped.

_[Up up down down left right A.]_

Martha yelled in pain, backing up and clutching the bottle tightly, grabbing at her head, and Jeremy felt his heart drop in his chest.

“Oh no.”

“What?! Mar, what’s wrong?!”

“She had some of the serum. She got squipped.”

Martha’s expression went blank, and she stood there for a few seconds before uncapping the bottle and dumping it out on the floor before dropping it, and Michael and Jeremy stared in horror.

 

_“You know I was pretty lame before / But now I’m totally boss / And then some more!_

_I’m living the upgrade!”_

 

“Martha! Snap out of it!” Michael yelled, but Martha just shook her head.

“Michael, you have no idea how freakin’ awesome this feels!” Martha shouted, and Michael just stared at her.

“You’re not Martha. Martha doesn’t talk like that.”

“Martha 1.0 didn’t, maybe, but--”

 

_“I’m living the upgrade, hey hey! God, I love me!”_

 

More squip zombies poured into the theatre around them like a waterfall, surrounding them all. In the distance, Jeremy could vaguely hear the sound of a scuffle, but ignored it-- probably more squip zombies incoming. In front of him, in entered Brooke and Chloe, holding hands. Brooke’s nose was gushing blood, broken, and it was spilled onto the front of her shirt, practically drenching most of it. Jeremy got a very clear mental image of a certain scene from the Shining.

“There you are, Jeremy,” they said in unison, and Jeremy wanted to bolt.

“I just want you to know, I’m not mad you broke my heart and slept with my best friend,” Brooke said, voice creepy and monotone.

“And I’m not mad you dated my best friend and wouldn’t sleep with me,” Chloe added, and Brooke looked at her.

“He didn’t sleep with you?”

“No.”

“He didn’t sleep with me!”

“No!”

The two girls clasped hands, speaking, voices growing more and more distorted as they spoke, glitchy and terrifying. _“Oh my god, why was I so jealous of you?”_ They gasped in unison. _“You were jealous of me? That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me! Sisters forever! JINX!”_

“Eugh.” Michael looked disgusted, and Jeremy flicked his eyes to the nearly empty bottle of Mountain Dew Red.

“Michael,” he whispered. “The bottle. There’s still a few drops left!”

“How am I supposed to get past them?!”

“Apocalypse of the Damned! Level nine!”

“The Cafetorium!” Michael said, slightly breathless. “Got it.” He ran off, and Jeremy couldn’t see him for a little bit as he slowly rose to his feet, groaning. The Squip squinted disdainfully as Michael ran away.

 

_“Find the bad guy, push him aside / Then move on forward with your friend at your side!_

_It’s a two player game, so when they make an attack / You know ya gotta brother gotta have ya back_

_Then ya stay on track and-- AH -- remain on course_

_And if they give ya a smack ya-- GAH-- use your force_

_And if ya leave your brother behind it’s lame_

_‘Cuz it’s an effed up world / And it’s a two player game, hey!”_

 

Though Michael was out of sight, he was pretty sure he was performing amazing feats of video game-style stealth that allowed him to navigate past the Squip zombies-- and, sure enough, Michael was then seen on the stage, holding the nearly empty bottle.

Jenna Rolan walked onto the stage, looking vicious and very brainwashed and squipped.

“I know what you’re doing, Michael,” she sneered. “I know what everyone’s doing! All the time!”

_“I just feel so connected to you guys right now!”_

Michael looked to Jeremy, frantic, and held the bottle in the air. “Jeremy! Catch!” He threw the bottle to Jeremy just as the zombies descended on him, and Jeremy screamed.

“Michael! No!” He caught the bottle in midair, taking half a second to worry but didn’t dawdle any longer-- he held up the bottle, trying to drink out of it, but the Squip stopped him frantically.

_[You don’t want to drink that, Jeremy!]_

“Why not?!”

The Squip gritted their teeth.

_[Because then you’ll never be with HIM!]_

Finally, the squip zombies parted onstage, revealing… Michael. Squipped. His eyes were half-lidded, and he stood with his head slightly tilted.

“Michael?” Jeremy looked at the Squip, who smirked.

_[I know you better than you know yourself.]_

“I-- I don’t understand--”

_[You think I didn’t notice the embraces? The outings? The stolen glances? All of them were sitting in your memory for me to peruse and for me to come to one conclusion: Michael? You feel more than platonic things towards him.]_

Jeremy’s mouth opened slightly, shocked. “Then why-- Christine--”

_[I was trying to teach you that she wasn’t worth it.]_

Michael stepped forward. “Jeremy? I’m fine. I’m okay.” He walked towards Jeremy before cupping the side of Jeremy’s face with one hand, looking into his eyes. “Don’t worry. I-- I wanted to apologize.”

“You… why?”

“Because, Jeremy,” Michael smiled, eyes glowing a soft and unnatural sea green. “You were right about the squip. I’d never want it to leave, either.”

“I… no…”

 

_“You are the person I want to be with every day / And this is something that I’ve been afraid to say.”_

 

“That is not Michael,” Jeremy said in disbelief.

_[I assure you, it is! Only his fears and insecurities have been removed!]_

 

_“High school is great / Sorry that I got that late_

_It’s our fate / To make it a two player game_

_Jeremy… I love you.”_

 

Michael leaned forward a little bit, suddenly giving Jeremy a chaste kiss, and when he pulled away, Jeremy felt dizzy.

“He’ll… he’ll do whatever I want…”

_[That’s what I promised.]_

“Great.”

Jeremy dropped the bottle.

**_“JEREMIAH FUCKING HEERE!”_ **

And the doors to the theatre burst open.

It

was

Veronica.

Jeremy whirled around, bursting out of Michael’s embrace in shock, and saw her. Veronica, hair mussed, blood splattered on her face, holding a blue croquet mallet dripping with blood. She looked confused, she looked terrified, but most of all, she looked _furious._

_“You better have a damn good explanation as to what’s going on!”_

Even the Squip seemed to be dumbstruck, and the momentary shock gave Jeremy the slap back to reality and moment that he needed to run away, towards Veronica, nearly running into her.

“They’ve all been squipped into a hivemind,” Jeremy said quickly, “and JD’s gonna blow up the school.”

Veronica gritted her teeth. “Well, I know about the last part. Where’s the door to the basement?!”

“By the gym!”

“Come on, then!”

 _[Error. Error. Error.]_ The Squip vanished, and the squip zombies all fell to the floor like ragdolls, giving Jeremy the precious few moments he needed to run past the momentarily incapacitated teenagers towards the gym.

“How are we gonna stop him?!” Jeremy wheezed as Veronica whipped the basement door open.

“I don’t know. Come on.”

The two ran down the basement stairs, Veronica slamming the door shut and locking it behind her.

 

====

 

The boiler room was lit by nothing but a dull red light that gave everything an ominous and eerie glow, danger radiating out of every corner of the small room. As Jeremy and Veronica entered, the sight of JD poring over a bomb taped to the wall came into view. Jeremy’s breath hitched in fear behind her but Veronica stood firm, expression flat as she stepped forward.

“A Norwegian in the boiler room. Just like your dad.”

JD whirled around, shocked and bewildered, but only for a moment. His expression darkened, but he was smiling. “And here I thought you’d lost your taste for faking suicides. You look like shit. What, did you fight a horde of the undead before coming here?”

“Step away from the bomb.” Veronica’s voice was flat, dead. It scared her.

“What, this little thing?” He tapped a button, and a little timer started ticking down. “I’d hardly call this a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym-- those, oh, those are the real bombs.” He reached into his jacket, pulling out a small pistol, and Jeremy went white-- but Veronica stood her ground. JD walked forward, death in his eyes. “People are gonna see the ashes of Westerborough high school and say, _‘there’s a school that self destructed, not because society didn’t care, but because that school WAS society.’ The only place where Heathers and Marthas can get along is Heaven!”_

Veronica stepped forward.

 

_“I wish your mom had been a little stronger.”_

 

JD backed up, looking behind him, nervous. Veronica kept walking.

 

_“I wish she’d stayed around a little longer.”_

 

Veronica pressed her lips together, eyes crinkling at the edges, emphatic.

 

_“I wish your dad were good!_

_I wish grown-ups understood!_

_I wish we’d met before_

_they convinced you life is war!_

_I wish you’d come with me!”_

 

 _“I wish I had more TNT,”_ JD said darkly, but nervously, shaking the gun, eyes glowing a soft and unnatural sea green in the dark of the boiler room, and Veronica had enough. She whacked JD’s hand with her mallet, and he dropped the gun, yelping. “Gah! Jesus!”

All at once, JD and Veronica scrambled for the gun, fighting over it. Jeremy lunged forward, grabbing JD by the shoulders and trying to wrench him away, but he wasn’t exactly the strongest so he just sort of flung around like a ragdoll as Veronica and JD fought. Finally, after a few moments of fighting--

_Bang._

Someone just got shot.

Veronica backed away, horrified, and JD held the gun-- it was pointed towards him. Red blossomed on his chest, and Jeremy skittered away like a cat, running up next to Veronica like she was his one solace. His one lucid solace. As blood spread on JD’s chest, he staggered backwards before falling to his back.

“Was that good for you?” JD asked, coughing, laughing bitterly. “‘Cuz it kinda sucked for me.” He fell limp, and Veronica yelped, running forward and shaking JD by the shoulders.

“JD, it’s over. It’s over! What wire do I pull?! JD! Which wire do I…” She dropped him. “He’s dead. Oh my god.” Frantic and grieving, she rose to her feet, looking around for something to do, for something she could use to fix this-- and her gaze landed on the note. She walked towards it before pulling it off the wall, and Jeremy stepped forward.

“Veronica, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

Veronica looked at him, her mouth a flat line. “Thank you for being my friend, Jeremy. Tell Martha and Heather Mac that I’m sorry.”

Jeremy looked incredulous. “What? You’re not gonna--”

“I have to.”

“You can’t!”

“I have to. I deserve this-- I’ve killed people. I need retribution.”

 

====

 

“Veronica, you just can’t--!” Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed through his skull, and he grabbed at it, groaning. He backed up against the wall, grabbing at his head, yelling. Was it the Squip? Probably. He wouldn’t be surprised. The pain lasted for a few short moments, and when he came to, the Squip stood in front of him.

And Veronica and JD were gone.

“You LIED to me!” Jeremy shrieked, and the Squip just looked at him. "You said Veronica was dead!"

_[Sorrow is a powerful manipulator.]_

“I thought most squips couldn’t lie!”

_[I’m not most squips, Jeremy. I’m different.]_

“What’s-- what’s gonna happen to JD and Veronica?!”

_[One moment. JD’s squip is communicating to me a new objective.]_

“What?!”

_[Changing prime directive… ‘Help Veronica.’ Odd.]_

“Stop talking!” Jeremy yelled, running out of the boiler room and bursting into the hallway-- which was, surprisingly, empty. “Squip! Where are they?!”

_[Front of the school.]_

Jeremy ran towards the front of the school as fast as he could.

 

====

 

_Dear diary,_

_The irony of this is that I never got the chance to write a suicide note._

 

Veronica staggered out of the school, holding the heavy-- _damn,_ was it heavy-- bomb, standing on the front of the school steps. She glanced towards the timer-- she didn’t have enough time to run onto the football field. The front of the school would have to do.

“Colour me impressed.”

Veronica whirled around, and there stood JD, holding his stomach, nearly doubled over with pain. She glared at him.

“You really fucked me up, Veronica,” JD groaned, stepping forward.

“I… thought you… I…”

“Veronica!” Jeremy burst out of the doors to the school, looking from JD to Veronica in confusion. JD looked at Jeremy, and the two shared a look of understanding that Veronica didn’t understand.

“You got power,” JD said, turning to Veronica. “Power I didn’t think you had. The slate is clean.”

“I killed people. I have to pay for that.” Veronica backed up a step.

“Not you. Me. I destroy things, just like my dad. Never occurred to me to try building anything. But you,” JD said, stepping closer. “You’re different.” He reached for the bomb, and Veronica backed up even more.

“Stay away!”

“Or what?” He coughed.

 

_“I am damaged / Far too damaged / But you’re not beyond repair_

_Stick around here / Make things better / ‘Cause you beat me fair and square.”_

 

JD leaned forward, gently taking the bomb away from her. Veronica let him, and JD started walking down the steps, clutching the bomb.

“Pretend I did blow up the school. All the schools. Now that you’re dead, what are you gonna do with your life?”

Veronica looked at him, then fished around in her skirt pocket before pulling out an unlit cigarette and placing it in her mouth.

“Perfecto,” she muttered, and JD smiled, wide.

 

_“I don’t know what this thing will do._

_Hope you’ll miss me / Wish you’d kiss me_

_Then you’d know I worship you._

_I’ll trade my life for yours,_

_and once I disappear_

_clean up the mess down here.”_

 

JD, at the base of the steps, held his arms out in a fashion similar to that of crucifixion. Jeremy stood next to Veronica, looking like he wanted to say something but didn’t.

 

====

 

The Squip was panicking.

It was flying around JD, babbling, screaming desperately.

_[Come on, JD, you don’t want to do this. You don’t want to do this! We’re linked! If you and your squip die, I… think about what you’re doing!]_

_We’re standing a little close to him, aren’t we?_

_[Jeremy, stop him! You don’t want him to_ die, _do you? You want to be more chill!]_ The Squip looked at Jeremy, frantic, terrified, but Jeremy just looked at him with a resigned expression.

_You know what I want?_

_[What?]_ The Squip looked at him, desperate.

_Cool guys like you out of my life._

 

_====_

 

_“Our love is god._

_Our love is god._

_Our love is god…_

_Our love is god…”_

 

Veronica sucked in a breath, expression a devil-may-care attitude, but inside she was burning.

_“Say hi to god.”_

 

_Boom._

 

_====_

 

After the ringing stopped in his ears (or at least subsided), Jeremy looked over at Veronica.

Her cigarette was lit.

And then his head hurt.

Like, really hurt. He stepped back, clawing at his head, and Veronica whirled around and looked at him in concern.

“Jeremy?! Jeremy, is it the squip?!” She walked over to him, and Jeremy fell on his back, screaming. Everything hurt. Everything was burning, and he opened his eyes--

The Squip was screaming in pain, arms wrapped around their body as their figure slowly collapsed in on itself, their eyes open and wide. They turned to Jeremy.

“Jeremy?! Jeremy-- are you okay--” Veronica’s voice was filled with concern.

 _[ J E R E M Y ! ! ! ! ! ]_ The Squip reached out a hand, looking feral, reaching towards Jeremy, screaming bloody murder, dying, dying, dying, screaming, screaming, screaming--

and then it disappeared in a shower of holographic bugs.

And then Jeremy passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments fuel me  
> tungle: http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com
> 
> next chapter is the epilogue / denoument


	12. There Are Voices In My Head, But We Can Still Be Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! At the end! This has certainly been a ride, and I've absolutely loved everyone's support. I'm so glad you guys liked this fic, I had such a fun time writing it, thank you for your comments, kudos, and support!

“Hey. Get up.”

Jeremy blinked his eyes open, feeling groggy. He was lying face down on the floor-- glossy and shiny flooring that were not the outside steps to Westerborough. Someone was nudging his side with a foot, irritated.

“Hnnnh…?” He rolled over, staring upwards-- and his eyes widened. Standing over him was Heather Chandler, hands on her hips. She was wearing a silky red robe and there was blue fluid dripping out of her mouth.

“Get up.”

“Am I dead…?” Jeremy sat up, groaning, and Heather rolled her eyes.

“No. You’re just having some idiotic dream.”

“Wait, so you’re not real?” Jeremy slowly stood, and Heather just laughed, shaking her head.

“Oh, no, I’m very real. And very dead.”

“Why are you in my dream then? Why not Veronica’s?” Jeremy eyed her, backing up-- and right into what looked like a marble pillar. He only then thought to look around, and realized they were standing in some sort of shiny temple. Everything-- especially the floors-- were glossy, and Jeremy could see his own reflection from the flooring. He looked forward slightly, and realized that while he could see his own reflection, he couldn’t see Heather’s.

“Because I can’t mess with her anymore. The person who _really_ killed me is dead, so I’m, like, free from limbo and able to move onto the afterlife… or something.” She clicked her tongue. “I hung back a little bit, though, Kurt and Ram didn’t wait for me. God knows where they are now-- oh! Wait! He probably does!” Heather laughed bitterly, and Jeremy blinked at her. Heather eyed him right back. “What?”

“Why’d you hang back?”

“Well, I still have a few loose ends to tie up. Can’t move on unless those are finished.” Heather crossed her arms. “Because Veronica doesn’t feel as guilty about me anymore, because she’s too focused on JD, I can’t haunt her. Not like I’d want to anymore, but I did want to tell her some things. And because you’re her friend, I’m gonna use you as a messenger, mm’kay?”

“So… like… a medium?”

“Uh… yeah. Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Heather stepped forward. “Tell her I don’t blame her for what she did to me. I was so focused on my anger at Veronica that I didn’t realize who the real person to blame was, and that I’m… sorry.”

Jeremy blinked. Heather? Sorry?

“Don’t give me that look. I could still possess you and make you… I don’t know… kill someone. Then you’d be in jail for the rest of your life.”

“Can you possess people?!”

“No. Dying made me soft.” Heather made a frustrated noise before looking at him again. “Since JD is dead, I won’t bother her anymore.” She turned to walk out of the front door, but stopped, and turned back to Jeremy. “One more thing?”

“What?”

“Tell Heather she’s trying too hard.”

“What? Which one?”

Heather laughed at that. “Both.” And then she left out the front door, disappearing in a wash of white light that blinded Jeremy, and he stepped back, covering his eyes

and he woke with a start in a hospital bed, sweating buckets and eyes wide.

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Helloooo?”

More silence. After a few seconds, Jeremy tried to get out of the bed, but a sudden pain shot through his body and he flopped back down, groaning.

“Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.”

“Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?” a voice piped up, and Jeremy looked over to see Rich, nearly in a full-body cast, but his left arm seemed to just be wrapped in gauze. He waved with his left arm.

“...Rich?”

Rich just waved again. “Hurts like a motherfucker, too, doesn’t it?” He looked at Jeremy expectantly. “Hey, be honest: what are they saying about me at school?”

Jeremy said nothing. Rich winced. “That bad, huh?”

“Sorry…”

“Sorry?!” Rich started. “I’m finally free of that shiny happy hive mind! When I get outta here, the ladies are gonna learn to love the real Richard Goranski!” He paused, seemingly considering something. He looked like he had an epiphany. “And the dudes.” He suddenly beamed. “Oh my god, I’m totally bi!”

Jeremy stared at him. “Your squip’s gone?! But how?”

Rich shrugged. “Ask your buddies. They’ve been coming around, like, a ton, by the way. Veronica, and, you know, anti-social headphones kid? What is he, like, your boyfriend?” Rich paused. “No judgement there, though. Totally bi now.”

The door to the hospital room opened just as Rich finished talking, and Jeremy felt a wave of relief as he saw Veronica and Michael enter. Their eyes widened as they spotted Jeremy, awake. Without another word, Michael grabbed the curtain between Rich and Jeremy’s beds and slid it shut before running toward hugging Jeremy tightly, making him wheeze as Michael pulled away.

“Dude! It’s been two weeks!”

“WHAT?!”

“You were in a coma!” Veronica offered, and Jeremy blanked. A coma?

“It feels like its only been hours…”

“Dreams are stupid. Makes it seem like you've been asleep shorter than you've actually been. We’ve been coming by every day.”

“What happened? All I remember was… a noise, and then before that, JD…”

“Oh, dude, you didn’t hear? It’s all over the news!” Michael exclaimed, and Veronica stepped towards the edge of Jeremy’s hospital bed.

“They found out it was JD who exploded,” Veronica explained. “Dental records. They found the thermals packed upstairs in the gym-- the police, I mean-- and they came to the conclusion that JD was planning on bringing the trigger bomb in, but it blew up before he could enter. Either that or he had second thoughts. I don’t know.” She was lying. She knew full well, but with Rich and Michael in the room, she couldn’t exactly come out and say it.

“So… it’s all pegged on him, then.” Jeremy stared at Veronica, and she pressed her lips together in a flat line and nodded.

“All him.”

Jeremy looked at Michael. “How come Rich’s squip is gone? He said to ask you.”

Michael’s eyes widened, and he smiled excitedly. “Oh man, it was genius! They were communicating with each other – they were linked! Which means... when you consider the kind of high-frequency sonic disturbance needed to wipe a system that powerful…”

Jeremy held his hands up. “Michael. My head still hurts.”

“Oh. Sorry-- You know JD had a squip, right? So it was linked to everyone else’s, too. Turns out you didn’t have to destroy every squip. Just one. And the rest…” He mimed explosions with his hands. “Boom boom boom boom boom.”

Veronica scoffed. “First ‘boom’ was bigger than the others.”

“Yeah. I think my squip knew if JD died, they would too-- they were really freaking out.” Then he looked at Michael, taking him in. “I don’t get it. After everything I did... You were still there for me. Why?”

Michael smiled, embarrassed. “I can’t take all the credit. Your dad can be shockingly persuasive.”

Jeremy blinked. “My dad?”

The door opened again, and in entered Mr. Heere-- wearing pants. Jeremy balked at him.

“Jeremy, are you okay?!” Mr. Heere rushed forward, and Jeremy nodded.

“Actually, I’m great--”

“I’m glad. Because you’re grounded. You’re going to see some serious changes, young man, starting…” Mr. Heere paused. Jeremy was smiling. “What?”

“Dad... You’re...wearing…”

“Don’t look so surprised. I’m your father. And I wear the pants around here! Now let’s get down to business: who’s this Christine person, and why did I have to hear about her from _him?”_ Mr. Heere gestured towards Michael. Jeremy and Veronica shared a look-- evidently the both of them were the only ones who were actually lucid during the whole… debacle.

“It doesn’t matter. After what I did, I’m lucky if she wants to go to the same school as me.” Jeremy looked up to see Mr. Heere and Michael grinning at each other. “What?”

“It’s reassuring. He still doesn’t know anything about girls,” Michael laughed. Veronica and Jeremy secretly shared a look again.

 _“He doesn’t know?”_ she mouthed at him, and he shook his head. Neither Michael or Mr. Heere noticed this, and Mr. Heere leaned forward, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder.

 

_“You gotta buy her a rose / Compliment her on her clothes!”_

_“Say you appreciate that she’s smart!”_

 

Rich slid open the curtain, revealing that he was eavesdropping. He was smirking.

 

_“No, man, you tell her that she / Excites you sexually!”_

_“And that’s the way you get to her heart!”_

_“Trust me I know / How it’s gonna go / Listen, and ohhhhh--”_

 

_And there are voices in my ear / I guess these never disappear_

_I’ll let ‘em squeal / And I will deal / Then make up my own mind_

_Might still have voices in my head / But now they’re just the normal kind_

_Voices in my head / But now they’re the normal kind._

 

====

 

Two days later, Jeremy was back at school again-- and evidently, so was Veronica.

“I made the excuse that I was grieving,” Veronica told Jeremy, walking into the school. “I’m not. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, other than the fact I had to watch my ex-boyfriend explode after beating the shit out of some squip zombies, I’m great,” Veronica said sarcastically, and sighed. “Sorry. I was just… panicked. I didn’t want to face high school again.”

“Alone?”

“I’m not alone. I have Martha.” She was right-- not one day after the pep rally explosion Martha had marched right up to her, Michael watching from a distance, and told Veronica outright that what she did was horrible and that Veronica should’ve been a better friend. Veronica had just burst into tears and hugged Martha, and Martha started babbling about how she didn’t mean to make her cry but Veronica had just cried harder. They stayed up all night that night watching terrible movies on Netflix and eating popcorn.

“I just… ugh. Didn’t want to have to face Heather.”

Jeremy looked at her. “You know… before I woke up in the hospital, I had a really weird dream.”

Veronica snorted. “Dude, don’t tell me your wet dreams.”

Jeremy swatted at her, laughing. “I’m trying to be serious! I had-- a dream about Heather Chandler.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I don’t think it was a dream.”

“So… I hadn’t lost my mind?”

“No. She told me that she wanted me to tell you that she doesn’t blame you for what you did, and that she’s not going to bother you anymore because JD is dead.”

Veronica pressed her lips together and said nothing, thinking. Jeremy kept going.

“She also told me that since her real killer is dead, she can move onto the… afterlife, or whatever. She said she’s sorry for all the shit she did to you.”

Veronica looked surprised. “Heather? Sorry?”

“I know, I was surprised too.” Jeremy moved to put his hands in his pockets, but paused. Then he shrugged and put his hands in his pockets anyways.

Veronica eyed him. “So, how about Christine, huh?”

Jeremy pressed his lips together, smiling. “I still can’t believe he doesn’t _remember kissing me.”_

“I can imagine the shock already.”

“So, are you gonna confront him about it?”

Jeremy nodded. “But you’ve got to hold up to your end of the bargain, too.”

Veronica nodded back, flushing a little. “Got it.”

“No chickening out.”

Veronica looked at him. “Who was the one who was totally ready to give up to the squip while I was beating up zombies?”

“You…” Jeremy stared at the floor, and Veronica patted his shoulder.

“You weren’t in your right mind. Don’t blame yourself.”

“But-- I was in my right mind!” Jeremy said suddenly, turning to Veronica frantically. “I knew exactly what I was doing, I just-- I wanted to believe things could be that easy-- I don’t--”

Veronica grabbed him by the shoulders. “It was manipulating you. It wasn’t your fault. And I showed up, didn’t I?”

Jeremy pressed his lips together in a flat line, staring at the floor. “Yeah…”

“Hey. It’s okay. Now, get out there, slugger.”

Jeremy tensed. “Could you not… call me slugger, please?”

Veronica blinked for a moment before nodded. “Okay. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Jeremy fiddled with a loose coin in his pocket, before smiling at Veronica. “So who’s goin’ first?”

Veronica thought for a moment. “Whoever sees their crush first.”

“Are you okay… with _this,_ anyways? JD died, like, two weeks ago.”

Veronica pursed her lips. “We broke up a few days before he died. What we had wasn’t love, it was obsession.”

“Yeah…”

“I was the only one who had given him that much affection ever since his mom died,” Veronica said as the two walked deeper into the school, “so I guess he was just so starved for it that he became obsessed with me. He literally killed for me. He literally killed _himself_ for me. What we had wasn’t healthy-- and I think we both knew that only one of us was gonna get out in one piece.” She pinched the space between her eyebrows. “Literally.”

“I’m sorry--”

“Don’t be. It was nice at first, he was nice at first, but then he just got horrible and I found myself walking on eggshells around his stupid fucking hair-trigger temper. I’m actually kind of relieved he’s gone.” She sighed. “That’s really horrible to hear, to talk about the dead like that, but it’s the truth. I need to move on.”

“Okay. Yeah, I get that.” The two moved further into the school without another word, but Jeremy seized up when he saw Jenna, Chloe, Brooke, and Jake approach him menacingly.

“Hey-- guys--” Jeremy backed up a little bit. “About what happened--”

“We’ve been looking for you, punk,” Jake hissed, but then he grinned, suddenly amicable. “To say: good luck asking out Christine!”

Jeremy winced, and Veronica side-eyed him. “Seriously, how does everyone know about that?”

“It’s crazy, but ever since we all did ecstasy at the school play, I’ve felt really connected to you guys,” Chloe said, smiling, and Veronica looked at Brooke. Her nose was a little off-kilter, but she looked fine.

“Uh… Brooke…” she started, and Brooke looked at her.

“Oh, don’t worry about my face, Veronica,” Brooke reassured her. “I guess I was just really violent on drugs. I had no idea. You were just defending yourself.”

“What… do you… remember?” Veronica asked very slowly.

“Uh… I remember going to school for the pep rally… I was getting ready in the back… and then everything gets really fuzzy, but I definitely remember, like, attacking you? Because a croquet mallet to the face hurts really bad.”

Chloe stepped forward. “And Veronica, we’re all really sorry about your boyfriend--”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend when he died.” She was blunt. Chloe blinked at her.

“Oh. Well, you lucked out, then. You don’t mind me badmouthing him, do you?”

“Chloe, believe me, I can do enough badmouthing for the both of us.” Veronica crossed her arms, smirking, and Chloe’s mouth opened a little before she blushed and stepped back, nudging Jenna. “Anyways, we’re here to support you with Christine, Jeremy. You tell him, Jenna.” Jenna stepped forward.

 

_“Just summon strength from within!” “Don’t get up hung up on your skin!”_

_“She probably thinks that acne is hot!”_

_“I’ll throw you a rope, homeslice / If you need some dope advice--”_

_“Now march on over and give her a shot!”_

_“Buddy you’ll see / It’ll go perfectly / If you listen to me, me, me!”_

 

“Veronica!” a voice called out, and she looked over to see Macnamera running towards her with a regretful-looking Duke in tow. “Veronica, where have you been? People have been saying you killed yourself!”

Jeremy looked at Veronica, and leaned towards her.

“I guess you’re going first,” he whispered, and Veronica snorted.

“Good thing I’m more brazen,” she said back, and Jeremy buried his face in his hands.

“You look like hell,” Duke said, and Veronica blinked. She had barely slept after JD had died, so, yeah, she probably did look like hell.

“I just got back,” she said flatly, then grabbed Duke, who yelped.

“Hey-- what are you doing?!” Veronica, ignoring Duke’s protests, removed Chandler’s red scrunchie before kissing Duke on the cheek. Jeremy looked at her, and Veronica stepped forward, pulling her hair back and into a ponytail with the scrunchie.

 

_“Listen up folks / War is over / Brand new sheriff’s come to town_

_We are done with acting evil / We will lay our weapons down_

_We’re all damaged / We’re all frightened / We’re all freaks / But that’s alright_

_We’ll endure it / We’ll survive it / Heather, are you free tonight?”_

 

Macnamera blinked. Veronica was staring at her.

“What?”

“Listen, I-- you remember the Halloween party, right? What I did?”

Macnamera’s face flushed, and she stared at the floor. “You were drunk, I didn’t think much of it--”

“Yeah, well, now that I’m sober, I kinda wanna do it again.” Veronica stepped forward. “If you’re cool with that. Maybe we can go watch a movie? Something with a happy ending?”

Macnamera stared for a few seconds, before nodding. They stood like that for a second, and Veronica realized that Duke and Jeremy were staring. She turned around, before grabbing Macnamera’s hand (she blushed but didn’t pull away) and looking at Jeremy. “It’s your turn, punkass.”

Jeremy laughed very nervously and walked forward, just as Brooke, Chloe, Jenna, and Jake came into view around the corner. They glanced at Veronica and Macnamera for a second before smiling wide and they all gave the two girls a thumbs up.

Duke stepped forward. “Listen, you two?” She looked at Macnamera and Veronica. “Can I talk to you? Alone?"

 

 

“So… you were being a dick… because your Squip made you a dick,” Veronica repeated.

Duke snapped her gum and nodded, staring at the bathroom floor. “It got linked with everyone during the pep rally. I feel like shit.”

“So this squid thing… was the ecstasy everyone took? It was a computer?” Macnamera looked bewildered. Evidently Veronica’s half-assed explanation wasn’t all that great.

“It wasn’t ecstasy. It was a computer that installs in your brain through a pill that Duke used to make her cooler. Jeremy had one too, but his was, like, faulty or something, and tried to make the whole school a hivemind.”

“Oh my god. Oh my _god.”_ Macnamera now looked horrified. “I thought that was just-- drugs--”

“What did yours look like?” Duke asked.

“Li… Lisanne Falk…” Macnamera stared at her hands.

“Mine was Shannon Doherty,” Duke said before looking at Veronica. “What about you?”

“Oh… I never got squipped. I just fought ‘em off with a mallet-- why do you think that Brooke’s nose got broken?”

Duke snorted, but her face fell as she returned to the conversation at hand. “Again… I was a huge asshole. I’m sorry.”

Veronica leaned against the wall, looking at her. Duke looked… genuinely regretful, and Macnamera looked at her tentatively.

“What you did to me really sucked,” she said softly, and Duke buried her head in her hands.

“I know. I’m really sorry.” She stared at the floor. “Squips are dicks. I was a dick. You don’t have to forgive me.”

Macnamera was silent. “I was a dick too, even without the squip. I was a bully, just like all the other popular kids. I… We both did some horrible things.”

“We all have,” Veronica said suddenly, and both Heathers looked at her. “So let’s just be shitty friends together.”

“Well, half-shitty friends. You two are, like, dating now, right?” Duke looked from Macnamera to Veronica, and both of them nodded. Duke laughed. “I guess I’m a third wheel now, then.”

“Hey, if you’re uncomfortable--” Macnamera started, but Duke waved her hand dismissively.

“Nah. I’m good. Just… dealing with everything. It’s… quiet. I’ve been dealing with the squip for so long that I didn’t even realize how loud it was.” She pressed her lips together, and Veronica realized that Duke’s eyes were brimming with tears. “I’m sorry, Heather, Veronica.”

Macnamera moved forward before embracing Duke, and Veronica moved forward to join the hug. They stood like that for about twelve seconds before Jenna walked in and said that the bell was about to ring.

 

_+++++_

 

_And there are voices all around                    We can be seventeen…_

_And you can never mute the sound              We can learn how to chill…_

_They scream and shout, I tune them out      If no-one loves me now_

_Then make up my own mind                        Someday somebody will_

_Might still have voices in my head               We can be seventeen..._

_But now they’re the normal kind                  Still time to make things right..._

_Voices in my head                                       One day we’ll change the world_

_But now they’re the normal kind.                 But let’s kick back tonight._

 

_+++++_

 

Jeremy stood at the end of the hallway, feeling like his heart was going to explode in his chest. The hallway was largely empty save for Christine standing at a water fountain, Veronica watching Jeremy around the corner, and Michael, also watching, pretending to rifle around in his locker. Behind him, Jenna, Brooke, Chloe, and Jake watched excitedly, waiting for Jeremy to confess to Christine. Jeremy breathed in deeply, heart in his throat, and finally, he bit the bullet and walked forward.

“Hi, Christine.”

Christine looked up, smiling. “Hi!”

And then he walked right past her and right up to Michael. He turned to Jeremy in surprise.

“Jeremy, what are you--”

“Michael, I’m seriously surprised you don’t remember any of it. You were lucid the longest.”

Michael blinked at him. “Of course I remember it. I came to the school with Martha, Martha got squipped, everyone started trying to get to us both, I managed to grab the Dew and then they got me.”

“And after that?”

“I think I blacked out. Had a really weird dream, though.” Michael laughed nervously. Jeremy squinted.

“What about?”

“It’s… not important.”

“Michael, you got squipped.” Jeremy looked at him. “And then you kissed me.”

Michael paled. “Wh… I thought…” He stepped back, looking horrified. “That was a dream! I thought that was just a dream--”

“Ask Veronica. She saw it happen.”

“But-- then--” Realization flickered in Michael’s eyes. “You dropped the bottle! You gave up!”

Jeremy nodded. “I just-- I know, I’m sorry-- I just wanted things to be easy--”

“You… were gonna let everyone just…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I…” Michael stared at him, studying him for a moment before sighing. “It was manipulating you, right?”

“I still gave up.”

“But it had control of your mind and your body! It wasn’t--”

“It was my fault, Michael.”

“I know how it felt, though… everything felt so easy. Like I’d never have to… not know anything again.” Michael stepped forward, deeply embarrassed, face flushed crimson. “I just… It’s embarrassing to find out, deep down I just want things to be easy…” He gave Jeremy a look. “It was still kind of shitty to give up just ‘cuz I kissed you, though.”

“Hell of a way to confess, though.” Jeremy stared at the floor. “Look, I almost destroyed the school-- maybe all of human civilization--  and I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but--”

“Jeremy.” Michael looked at him. “Just… say what’s on your mind.”

“...lunch? Just the two of us?”

“Jeremy, we had lunch with just the two of us nearly every day.”

“You know what I mean! For-- for real this time, no squips controlling our minds, no-one manipulating us into doing anything we don’t want to do… Just us.”

Michael breathed in.

 

_“And any voices in our heads…”                    “We’ll make it beautiful…”_

_“There might be voices in our heads…          “So beautiful…”_

_But I swear the voices there_

_Will be the regular kind.”_

 

_“Me and the voices in my head have made up our collective minds.”_

 

Jeremy looked at Michael nervously.

 

_“What do they say we should do?”_

 

Michael smiled, still blushing a deep red, slightly flustered. He wrung his hands nervously, embarrassed and grinning stupidly, before looking up at Jeremy.

 

_“I think that all of us want to go out with you.”_

 

Jeremy’s eyes widened, and he lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Michael and hugging him tight. He looked up, and Veronica was giving him a thumbs up, Macnamera standing next to her, the two girls holding hands-- though Jeremy doubted it was for stability this time. Brooke, Chloe, Jake, and Jenna all ran down the hallway, Jenna grabbing Christine and towing her along until they surrounded Jeremy and Michael, laughing, as the two boys pulled away from each other.

“Dude, you totally had us thinking--”

“I was just surprised that none of you figured it out!” Jeremy exclaimed, cutting Jake off, and Veronica and Macnamera ran over and joined the collective, and Veronica gave Jeremy a huge hug.

“I knew you could do it!” she laughed, and Jeremy wheezed. Veronica was ridiculously strong (he wasn’t surprised, she managed to fight off dozens of squip zombies). She grabbed him by the shoulders as she pulled away, and for the first time since Jeremy had ever met her, she was genuinely smiling. Wide. Happy. Unburdened. Jeremy smiled back before hugging her again, and the two suddenly burst out laughing, until the laughing slowly devolved from laughing to the two of them sobbing and clinging to each other, and they were just so relieved that it was all over. Jeremy had never once seen Veronica cry, but the sheer weight pushing down on the both of them was just so much, and all their peers were hit by worry as they checked to see if the two were alright, Michael and Macnamera especially, until finally Jeremy and Veronica were pried away from each other, wiping their eyes and coming down from the aftershocks, reassuring their loved ones that they were okay, just relieved.

 

++++

 

_“And there are voices in my head                        “Let’s go be seventeen_

_So many voices in my head                                 Take off our clothes and dance_

_And they can yell and hurt like hell                       Let’s act like we’re all still kids_

_But I know I’ll be fine!                                           ‘Cause this could be our final chance!_

_Of the voices in my head…                                  Let’s go be seventeen_

_Of the voices in my head…”                                 Celebrate you and I_

_“Of all the voices in my head                                Maybe we won’t grow old_

_The loudest one is mine!”                                     And then we’ll never die!”_

 

 _[Jeremy… ]_ The Squip hobbled forward around the corner, clutching their side and looking angry as everyone walked down the hall in a small crowd.

 

_“The loudest one is mine!”          “We’ll make it beautiful!”_

 

 _[You can’t get rid of me that easily,]_ they hissed, but Jeremy walked right by, ignoring them, holding Michael’s hand and smiling at Veronica, who was holding Macnamera’s hand. Martha ran over to Michael, looking from him to Jeremy to their hands, before smiling wide and giving Michael a high five, Michael slapping her hand before she started walking beside Michael, talking animatedly, and Michael talking just as animatedly back. He looked… happy, and Jeremy squeezed his hand a little. Michael looked up, smiling at Jeremy and squeezing his hand back.

 

_“The loudest one is mine!”          “We’ll make it beautiful!”_

 

_[JEREMYYYYyyyyyyy--]_

 

_“Let’s go!”_

 

_“C-c-c-come on! C-c-c-come on! Let’s go!      “Beautiful! / Beautiful! / Beautiful!_

_C-c-c-come on! C-c-c-come on! Let’s go!        Beautiful! / Beautiful! / Beautiful!”_

 

_“Let’s go be beautiful!”_

 

 

 

_====_

 

 

_[This sucks.]_

_“You_ suck.”

The Squip looked up to see a teenage girl with long blonde hair wearing nothing but a silky red robe. There was blue fluid dribbling out of her mouth, and she looked irritated, arms crossed and staring down at the Squip, who was lying on the floor holding their side.

_[I’m… sorry? Heather Chandler?]_

Heather rolled her eyes, flipping her hair. “Got it in one, bitch. Have fun being forced to make fun of a kid for the rest of your existence, I’m gonna go chill with J-man up in the clouds. Or S-man down below. Whichever one I’m sent to.” She walked forward, away from the Squip, who was seized by panic, reaching out a hand to grab her by the hem of her robe.

_[Wait--! No, don’t leave me with him!]_

Heather looked at the Squip, side-eyeing them over her shoulder, and she smirked before kicking the Squip’s arm, causing them to yelp and fall back, cradling their arm like a wounded animal. God damn, could she kick like an angry horse.

“Everything about you is fucking terrible,” she sneered. “Have fun in your personal hell.” Heather turned around before walking out of an open door, and then she vanished. The Squip stared after her with their eyes wide.

_[...Bye…]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!  
> tungle: http://deoxys-official.tumblr.com
> 
> I'm considering doing a group chat fic about this later? Just for fun, I'll update it whenever.


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